Video game time

Mikej77

So I just wanted to vent really, but I would be very interested in MFP members opinions about the subject. First things first, I am a gamer, have been since playstation 2 came out. I play usually online with friends, sometimes at offline with my wife, son and friends. My son is currently 13 years old. Honor student, rarely talks back, does not get in trouble at school. Is very polite and respectful when we are around family or strangers. Over the last few years he has shown little interest in sports. He played a few years of t-ball, rode his BMX, and tried his hand in skateboarding. He has also shown some interest in airsoft.

During the week he lives with his mom and goes to school in her area. I pick him up on friday afternoon and drop him off on sunday afternoon. In the past he has had some trouble prioritizing things. Usually gaming is all he wants to do, sometimes forgets to do the things a non gamer would never forget or procrastinate with. There are times we had to remind him to eat, brush his teeth, clean his room, and even shower. Most times he remembers because in the past his mom has taken games away for months at a time. For not listening or for getting bad progress reports in school. This usually forces him to bring his grades back up and make honor roll again.

It is not my opinion that a child should be forced to play sports. I never played sports and do not want to be forced to do something I do not have any interest in. Do I wish my parents kept me in karate when I was younger? Sure, but hindsight is 20/20. My son likes his games, but his mother and I usually disagree with time limits on the games. Now, I am a gamer, I have played some games for EXTREMLY long periods of time, on my days off, taking breaks to let dog out, stretch, and to eat. The problem I have is some people stereotype gaming as such a horrible thing. I have had conversation with people time and time again when they think I or my son are crazy for playing a game for 3,4 or even 5 hours straight. Usually I rebuttle with things like, have you ever sat and watched two movies back to back? OR I ask are you a sports fan, do you ever watch two football games back to back? Most people will give the same reply "Thats not the same thing" Well I personally beg to differ. In my opinion, I find it more entertaining, better for your mind and in all reality more social then watching TV. Unless watching a sports event with a group of friends. Most times when watching TV or a movie, conversation is completly limited if not absent all together.

When playing games, my son and I not only have aquired lots of friends, but we have increased our people skills. Sure we are not as active as the father and son that go play catch in the yard, but I am sorry that is not our cup of tea, honestly I find that boring. I am not saying I never promote active things with my son. We both enjoy fishing, disc golf, taking the dog to play at the pond and we would love to go shooting together if his mom didn't put the breaks on that activity.

I know there are numerous studies about game time and TV time and such, but I find it annoying that I am told that my son needs to have a time limit to play games. I am told that I should make him go out and do something... "something" WTF is that?
I am expected to tell my boy that he needs to just go outside and play with him self? I am sorry but I can't do that. Again, I am fine with redirecting him off the computer/xbox and going doing something with him. But I do not feel it is acceptable as a parent to expect my son to just go and be active while I sit and watch another episode of NCIS.

Ok rant over, rip me apart, agree with me, give me your thoughts or totaly ignore me. Either way all is well in my world!

_benjammin

I'm not a gamer or a parent. Sorry, can't relate or judge. I just think it's cool you are spending time with your son.

pauljsaunders

Hi, as a parent with a daughter who has reach high school it’s difficult to maintain a level of balance with social, educational and recreational activities. You have to take into personal likes and dislikes. As working on a mental health unit in the UK we find that those lengths of hours are excessive if it is day in day out, reason being that you become so absorbed in the activities that it affects your ability to function fully as a human ( personal care, living skills, social intervention), In short you become dysfunctional in areas of life skills, this has a detrimental effect of your future, it affects your drive to succeed in areas that matter (employment and home environment and relationships). Research shows that boundaries need to be set other wise you may be challenged when trying to sort this out.. All children are influenced by their parents, and their parenting skills… You may contribute to the outcome of their abilities and efforts through not managing the situation at an early stage… My wife is a Health Visitor in the UK and monitors children’s growth, environment and social abilities at all stages.. The impact of the parent on their child can be under estimated, good or bad points… Sorry I’m a little passionate on the early years of children and their start in life… It's up to you...

Power_Man77

Gamer and father of two preteen boys. Like everything else, moderation is needed when it comes to gaming. I play games mostly sports games but I also like sports. My kids play games but also enjoy the outdoors. I introduced them to many outdoor activities so they like basketball, playing catch, bike riding, tennis,football. I learned its not about what you like but getting the kids around different things. Kids don't know when they really like something until they try it. Its up to the parents to take on that part. But you all do other thing,s I don't see a problem. I've sat and played games 2-3 hours in a row. I prioritizing things handle things at home first. I might cut something instead of watching t.v or the game, i'll play some games. You said certain things are not you cup of tea and your son feels that way also. Question is he picking that up from you? If you get excited about something he may also. If you met a lot people by gaming, how many more can you meet through other activities. When I take a day off, there is nothing like spending the day gaming. I feel ya on that.

Francl27

I can't really say much, I've always been a gamer (although I haven't really been playing anything for months... odd). I was playing video games a lot as a kid, but always after doing my homework, and I had friends that I saw etc... I've spent days and days just playing online games too (until I got kids, then it got difficult, lol). As long as your kid is healthy and still does well in school, I don't really see a problem with it... but keep an eye on his weight and eating habits so he doesn't end up obese like I did.

I'm totally with you though, I've used my brain more playing games than watching tv, and I've made friends that way too.