My Ultimate Weight Loss Reward

L2HS

I've started/stopped/revised this so many times and it's gotten nowhere so I think I'll just type until I run out of things to type. I'm kinda new to MFP but not new to struggling with my weight. I've always been heavy and I've always had an excuse for being heavy. I blamed everything from my mother to genetics to unrealistic expectations from the world to college stress to graduate school stress. A few years ago I was given another place to put blame: PCOS. The way I understand it, the answer to which came first (PCOS vs obesity) is different depending on you who ask. That's neither here nor there really. I am obesed and I have PCOS. Those are facts that I have to face. Despite everything, I have a job I love and am recently married to the most wonderful man in my life. After 30 years, my life is where I want to to be EXCEPT I want children so badly I dream of it nightly. I went to my doctor 2 months after I got married and what I was told floored me. Being Google literate, I knew that with PCOS I would have trouble conceiving. I figured the doctor would prescribed some medication to make me ovulate and I would have a higher chance of having multiples (a bonus, really). Instead, my doctor told me that she did not recommend that I have a child. The risk of miscarriage, complications, and potential developmental delays any child I carried to term would be devastatingly high. As someone who works with children with delays, it was the worse news I could hear. My doctor told me I had to lose weight and being 30, I had to lose it quickly. It was recommended that I consider bariatric surgery. I knew I had hit a new low (or a new high weight wise). She recommended that I lose 65 pounds. My jaw dropped. I hadn't been 185 pounds since freshman year in college. I was devastated. Anyone looking into my car as I was parked on the roof of the parking garage could've easily mistaken my intentions. I did the research and found that even if I did the surgery, it would be 2 years before it was safe enough to attempt pregnancy. The facts were simple. I'm 30. I'm 250 lbs. I want a baby. I need to lose weight. So on July 10, 2013 I renewed my weight loss journey. I have done fairly well. Some weeks are better than others but the overall trend is downwards. I've read many times that you should reward yourself after so many pounds lost. I do this halfheartedly. Every 10 pounds I give myself something new but I know that my ultimate reward would be a chance at bringing a healthy child into this world.

As of today, I am 40 pounds from my goal. I hope to give myself wonderful birthday present in February. It will be tough but I hope to be able to do it. I don't know what to expect from posting this. I know it's in black and white and it will forever be floating in cyberspace. Maybe that's the accountability I need to help me reach my ultimate weight loss reward.

Krissy_b777

Congrats on your weight loss so far! Never lose sight of your goal!!

misjent

I can completely relate to your story. I am 32 years old and started my weight loss journey about 5 years ago. At my heaviest I was 215 lbs. I am currently 164 lbs and trying to lose about 30 lbs more. I am 5' 8" so although that will be on the skinny side, still healthy.

I also have PCOS and would love to have a child. The last doctor I saw did prescribe Clomid (I think that is how it's spelled!) I did 3 rounds of treatment and never once did it cause me to ovulate. I was (still am) brokenhearted. I have had to refocus my goals a bit, I have gone back to school and am trying to just focus on the things I can change right now. I will never give up on having a child, hopefully in a few months, I can try the drugs again with better luck.

Good luck on your journey! Don't give up because the reward will be life changing!!

Superhero_Leah

I love this, work hard and you will get there and have a beautiful baby!!!

MermaidTX

That is so awesome that you have put your mind to it & are so close!

Best wishes that you not only meet your WL goals, but you achieve all life goals!

EtherealPerfection

Aww the chance to have a child is probably one of the biggest weight loss rewards I can think of. I really wish you the best of luck. Don't give up, you can do this! I don't know if anyone has any rewards but personally I'm going to get a tattoo and buy some new clothes that'll make me feel confident in my new body.

L2HS

Thank you all for the kind words of support. I originally joined MFP just for the food and exercise log but I'm finding that I need emotional support as well.

misjent- I know that losing the 60+ pounds will not guarantee that I will be able to have a child. I felt the need to be proactive and increase my chances as much as possible. I'm hoping that you and I will both feel the joys of motherhood one day.