Todays Struggle

godspeed4me

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

4legsRbetterthan2

It helped me to pick a goal that went along with my weight loss - for me I want to become a runner, so yes it helps with the weight loss but it gives me something totally different to focus on than the scale. I feel so awesome when I come back from a run where I made a new achievement, it makes me feel awesome and powerful and sexier and everthing and had nothing to do with some stupid number on some stupid machine its just about me!

knitapeace

I hear you! I've tried to set some non-scale related goals that I can work toward that are more for my health than my appearance, like running times and speeds. You can love yourself the way you are and still try and improve your health.

stephaniehgreen1

I totally agree. I just want to be healthy. I am tired of dieting, struggling and disappointment. I have decided I am just going to be healthy. I eat what I want but focus on portion control and moderation. I make healthy choices. I eat birthday cake on birthdays but not a whole piece. I feel good and am losing pounds and inches. I want to do it slowly so I learn how to be healthy and maintain the weight.

jhloves2knit

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brraanndi

Your physical body is merely the house that you reside in. Don't let it disturb your intimacy like that. You are beautiful as long as you believe that yourself.

It took me a long time but now I realize that I love my imperfect chub, there is nothing wrong with being me and if I choose to lose or gain weight I will still be just as awesome.

I believe striving for good health is excellent goal and I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve it.

mmouse90

Remember just because someone is small and looks like they are healthy and fit does not mean they are.

godspeed4me

Your physical body is merely the house that you reside in. Don't let it disturb your intimacy like that. You are beautiful as long as you believe that yourself.

It took me a long time but now I realize that I love my imperfect chub, there is nothing wrong with being me and if I choose to lose or gain weight I will still be just as awesome.

I believe striving for good health is excellent goal and I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve it.

You brought tears to my eyes! This is the body I have control over and inside is who God created! Thank you everyone for the great advice. I am going to be setting a non visual goal and work towards that!

sarah456s

I don't want to be stick thin, but I want to be the best version of me that I can be. And that includes being at a healthy weight, but more important to me, it includes exercising and keeping my internal organs working properly (that is, no diabetes or heart disease!) so I can feel my best. And meditating so my mind and spirit stay healthy too.

But I also want to make this sustainable. I've failed so many times in the past trying to do too much. I used to want to have this perfect food diary when I was on other sites as I didn't want to ever be embarrassed by my food choices. Now, if you look, you'll see I have plenty of unhealthy food options (including cookies for breakfast this morning). Am I proud of the cookies? No way. But I'll make sure the rest of the day includes good choices, I'll exercise, and I'll try hard to be within my calorie goal.

aomoore4724

I know how you feel!! But it is important to love who you are now and love who you will become once you are at a healthier you. I have done a lot of soul searching these last few weeks and I have come to the conclusion that I never want to be the stick thin girl (because I never have been) but I want to be the curvy healthier version on myself. It doesn't matter what the scale says because me knowing that everything I put in my mouth has a nutritional purpose makes me feel proud of myself. Especially knowing that I have conquered the temptation of foods that aren't real (but processed, fast food, junk food.) If you have Netflix I recommend watching the documentary Hungry for Change. Also, following different weight loss motivation accounts on tumblr and instagram have helped me on my daily struggle. Find the accounts by following hashtags that pertain to weight loss. Keep your head up!!! And as another member for the fitness community once told me, "TRUST THE PROCESS!!!!"

If I can do this, You can do this!!!

pawoodhull

Your physical body is merely the house that you reside in. Don't let it disturb your intimacy like that. You are beautiful as long as you believe that yourself.

It took me a long time but now I realize that I love my imperfect chub, there is nothing wrong with being me and if I choose to lose or gain weight I will still be just as awesome.

I believe striving for good health is excellent goal and I have no doubt that you will be able to achieve it.

You brought tears to my eyes! This is the body I have control over and inside is who God created! Thank you everyone for the great advice. I am going to be setting a non visual goal and work towards that!

Godspeed4me, healthy isn't a size, it's a state of life. I started my journey at 386 pounds because I was missing out on so much that I just couldn't do or places I couldn't go because I was so big. I didn't do this to be "model thin". I did this to be healthy. I'm still 75 pounds from my "ideal weight" of 160, but let me tell you, my personal goal is land somewhere under 200. As long as I get below 200 and stay there, I will consider myself successful, becuase anywhere below 200 is a healthy weight for me. If I make it all the way to 160, fantastic, if not, that's OK too. God's word tells us to care for our body, it does not say what that body needs to look like or what size it should be. Eat helthy and exercise and accept the blessing God has given you in a healthy body.

dayhadley

Society is pretty screwed up - I've learned that we just have to live with the way people think - we can't wait for society to change - there are too many ignorant and judgmental people in this world. You should be happy with who you are and how you look IF you're not depressed because you feel unhealthy or when being overweight affects your marriage. Believe me, I've been there so many times in my life - I know exactly how you feel. I know when I lose weight, I feel more apt to flirt and yada yada yada w/my husband, but more importantly, when I lose a few pounds, I not only feel better about myself when I look in the mirror, but I feel 100% better when my bra and pants aren't so snug. Not too mention, having a little more energy. All of these things bump up our confidence and put a smile on our face and in turn, make us happier. Not for society, but for ourselves. Always try to remember, we should be losing weight for us - for the way we feel - inside and out! And getting healthier is an extra bonus, especially as you get older (I'm 43 and think about my health a lot these days.) This is most important due to blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes, etc. that pop up later because we didn't take care of ourselves.

I am always looking for motivation, willpower and encouragement. I'm back on MFP and I come here daily. Besides tracking, I come to check out the message boards because there are so many people out there who are like you and me... we find it difficult - this fight to lose weight - and sometimes you just want to throw in the towel... but that only hurts ourselves, no one else. Check out the boards and I hope you find some inspiration (and sometimes a laugh :-)... I've been fighting this life long battle, but coming here helps.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!

BossLadyDSimp

That's a really good point I've never thought of another goal besides the scale. I have learned that it takes some looking inwards as well as working on my outside appearance. There are plenty of bigger women with tons of confidence and who really feel good about their selves.

I have learned that my weight loss journey is MY OWN! It is different than anyone elses and there for I can't compare myself. When we stop focusing on the rest of the world and society it helps us focus on ourselves.

I have had issues with my weight for as long as i can remember and it's always bothered me. At the end of the day there is a conversation that is needing to be had within yourself that although may be weight related, it is not purely based on your body image. Self confidence and self esteem comes from an internal place that we all need to find.

I figured this out when watching Hungry for Change.

I am sorry that its affecting your intimate relationships, I have had that happen as well. The people that don't build you up and stick with you don't deserve to be apart of this leg of the journey. THATS MY OWN PERSON FEELINGS.

kaogirlup

I've tried to focus on the milestones along the journey rather than any destination...celebrating a 100th workout for the year (reaching #200 in the next couple weeks!), running an entire 5K, making a 20 mile bike ride...I've tried to envision the weight/size loss as a pleasant side effect of simply living an active and healthy life. The pounds and inches will eventually stop decreasing, but we can all take pride in what our new bodies can do...and then make new challenges for the road ahead!

teresavink

When I first signed up to start this program I had up and down days. I am 50 lbs over weight and felt like I was climbing a mountain only to fall and fail. I went through feelings of, I just need to except that I will always be over weight. But the truth is I was so unhappy with how I looked, I hated taking pictures. I wanted to do activities with my family but would run out of energy. Then I would go binge to comfort myself. I was at a crossroad so I wrote out a pro and con list of where I am at and what the benefits and payoffs were and a pro and con list of setting a weight loss goal and the benefits and pay offs from that. I looked at all the health problems I was starting to have due to being over weight and it can only get worse. So I decided to go for health by setting goals and making a commitment to myself that I would set myself up for success by planning great meals, asking myself, " What are my triggers? and what can I do to find a new way of handling them?" I choose one workout to do everyday with one day off. Jillian Michaels 6 pack ab workout was the seller for me. I have held to my commitment everyday. I have had rough days, I have a couple of times fallen off the "wagon" but determined to get back on. During my workouts I watched "Extreme Weight Loss" with Chris Powell on hulu, It motivated me everyday that if they can do it I can to. I was so encouraged that after 30 days of consistent work out and holding to my calorie intake goals I lost 3 inches in hips and lower abdomen which is where a lot of weight was. I have finished 6 weeks and I lost 5 inches and a total of 10 inches overall. Know I am so grateful that I decided to choose to be healthy and live with energy and feel good about me. I still have weight to lose but I am learning to enjoy the journey and get excited to find an exercise to challenge myself with. Choose a healthy you, You are worth it! Ask yourself what are you really wanting? what do you wish were better, different? be honest and go for it!!!

ciaracrozier

I am a bit confused today...:ohwell: I keep thinking that maybe I just need to accept the way I am. You see all these posts of FB or Pinterest about society thinking every woman needs to be stick thin and why dont we just accept the way we are. I dont want to be super skinny I want to be me. Although I am not comfortable in my own skin and it has affect intimacy in my marriage as well as various other things. Maybe if I look at it as making healthy choices and not about weight loss. Become healthy and I will feel better about myself, my health will be greater and the weight may come off as well. So I am asking for some encouragement today.

Thank you

I have struggled back and forth with this idea of loving and accepting me just as I am, and wanting to be thinner and healthier. I have a really hard time losing weight, no matter how much I exercise and how little I eat, and so I often resort to beating myself up emotionally because I am still "obese". Recently, I came to a realization that this whole thing has always been about being healthier. Yes, losing weight would be great, but as long as I am healthy that is what matters. For me, that means eating the right foods and getting enough exercise to keep the symptoms of my PCOS at bay. So, my new mantra has become - if I am going to be fat for the rest of my life, then you can bet I will be the healthiest fat girl you have ever seen!

I tell you all this, because I know exactly how you feel. All I can say, that since I took the emphasis off the pounds and put it on my emotional well being, things have become a whole lot easier and I am a whole lot happier (and I still haven't lost a single lb). Hope it helps

BossLadyDSimp

I've tried to focus on the milestones along the journey rather than any destination...celebrating a 100th workout for the year (reaching #200 in the next couple weeks!), running an entire 5K, making a 20 mile bike ride...I've tried to envision the weight/size loss as a pleasant side effect of simply living an active and healthy life. The pounds and inches will eventually stop decreasing, but we can all take pride in what our new bodies can do...and then make new challenges for the road ahead!

Great goals! I will add a couple of these to mine!

Regan45

You have to remember that you came here for a reason. God may have even guided you here. Your body is your temple.
I feel so much better since I have lost weight -only 18 pounds. I have more energy to do things with my kids and my husband. I'm not too tired when they ask to do something. We're all having more fun!
You deserve to be the best you can be. And that doesn't have to be stick skinny. Maybe give 10 pounds a try?

babyj0

I think we've all been there, and will have our down days as well. We just have to remember that the most important thing is loving ourselves. Learn to love who you are, and what you are. If you are not comfortable in your own skin... you... yourself should be your own motivation.

Joanne_happygramma

Others have said it better than I will but please take it from someone that has spent their entire life feeling HUGE even when I wasn't. I am a large boned above average height woman and even when I was 130 pounds less than I am now I felt like I didn't fit in with what is "normal". I was a size 10 or 12 even at my smallest. I wish I had embraced who I was then and I might not be where I am today. I could never be ideal in my first husband's eyes and I learned early on he was very controlling so I showed him I controlled my weight all the way up to where I have been for the last 15 years or so.

I have a new husband that loves me all my lumps and wrinkles and both of us know the only reason I need to lose weight is so that my joints will last me longer than they will if I continue to make them carry around 270 pounds.
My gym had this body transitions fit test where they measure everything and I was amazed (and pleased) when they told me because of my structure etc etc my ideal weight is actually about 185 pounds - -no where near the 140 that all the "charts' tell me.

I do know that I just want to feel better, keep up with my grandchildren and enjoy a happy and healthy retirement.
I am on the way. Just remember it's about you and you are beautiful no matter what size you are.
Joanne

ValB78

I use to worry about what the scale said as well... but now I have set a rewarding goal for myself. I want to be STRONG not skinny... and if that means I'll have to gain SOME weight to achieve the strength, then so be it! With the unwanted chub here and there, I know my muscle will thrive through and help me be the active mommy I want so much!

We're all imperfect, and those imperfections are who we are...Love yourself!

Try setting short term goals to help with your confidence and will power! I have faith in you! Sending blessed thoughts and positive vibes your way!!! :bigsmile: