HELP ME with me twisted lovelife and weight loss.

bethannien

I spent years (and I do mean YEARS) in love with a guy who just never felt anything for me. Unlike your situation, though, he never led me on. It sounds like this guy just loves knowing you love him and that is really selfish. He knows how you feel, yet he keeps teasing you.

2 things should happen here. 1. You need to TELL him that his behavior gives you unfair hope and it hurts you. 2. You need to decide to lose weight and get healthy for you and you alone. Do it to be healthier. Do it to live longer. Do it to feel more attractive. Don't do it so that some selfish jerk MIGHT finally give you a chance. You deserve better than that.

qtgonewild

hang in there dude, the right one will love you no matter what weight you are. PERIOD.

brraanndi

If you're that desperate for love and companionship you should date these guys who are interested in you but may not be your type.

Turning down everyone and pining away after people who aren't interested is just plain dumb.

And your friend sounds like a real jerk, that "you never know how feeling will change in the future" was just to let you down easy. I've heard girlfriends say things like this, 99.9% of the time, it's utter crap.

reidhershel

I spent years (and I do mean YEARS) in love with a guy who just never felt anything for me. Unlike your situation, though, he never led me on. It sounds like this guy just loves knowing you love him and that is really selfish. He knows how you feel, yet he keeps teasing you.

2 things should happen here. 1. You need to TELL him that his behavior gives you unfair hope and it hurts you. 2. You need to decide to lose weight and get healthy for you and you alone. Do it to be healthier. Do it to live longer. Do it to feel more attractive. Don't do it so that some selfish jerk MIGHT finally give you a chance. You deserve better than that.

I think I'll go with number two.
It's hard to do it for him but the fact is that I've always wanted to feel happy with myself and it's a superior thing than just being fit expecting him to give me a chance. I know that it's a lifetime wish. Thanks God.

reidhershel

And your friend sounds like a real jerk, that "you never know how feeling will change in the future" was just to let you down easy. I've heard girlfriends say things like this, 99.9% of the time, it's utter crap.

I asked him ''You say you want me and you to be friends. Do you think it will be forever this way?''
He said "you never know how feeling will change in the future"
It's so confusing because he was asking me a lot of times before I told him if I would have the courage to have sex with him. Sooo confusing. It's so confusing as much as it isn't worthy.

reidhershel

Turning down everyone and pining away after people who aren't interested is just plain dumb.

But what should I do if I don't feel attracted to these guys? I feel like I would date them just to forget my friend. It would never be the same thing. In fact I could even hurt myself more.

Eabec

Lose the weight for yourself - to be happy with yourself and to live a healthy life. He isn't interested. The end. It hurts, yes, but someone is out there.

I was 22 and 115lbs when I met my partner of 14 years. In those 14 years, we gained weight together (168 now), and now we are losing it together.

Your love life will happen when its supposed to. Perhaps, after a hard life (from observation) its really time to focus on you - and to address those issues that caused you to eat in the first place. Who cares what other people say or do or what society dictates. Live your life for you - because surely in the end, you are all that matters. (do you think society cares if you lose 100lbs? no)

Look at it is physical weight loss but also emotional weight loss. If you address the emotional, you address the physical. If you are patient, love will find you.

WannabeStressFree

hi sweetie,

hang in there, you're a very nice young man and you truly have so much ahead of you. I too, have mostly always been overweight since a baby, and it made me insecure. This "friend" you speak of, is probably attractive and does as he pleases, I've encountered these types and I advise, from experience to not feed his ego, as it is all he is looking for in this "friendship" you have.
I understand you might see him around, but even if you pretend to not care about him, you might start to focus on you, and not what he is doing.
I agree with previous commentators, focus on yourself. Loving yourself, figuring out what you want and feel good as. If weight is an issue, then slowly take steps to identify what you want to change about yourself and act accordingly. I'm in this journey myself, trying to work on me, feeling good about myself, I do hope to finally meet someone that is a good fit. Unfortunately sometimes we encounter these wishy washy types that can leave us sooooo confused, been there, it worsened my anxiety and made feel crazy!

I say distance yourself from people that outright tell you that they're not the person for you. It surely hurts, but at least you'll stop wasting your time on them!
good luck- best wishes
xo

sarahg148

I'm in a similar situation as you right now. And I just want to let you know that reading everybody's responses to your post has also helped me a bit. It is SOOOO difficult to move on when you see this person and they KNOW how you feel, yet nothing seems to happen. At this point, we BOTH have to start looking at other options, work on ourselves and keep busy. The guy I like isn't doing exactly what your guy is doing...but very similar. He is just out of a very long term relationship and we started going out but then he pulled back a bit. I can only assume that he is taking time for himself and getting over his break up, even though he is the one who initiated it. Things happen for a reason and all you can do is learn from them and keep going. I'm taking a step back from how emotionally involved I was getting with him...still friends and such, but not expecting him to pursue me or anything at this point. It totally sucks, but we will both be okay and eventually find that one person that will make us happy and reciprocate our feelings. :flowerforyou:

reidhershel

Thank you so much!!!