A confession

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jade2112
jade2112 Posts: 272 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've never told a soul this, but need to say it out loud.

I take a lot of medication. One of them makes it so I taste absolutely nothing. I can discern sweet, salty, bitter, etc., but the actual flavor isn't there. One or more of them make me have no appetite either.

However, I continue to eat foods that aren't good for me. I don't enjoy them and don't really want them. I get it in my head that I should eat, say, a candy bar. Then I think "I really don't feel like eating anything and can't taste it anyway."

I feel that a lot of times I force myself to overeat even though the whole time I'm not enjoying it and don't really want it. I feel I have to feel very full in order to feel calm.

This behavior is so detrimental to my health and I know it. It's also disgusting. I had a massive heart attack a year and a half ago due to a blockage. You'd think I'd stay away from all that cholesterol.

I don't understand myself. Perhaps it's a food addiction.

Thanks for listening.

I've no idea why I do it either. It's really disgusting and I've got to stop before I have another heart attack and ruin the hard work I've done.

Replies

  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Do you possibly have a problem with anxiety? I know when I am anxious I usually run to have food because it used to "calm" me even though now I know that isn't good for me.
  • jhloves2knit
    jhloves2knit Posts: 268 Member
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    I think you need to see a therapist. It doesn't make sense that you'd eat a lot when you're not hungry and can't taste anything. It sounds very close to an eating disorder. As you said, you're endangering your health and your life. It's something you can't figure out, so please seek professional help. Your doctor might be able to give you a referral.
  • grentea
    grentea Posts: 96 Member
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    That sounds like a difficult habit to have. It is good that you are getting it out there. I would second the advice of seeing a therapist or even trying a self help group. You have established that this is unhealthy and you already have some health risks. A therapist can help you explore some healthy coping strategies. You are on this site and that is progress.

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