Dear Belly

soapyapples
soapyapples Posts: 18
edited February 4 in Motivation and Support
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Dear Belly,

First, I'd like to take a moment to thank you. If it weren't for you I'd probably would have never had the motivation to give up fast food and soda in college, then last November to get over my fear of the gym, and lastly for motivating me this time to buy a food scale and learn what an actual appropriate serving size is.

However, I'm here to say that your protruding bulbousness causes me some rather irksome moments. You impede my seat beat, dictate the rise of my jeans, and limit me to empire waist and fit & flare dresses. You decide what shirt I wear for the day. The slightly loose fitting t-shirt or the billowing?

Your girth makes me envy anyone with a flat stomach whether they are 115Ib or 215Ib, as long as it doesn't protrude as if they were 3 months pregnant. You'll never provide sustenance to my children, you do not provide me with cushion so that sitting is pleasant, and you certainly don't make dresses drape in an appropriate way as other adipose does. You are my nemesis. With me since puberty resolutely hanging on providing neither form nor function. I'm here to say that the insulation you provide to my intestines is neither needed nor wanted and this is my declaration of war.

I am quite sure you'll hold your own to the very end of this journey. Stick like glue to my midsection, getting slightly smaller with every carrot stick, each 4oz piece of grilled chicken. You see, those are some of my weapons, and they will eventually out perform you. You may have been written into my DNA, but people can change. They can eat smarter and work harder to out smart entities like you. This is one decision of which you have no input and I'm going to win.

In the end I will laugh and skip my way down to the nearest department store for a bikini and celebrate the loss of you with all the pomp of the most splendid holiday.

Please consider this your 8 month eviction notice.

Sincerely,

Your Disgruntled Landlady

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