what are some things that will spice up a relationship

prettigirl01
prettigirl01 Posts: 548 Member
edited February 4 in Chit-Chat
im getting bored in my relationship. when im at home hes at work and vice versa. we only see each other on weekends and even then its tough because I work weekends so by the time I get off, eat dinner its pretty much time for bed. the kids are always around and finding a sitter especially on weekends is damn near impossible...well for him it is. we've been together for about 6 years now on and off. 2 years straight...what things can i do or discuss with him that will make things fun for us given the time we have? sorry i know this isn't a relationship site but i thought i would get some good answers on here

Replies

  • Blondiegrl11
    Blondiegrl11 Posts: 458 Member
    I opted for a divorce, guess I'm no help :ohwell:
  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    Sex. Lots and lots of sex.
  • prettigirl01
    prettigirl01 Posts: 548 Member
    Sex. Lots and lots of sex.

    I agree more than he does...isn't that weird?
  • desertSNOUT
    desertSNOUT Posts: 175
    Have you tried being naughty in different places? Like going out in the middle of nowhere... how about camping?

    There is always the motel/hotel option ;) Change of scenery is always nice, especially if you build up with a day of fun activities.
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    Pursue each other daily in some sort of way
    Schedule a date night even if it's for Starbucks and keep it
    No sitter, schedule a date night after bedtime to at least sit together on the couch and watch a movie, talk, etc
    Text each other a lot throughout the day

    That's all I can think of for now!
  • prettigirl01
    prettigirl01 Posts: 548 Member
    we do text a lot or at least when im at work because I can do it more than he can. as far as going to random places we haven't done that in a few years and those were the things that kept it fun but its like hes aged into this old man who doesn't want to have a good time anymore and its boring me. ive told him this. ill see a change for awhile then he'll go back into sleep mode....so annoying
  • prettigirl01
    prettigirl01 Posts: 548 Member
    Pursue each other daily in some sort of way
    Schedule a date night even if it's for Starbucks and keep it
    No sitter, schedule a date night after bedtime to at least sit together on the couch and watch a movie, talk, etc
    Text each other a lot throughout the day

    That's all I can think of for now!

    these are good
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
    When the kids go to bed, you could create a date night?

    He goes out the door, and knocks, you open the door invite him in for dinner. you don`t need me to give you more from there lol
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    we do text a lot or at least when im at work because I can do it more than he can. as far as going to random places we haven't done that in a few years and those were the things that kept it fun but its like hes aged into this old man who doesn't want to have a good time anymore and its boring me. ive told him this. ill see a change for awhile then he'll go back into sleep mode....so annoying

    Hmm, that can be tricky! Easy to get caught up in other things (people) when one of us is in don't-care mode :-/
    We learned in marriage counseling to pursue each other daily even if it's with sticky notes left in places. You do your part at least. Hopefully he'll be more inspired to do his :smile:
  • notdieting
    notdieting Posts: 116 Member
    It sounds like you are falling out of love....maybe you should tell him before it's too late. Tell him you don't want to lose it but it's heading that way. Tell him he's going to lose you if things don't change. I don't mean threaten him. I mean tell him from your heart.

    Evaluate your own feelings....I genuinely mean no offence but if you have to ask this question on a forum full of strangers, are things already past the point of no return?

    If the answer is yes, say goodbye but if you can look at him honestly and not imagine being without him in your life, then start fighting now.
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    Hand write a love letter and leave it for him when your leaving for work.

    A sticky note with something as simple as "Smile! I love you!"

    On your way home stop and grab flowers. When you get home ring the doorbell or send him a text to open the door. Greet him with the flowers.

    Take a shower together often.

    Make out without going all the way.

    Lay in bed talking about how you feel about your relationship. Face each other and talk to each other about the future and make plans the way you used to when you first got together.

    Make time for each other, and spend time together.

    My husband and I hardly ever had a babysitter. It takes a lot of patients and imagination to make time for each other with kids.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    Sexting each other! It works wonders.:blushing:
  • sola24
    sola24 Posts: 334 Member
    Just make some small little changes in everyday boring tasks.. txt him something romantic out of the blue.. pack him a lunch.. sit on his lap.. write him secret notes n stuff.. dont have sex.. little make outs and teasing the most.. pull him to terrace one night and stargaze when kids are asleep.. and talk.. talk about ur feelings :) *cross fingers* Wish u all the best!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Sexting each other! It works wonders.:blushing:

    I agree with this. Start sexting and sending him dirty pictures.
  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
    Hmm, I would talk to him about your feelings.

    People can grow apart from incompatible schedules, when they just don't have time for each other anymore. If that's how you feel, you should let him know.
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
    I opted for a divorce, guess I'm no help :ohwell:

    Samesies...splitsville. I then suggest finding someone hot and interesting to sext with.
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    If you guys have friends who also have kids, you guys can set up a schedule where couples take turns watching each others kids and take date nights like that. Also, sex.
  • HeyGoRun
    HeyGoRun Posts: 550 Member
    Make him sexy videos or make sexy videos together!
    Take some sexy pictures
    Tell him or write him the things you wanna do to him when you see him again
    Meet eachother some place pretend to be strangers
    Get a makeover!! Change your look change your style!
  • Sylvitryinghard
    Sylvitryinghard Posts: 549 Member
    Sex. Lots and lots of sex.

    yerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
  • Sylvitryinghard
    Sylvitryinghard Posts: 549 Member
    my last was over 10 years and yer its not easy both have to work on it. always. communication is the key.
    get a babysitter for a weekend, plan ahead and book a nice short weekend trip or something like that, go out together, dress up real nice, go dancing, whatever is fun. activities where you have to rely on eachother like a ropes course the kids could join also. go hiking...ask what the partner expects...talk talk talk (in my bedroom I have a "wall tattoo: come here and undress we need to talk) :P
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    this is totally normal, i think most relationships are like this sometimes.

    i would say,
    - cut down on drudgery (housework, etc) - find a way to be more efficient about it or pay someone if that's within your means (not all the time, but if every weekend is full of housework and grind, once in a while it's not a bad idea to catch a break)
    - shorten your commute, same idea
    - find some non-sex-related activities you can do together, so you can have enjoyable shared time with no pressure for sex. (if you have been pressing and he is resentful). anything, softball, whatever, just try to make space for more good times all over, whenever you can. the goal is to see each other as something other than roommates and have fun
    - it's so personal, but, don't make it personal, you know?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    we do text a lot or at least when im at work because I can do it more than he can. as far as going to random places we haven't done that in a few years and those were the things that kept it fun but its like hes aged into this old man who doesn't want to have a good time anymore and its boring me. ive told him this. ill see a change for awhile then he'll go back into sleep mode....so annoying

    does he hate his job?
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Is this guy the father of your children? Because if he is, and you don't have an actual problem with him, you should stay and let him be who he is.

    But what you do need to do, far more than sexting or any of that stuff (that doesn't last) is arrange social events that have him in them. Organise some shared memories. Have an event every week. Advertise at the local high school for a babysitter, and one night a week go out to a pub quiz, or darts, or something. Or maybe one day a week have brunch with the children at a cafe.

    One day you will be seventy and you will not be spectacularly interesting any more yourself. Take the long view. Will you have these schedules forever? Because if he's your life partner then a clashing schedule for five years or so is absolutely neither here nor there.
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