How do you stop "self-sabotaging" weight loss?

kassiebby1124

I've been losing weight for the past year. I'm currently at 196. I started at 269 last year so I'm super proud of my progress. Sadly, I've been stuck in the 190s since January. I was totally excited when I got to 199 but I never exactly..got out of it. The lowest I got was 191 and then I shot back up to 207 the down again. I have a habit of "Self-sabotage." By that I mean, when I see myself getting closer to a goal, I over-indulge (I guess due to new found confidence) and gain back what I lost and then some. It's not really a conscious thing, it just kind of happens in the moment then I feel guilty of it and freak out about how it will affect my weight loss. Also, when I'm doing cardio (never happens when I'm lifting), the little voice telling you to quit is always there. I never know how to push past my limits and I think that is also a form of "self-sabotage." Why don't I want to see myself succeed? I acknowledge that I do this, but how can I deal with or stop this behavior? From people who have been in my shoes, what do you do?

fivethreeone

Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.

kassiebby1124

Stop believing that weight loss is an emotional endeavor.

What do you mean?

nxd10

(I think) she means that you lose weight by persistently and accurately logging. If you keep doing that, you will reach your goal.

That means to keep it up for a long time - which is what it takes to lose a lot of weight - you don't 'reward' yourself as you get closer to goal. You incorporate healthy, enjoyable, pleasurable eating into your life and fit it into your calories. This is your life. Once you hit your goal you' will then have to maintain it. And that means always keeping in mind both portion control, monitoring what you're putting in your mouth, and finding things you love to eat and a way to fit that into the calories you CAN eat without gaining weight.

This is the rest of your life. Enjoy it.

kassiebby1124

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

gigglesinthesun

personally I think it is actually about how you view your food intake. You seem to view it as a diet with tons of restrictions, so you celebrate by eating as much as you want. Perhaps see whether you can change that view, cause even if you were to lose another 70lbs, you would regain it all if you started to eat more then your maintenance calories.

Does it need to be full of restrictions? No, but moderation might be the key. Perhaps it would help if every time you feel the temptation to celebrate only have half. This way you get the taste, but not all of the calories.

Somebody else said in another thread that you can't outrun your fork and I fear he is right. Good luck :-)

fivethreeone

It means you don't have to "feel" something to do it.

Simply do it.

It's not about guilt or motivation or self-rewards. I mean, we're humans and humans deal with those things from time to time. Sure.

But success is not that involved. It's about educating yourself, making a plan, and doing it.

sweetgold

Remember " if you think you can or if you think you can't .... you're right !!"

SkimFlatWhite68

I'm a big fan of "fake it til you make it".

Do what a slim person would do. Follow in someone's steps who has done it. Make a plan and STICK TO IT. Focus on your goal, make a new one and remind yourself WHY you want it.

Don't impose too many rules on yourself and keep a moderate deficit. Perhaps you are restricting yourself too much, and that's why you blow it. If you kept to a moderate deficit all year, perhaps you would have had greater success (I don't know, just guessing)...

Self-sabotage sux. I have done it as well, but you have to kick it to the kerb and MOVE FORWARD!!

Best wishes

missomgitsica

When it comes to pushing yourself, you just have to do it. You just have to keep going. I know it's easier said than done but I've had the same problem . . . and the only answer is to just do it.

If self sabotage continues to be a big issue, see a therapist, because the underlying issues could be more emotion based than you realize.

vanillacoffee

I am commenting to save... I feel EXACTLY the same way, and have stalled since January, and do the same thing.

cj731

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

I know the feeling exactly! A few weeks ago I couldn't seem to drop below 65kgs - hovered between 65.2/65.1 for ages and just couldn't seem to break past that number and into the lower half of the sixties. There was a definite psychological factor - I just couldn't seem to believe that I could actually get beyond that weight, and while I was thrilled with my progress I was a little discouraged that I had stalled. That little voice was telling me I'd done enough and I got a bit lax.
What got me through was continuing to log so I *knew* I was doing the right things to lose, but forcing myself not to weigh for a while. After a few days having a break from the scale and knowing I'd burned enough calories to get me down about half a pound, I braved the scale and there it was, a number in the 64's. Having broken that I've managed to continue and am now in the low end of the 63's.
If you keep doing all the right things that you know you've had success with, but don't allow yourself to see how close you're getting to your goal, you can't really freak out about it and crack and when you know how close you are. Just a suggestion that seemed to have success for me best of luck, you'll get into the 180's soon!

SLLRunner

Simply don't allow yourself to over indulge. Find something else to do and ride it out until the urge passes.

If you want a sweet or something, don't deprive yourself. Have a piece in moderation. It really is okay.

Log in all your food and exercise and work to meet your food and exercise goals. Know what you are doing is living a healthy lifestyle that will be in place for the rest of your life.

pbluberry

When it comes to pushing yourself, you just have to do it. You just have to keep going. I know it's easier said than done but I've had the same problem . . . and the only answer is to just do it.

If self sabotage continues to be a big issue, see a therapist, because the underlying issues could be more emotion based than you realize.

I must agree with you. I use to do the same. I cheated on my diet today so my day is ruin, I will start again tomorrow, next week, next month... that day never comes. Now I just continue on even if I didn't do too well today. I will begin right now and do better today and continue on the right path. Just do it!!!!

kassiebby1124

Thank you all very much. When I first started school, I lost 10lbs (which was a month ago) and gained 5 back. I'll look back and see what I did at the beginning of the semester Thanks so much

TheRealParisLove

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.

sarasmiles124

It means you don't have to "feel" something to do it.

Simply do it.

It's not about guilt or motivation or self-rewards. I mean, we're humans and humans deal with those things from time to time. Sure.

But success is not that involved. It's about educating yourself, making a plan, and doing it.

I need to keep this in mind next time I start to guilt myself and stop myself before I start doing things that will make me guilt myself. Thank you!

kassiebby1124

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.

That is actually a really good idea. I want to do the Warrior Dash next year..

Natihilator

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

I'm sad that at 53lbs. down, you havent figured out how to push past the 'I can't do it' barrier yet.

You can because you did it before. That's all it takes for me, at least.

AntWrig

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

Pick a fitness goal instead of a weight loss goal. Do you want to run a marathon or perfect your high-dive or climb a mountain? Whatever it is, pick a goal and then start working toward that goal. The weight will come off as a result of your efforts.

That is actually a really good idea. I want to do the Warrior Dash next year..

Set smaller goals. Next year is too far away. How about, I will run xx miles this week? I will do 100 push-ups this week.

2spamagnet

Man - you've lost 53 pounds... That's like a bag of cement that you have gotten rid of. That is freaking awesome! If you can do that, you can lose the rest of the weight you want. Update your "Goals" and make sure things are current - if not, you may not be eating in a deficit, but with your weight loss, may be at "maintenance"? Won't hurt to check.

Also what motivates me when I doubt I can finish my workout is to keep in mind why I am doing this in the first place...

Oishii

If there is a mental block, I would recommend beating that block rather than ignoring it, or it may raise its ugly head again and again.

I kept gaining and losing the same weight and someone recommended Fat is a Feminist Issue. The title had always put me off as I thought it would be full of excuses to be fat, but instead it looks into reasons carrying extra weight can be more comfortable than losing it. For example, for some women, feeling safe from male attention is a reason they gain. For example, a drop-dead gorgeous friend of mine yoyo diets and part of this may be tied up in the fact that when she's thinner she gets hit on considerably more and sometimes makes decisions she regrets later. Just carrying a little more weight protects her from this.

I only skim-read FIFI, but it really helped. It's very cheap on Amazon, but there must be modern equivalents too.

Hildy_J

How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?"

The negative voice isn't you... it's just echoes from the past.. other people's voices. When it rears its ugly head tell it 'stfu' and then repeat to yourself: 'Come what may I'm going to do this'.

TheVimFuego

I think my past regains or failures to do as well as I could boiled down to me not believing I deserved it.

A lack of self esteem basically.

That and not tracking, just eating ridiculously low and over exercising.

I think health starts in the mind, if you can get this sorted it makes life easier.

Yeh, calories in/out and all that but that means squat if you are still unsure of who you are and where and what kind of person you want to be.

wingchungym

Thank you. Last question: How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?" I know that it seems like a simple concept, but I keep getting held back because I can't break through mentally..

Personally I have found some motivation on the e webby topdesk thing give this channely a peep:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8eAqNKTMJs&feature=c4-overview&list=UU0ASolYU_Yh3yShLFQC0stg

bridgie101

I've been losing weight for the past year. I'm currently at 196. I started at 269 last year so I'm super proud of my progress. Sadly, I've been stuck in the 190s since January. I was totally excited when I got to 199 but I never exactly..got out of it. The lowest I got was 191 and then I shot back up to 207 the down again. I have a habit of "Self-sabotage." By that I mean, when I see myself getting closer to a goal, I over-indulge (I guess due to new found confidence) and gain back what I lost and then some. It's not really a conscious thing, it just kind of happens in the moment then I feel guilty of it and freak out about how it will affect my weight loss. Also, when I'm doing cardio (never happens when I'm lifting), the little voice telling you to quit is always there. I never know how to push past my limits and I think that is also a form of "self-sabotage." Why don't I want to see myself succeed? I acknowledge that I do this, but how can I deal with or stop this behavior? From people who have been in my shoes, what do you do?

Go window shopping for clothes.

I kid you not. I know the space you're in... you sort of can't care. You want to care, you know you should care.. but you don't.

You know you're being your own worst enemy but you can't seem to wake out of the daze enough to pull finger. Does that sound about right?

Just go window shopping for clothes this weekend, try them all on, see what size you are... there is absolutely nothing like it for waking you up to the size and shape you are, showing you why you are doing this after all.

And if you feel you are looking how you want to look in clothes, buy them. the thrill they give you can get you over the hump and make you feel positive again. Remember: your diet is your journey. Your size is your choice. If you need a staging post at 180lb or something, do it. But maybe try to operate on maintenance when you are not dieting so that you don't actually go backwards.

TheVimFuego

How do you push past the mental barrier that tells you that you "can't?"

The negative voice isn't you... it's just echoes from the past.. other people's voices. When it rears its ugly head tell it 'stfu' and then repeat to yourself: 'Come what may I'm going to do this'.

I would take view there is no past, no future, just right now ... You are not the same person you were and you can choose to be whatever the kind of person you can imagine right now. Just by making good choices one after the other.

sarahj1503

Over a year ago, I was 6lbs away from my goal weight....today I am 14lbs away.
I have no idea why I self sabotage & I would be very interested to find out more about it.
I am scared of being at my goal weight!!! Why?? What would I do then? What would I have to strive for, what would I have to moan about??!! Maintaining is always harder than losing, blah blah blah, so many excuses....I used to have so many "when Im at this weight I will XYZ" stuff going on, that it would daunt me too much.
Of course, when Im at my goal weight, I can always set myself a new goal, or decide then to do something Ive never done before, be less food focussed, be more excercise focussed, or whatever. Maybe just enjoy being there for a while!!

Gee_24

My last 2lbs are really difficult. The more I go on the scale, the more I see little rises every other day so I have decided to do what has been working so far and ditch that scale for a month!!

Carry on logging, carry on doing what got you this far and it WILL happen. Dont let the scale deter you. Have you been measuring too?

stuj019

For me weight loss has always been a constant battle. I started MPF again ! last week and I am happy I have lost weight in my first week, however I know its all about a lifestyle change or my weight will continue just to yo yo from year to year. This time I am taking one day at a time and that way I am changing my lifestyle one day at a time. Its not easy it can be a battle but we can do it. Good Luck !! Keep logging !!

kassiebby1124

God I didn't expect this much feedback. Thank you everyone. As for setting incremental goals, I'm not gonna strive for a size/weight right now. I am gonna try a fitness goal. I think I'm gonna strive to do 30-60 minutes of cardio a day because I always bail on cardio because I'm "too tired" and want to quit when I know I can go so much harder. I used to run a lot until I started lifting weights. I want to start running again. I'm gonna try to run a mile straight, even if it is a slow pace. I just have to know that what I'm doing will work. Thanks so much.