just ignore 'friendly' sabotage?

lessofme43

A dear friend who loves her sweets and whom I used to love loving sweets with seems annoyed that I pass them up more often than not now. I don't mind if she wants to indulge, but she is annoyed that I won't join her and always makes some kind of remark about it. I treasure her friendship too much to make this issue a deal-breaker, but do I say something about it or let it slide and hope one day it doesn't happen anymore?

whierd

It isn't sabotage, it is something you two used to enjoy and bond over. Just let it slide.

MyChocolateDiet

this is not sabotage. sabotage is an intentional act meant to derail u from ur efforts. google it. its important you get this clearly defined so hou dont let a good friendship sour over misunderstandings. is it possible you could find room in your cals to eat half a treat whenbshe eats hers. or u could bake one with cal amounts that are good for ur goals?

dont go all crazy and try to invite her on your exercises or mke her eat cauliflower muffins with you this will only perturb and disgust her. just find a way to stay connected be it shopping or spa days together or adjusting ur diet for indulgences together. starbucks has vanilla scones for only a little over 100 cals.

frommetobetterme

Is the problem that you don't eat with her or that you don't go our with her to eat?

Phrased in another way, do you still spend as much time with her as when you use to love your sweets together? If not, maybe it's more of a closeness... losing touch issue than a food issue.

If it's that you don't spend as much time together, maybe go out with her but have something less caloric so she doesn't feel like she's eating alone (if this is going out to a coffee shop or something like that), or do more things at home together, or encourage her to try different things with you so that you can re-bond over things other than food.

lessofme43

thank you for straightening me out on the sabotage issue. I don't like the feeling that I have to defend my choices to anyone, whether I choose to indulge at a dinner out, or choose to limit myself. I've done both with her, so I'm not sure how to read her jabs at me, or the letting me know that she's made something sinfully delicious she wants me to enjoy with her. The last thing I want to do is say or do something to make someone feel guilty about their food choices, or 'make her eat cauliflower muffins' (good one:laugh: ) because it has to be about what YOU are doing for YOU and what I am doing for ME. Thanks for the encouragement to build our friendship around something other than food, I will try to keep that in mind.