EDNOS Recovery, where to start? Help!

captainchamp

I'm tired of letting this rule my life. I need to change.
I haven't been severely restricting for this past month and have gained five pounds and it is absolutely killing me.
I started drinking to deal with it but it made things worse and this past Saturday, things got out of hand.
It has made me realize that enough is enough.
I need to re-learn how to eat and I need to be okay with it.
I don't even know where to start.

I need to eat, but not binge.
I need to eat and be okay with it and not want to use negative coping mechanisms to deal with the guilt and regret I feel afterward.
I need to learn how to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full.
I need to learn to feel hungry again.
I need help.

But I don't have a doctor I can see, I don't have a therapist anymore either.
I'm on my own.

soupandcookies

I'm tired of letting this rule my life. I need to change.
I haven't been severely restricting for this past month and have gained five pounds and it is absolutely killing me.
I started drinking to deal with it but it made things worse and this past Saturday, things got out of hand.
It has made me realize that enough is enough.
I need to re-learn how to eat and I need to be okay with it.
I don't even know where to start.

I need to eat, but not binge.
I need to eat and be okay with it and not want to use negative coping mechanisms to deal with the guilt and regret I feel afterward.
I need to learn how to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full.
I need to learn to feel hungry again.
I need help.

But I don't have a doctor I can see, I don't have a therapist anymore either.
I'm on my own.

I really commend you for showing readiness for recovery! As I'm sure you know, it is very hard to recover on your own. I would really encourage you to find a doctor or therapist. Do you have insurance? I know you said you are on your own, but does it have to be that way? I think that most people with eating disorders know what they have to do, but taking action, and changing the thoughts and behaviors, is what proves to be so challenging. When struggling with an eating disorder, one loses the understanding of what is normal, when it comes to eating. We can support you, but we can't give medical advice, and EDNOS is a medical condition. One thing I would really encourage you to do, is NOT get caught up in calories, or get caught up in compulsively logging your food intake. Sometimes that can feed the obsession. That's just my opinion, though. I know others may disagree. I just feel that anything that keeps the focus on weight, calories, or food, just feeds the disorder. I hope you will find a way to treat your body with love and respect. Recovery is possible, with a lot of hard work and discipline. We are here for you!

captainchamp

I'm pretty sure my insurance wouldn't cover much. I looked into a clinic close to me and the fees were very high. My parents have no idea so I'm not sure how it would work, going through insurance, because they would find out some way or another and want to know why I went to the doctor. My family doctor is no help either, I'm sure he's clueless about this stuff.

soupandcookies

Are you a student? There may be counseling options through your school. I encourage you to talk to your parents about this, if you think they will support you in getting help. I'm sure it's scary to consider telling them, but I'm sure they would want you to be healthy and happy. Eating disorders are no joke. They are mental illnesses that require professional support (much of the time). Please be good to yourself, and find a way to get help. Best of luck!

Pearsquared

If there is no way to seek a professional counselor, I encourage you to seek out other ED recovery groups online for support. Based on how you mentioned that gaining five pounds is killing you, MFP may not be a healthy avenue for support.