Goal Line Dilemma

joyfuljoy65

I shrieked like a little girly in the bathroom this morning as that last pesky pound finally disappeared, and I saw a number on the scale that I have not seen since before my children were born (my oldest is 25!). My goal was 12 stone (168lb) and this morning I weigh 11 stone 13.5lb! I should indeed be ecstatic - so what is my dilemma?

My goal weight was chosen back when I was 16 stone 10.5lb - it was almost an impossible goal, but as it was just in the healthy range of BMI for my height (5'9") I thought it would be a suitable one. I had mini goals of half stones as I lost, but 12 stone was always that elusive final goal - which to be honest - I never thought I would actually achieve!

Now I am here. And after the initial joy at reaching it, my next thought was - hey you are only 3lbs away from 5 stone loss - keep going?!

I have been called obsessive about my weight loss by work colleagues, and have always said that I was not, I was just going to work hard to get to my goal. The fact that my second thought after getting there was shall I continue makes me wonder if I am obsessed with losing weight? Its not like I am anywhere near underweight!! But I should be more happy about getting here than I feel right now.

And to be even more honest, the thought of maintenance scares me! My husband has been on maintenance for a few months and he fluctuates about 6lbs up and down around his goal weight. He looks fantastic. We have been doing MFP together for nearly 400 days - we know about portions now, and what foods we should only treat ourselves too. But he has never had that unhealthy relationship with food that I have had - I still comfort eat - not to the extent I used to - but its still there lurking under the skin. For the last few days, maintenance has been on my mind and I was wondering how I will cope when I get there.

So my dilemma is: to go on maintenance - slowly - i.e. up a 100 calories every few days until get to a level where I don't put on (and keep it on); to keep going to lose 5 stone as this will also give me a buffer of a few pounds; to start eating at TDEE from today and see what happens.

Sigh - I sometimes wish I could just enjoy the achievements I have made rather than worry about the next step!!

TavistockToad

dont go from a deficit to TDEE in one day... work up slowly over a few weeks...

in your whole post you dont mention whether you are happy with your body now, you just say you reached that goal weight... maybe focus on some fitness goals and how you feel rather than just a number?

lucan07

Don't rush into it accept your victory and take a while to adjust and decide on whether you are happy or not.


Well done!

joyfuljoy65

I am happy with the weight loss - going from a size 20 to a size 12 has also been fantastic. I still have body image issues - sometimes I look in the mirror and think - have I changed?! But I have read many other posts on here with the same problem so I know that its not just me. So yes I am happy with my body - I would be happier with less saggy skin on my tummy - but part of that is the horrendous stretch marks from three pregnancies so I am not expecting miracles!!!!!

Thank you for the advice

gigglesinthesun

did you find eating less very hard? If you can live with it, I personally would keep going, because of the fluctuations. You could have a smaller deficit and maybe aim at just a pound a month or something, so not super stressful, but still moving towards the 5st loss

Bella_Figura

This is a difficult one Joy!

I know that when I started out, my original goal was to get to 60kg, as that was a BMI of 24.9. At the time, 60kg seemed almost impossible as it meant losing 40kg (and 40% of my total overall bodyweight). However, now that I'm approaching 60kg (I'm currently 61.2kg) I realise that I need to go lower than that...to maybe as low as 54kg or even 52kg.

Personally, I don't think this reflects an obsessiveness about losing weight on my part. Rather, it reflects my realisation that, having come so far, I don't want to leave the job partly unfinished. Whilst I'm thrilled to bits about finally being a UK size 10/12, and I know I look the best - in clothes - than I've looked my entire adult life, I'm also aware that I still have fat around my midriff, which I can't kid myself is just loose/flabby skin. There is definitely still tummy fat lurking beneath that flabby skin which I want to get rid of (even if it means the skin is even flabbier when I've finished!!!). People see me in clothes and think the job is done and admonish me about wanting to lose "even more"...but I see the muffin top under the clothes, and I want to finish the job...

So, I guess I'm saying you should stop when you feel you've finished the job. Maybe, for you, that will mean you're there and you can start the transition into maintenance (albeit I'd do that gradually, over a few weeks, rather than hitting TDEE overnight).

But, on the other hand, don't feel pressured into stopping too soon. Don't let BMI charts and comments from people at work make you give up before the job is finished if you don't really believe in your heart that it is. To clarify, I'm not advocating anorexia here!!! But you're the best person to decide if you're "there" yet...and if you're not, then you should keep on plugging away until you reach that point.

Whatever you decide, I think you should certainly celebrate how far you've come and give yourself a hearty pat on the back...you have achieved something amazing, and you should feel jolly proud of yourself!!!