I feel rather selfish and not sure what to do

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doc19822
doc19822 Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been given over wehlming support in the asking to be friends, and little notes in ym in box. But now I have so many I want to give back to, it seems like the original nites that are sent with friend request are deleted as soon as you accept. I feel like I am letting folks slip through the cracks, after they were so nice to me. Maybe it is sjut another reason I need to hate myself. Not that I nee dmany..I jsut feel like a selfish twit
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Replies

  • Kadoober
    Kadoober Posts: 289 Member
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    Hey Michael... stop that!
    Sometimes... it's ok to receive and not give back.
    Life balances out.
    Keep working on you, that's the most important thing right now.
    :)
  • AmykinsCatfood
    AmykinsCatfood Posts: 599 Member
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    That's a flaw with my fitness pal, not you. Don't let something like that de-rail your confidence when it isn't even your fault. All of those people just want to see you get healthy and be happy! They'll be fine without a response to their message as long as you're ok :)
  • SHRINKINGG1
    SHRINKINGG1 Posts: 48 Member
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    You can always go to your news feed or friends list and send some support out.
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
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    That's a flaw with my fitness pal, not you. Don't let something like that de-rail your confidence when it isn't even your fault. All of those people just want to see you get healthy and be happy! They'll be fine without a response to their message as long as you're ok :)

    This
  • prettigirl01
    prettigirl01 Posts: 548 Member
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    hey Michael I sent you a message a little while back. it wasn't much but im just hoping you read it and it put some kind of smile on your face. im pretty good at doing stuff like that. I still wish you well in your weight loss journey because I know you can do it. if you couldn't you wouldn't still be here. smile:-) youre a sweet man and I hope you get that midway ride with your daughter soon
  • 1princesswarrior
    1princesswarrior Posts: 1,242 Member
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    Michael, I don't expect anything from you. I just hope by reading my daily news feed, seeing the upa and downs and my diary if you wish that I can somehow help and motivate you.

    And you better believe if at any time you post your exercise burns or questions or forums I will be here to try and support you the best I can. Someday when I see your before and after pictures and hear about all of the wonderful things you are doing with your daughter is all I need.
  • somerisagirlsname
    somerisagirlsname Posts: 467 Member
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    Right now, everyone who is adding you is doing so to be a support system for you. They don't even have themselves on their mind(s). So don't worry if you can't reciprocate kudos or congratulations yet, you need to focus on you! And us being able to watch your transformation is all the reward that we need.
  • dawn72467
    dawn72467 Posts: 11
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    It's all good ; } As long as you stick with it we will be happy. I know it is sometimes had to reply back or to help motivate someone else when you are trying to stay motivated yourself. I hope all is well with you and that you are finding each day the slightest bit easier. It WILL get easier I promise. I find it had to give advice most of the time because I feel like I am still trying to figure all this out, but when I see/hear people like you trying to get it done I know I can. I have been doing this for a few months now and it has gotten a little easier for me. Friend support you whether or not you can reply back. We think about you and how you are doing and only hope for the best for you. Just work on yourself, and when you get the time and/or the confidence to get out here and cheer others on you will know you are well on your way. Just post us a know once in a while to let us know you are still with us and that's all anyone can really ask of you right now. Good luck buddy...You got this ; }
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    Just keep logging in and taking care of yourself. No need to give back. It's nice to know people care even when you've never met them :)
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    i got a lot of awesome friends....too many in fact. I can't keep up with all of them.

    But I try. And I do my best.

    I hope that they realize I'm always there should they need me, and that I will always listen. And I think, for the most part they do.

    If i'm not providing enough support, and they need to drop me, i have no hard feelings. not for them dropping me. I may feel sad that they needed more from me than I could give. but as I said. I do my best.

    don't beat yourself up, just do the best you can. everything else balances out.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Read their comment...then after you friend them either message them or thank them on their profile page.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    There are lots of really awesome people on this site. You just can't be friends with them all. No need to feel guilty about that.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I saw your original thread and I don't really have any words of wisdom, so I didn't respond.

    But this one I do: Stop! Sometimes it's OK to just take. Sometimes you need that. People understand and most of us give without expecting anything in return, especially in this situation. I really hope you can pull yourself together and get to a better place.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Don't be so hard on yourself! I never respond to notes sent with friend requests! Most of the time it's just people letting you know why they sent it to you and even if it includes a nice compliment, I figure my acceptance of their request is the same as saying "that was nice, thanks".

    While I enjoy the message board, the whole FB-like set up of the home page doesn't appeal to me a whole lot. I try to keep up but usually only spend a few minutes of my day doing so, IF I feel like it. And I have friends who NEVER comment on my posts but it doesn't hurt my feelings at all. They do what they need to do and I'll do what I need to do.

    If you're overwhelmed, maybe stop accepting friend requests so you can keep your list manageable.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    i got a lot of awesome friends....too many in fact. I can't keep up with all of them.

    But I try. And I do my best.

    I hope that they realize I'm always there should they need me, and that I will always listen. And I think, for the most part they do.

    If i'm not providing enough support, and they need to drop me, i have no hard feelings. not for them dropping me. I may feel sad that they needed more from me than I could give. but as I said. I do my best.

    don't beat yourself up, just do the best you can. everything else balances out.

    I can't quit you!!

    Funny-gif-cat-hugging-plush-toy.gif
  • gabbygirl78
    gabbygirl78 Posts: 936 Member
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    I have been given over wehlming support in the asking to be friends, and little notes in ym in box. But now I have so many I want to give back to, it seems like the original nites that are sent with friend request are deleted as soon as you accept. I feel like I am letting folks slip through the cracks, after they were so nice to me. Maybe it is sjut another reason I need to hate myself. Not that I nee dmany..I jsut feel like a selfish twit

    No no no!!! Never hate yourself! It is impossible to do what we feel we NEED to do to thank people or acknowledge their support all the time.... Trust me, we are all here for the same reason and we are not looking for gratitude or acknowledgement We see each others posts and keep each other motivated and that is what is important! Seeing you succeed and feel better about yourself is what makes all this worth it!!! Keep your head up and keep moving on toward your goals! Your friends are here to stay and to lift you up when you need it! :flowerforyou:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    i got a lot of awesome friends....too many in fact. I can't keep up with all of them.

    But I try. And I do my best.

    I hope that they realize I'm always there should they need me, and that I will always listen. And I think, for the most part they do.

    If i'm not providing enough support, and they need to drop me, i have no hard feelings. not for them dropping me. I may feel sad that they needed more from me than I could give. but as I said. I do my best.

    don't beat yourself up, just do the best you can. everything else balances out.

    It's true. This girl is an awesome friend, and she is always there when I need her. MUAH!
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
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    I friend requested you because even though it won't be quick or easy, I believe you are a stronger and braver man than you realize. You'll get thru the ups and downs. The only thing I expect in return is for you to check in here and don't give up.
  • theopenforum
    theopenforum Posts: 280 Member
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    take it from a guy that spent his entire life in hatred, you dont want that. I have only started to like myself for a year and a half and this past year has made me happier than the other 26 ever did. I can never forget where I came from, which makes me thankful for where I am headed :)

    Cheers bro,

    Tof
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
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    When I was in my early 30's I decided I needed an excuse to get out of the house and do something. I spent most evenings in front of the TV eating pizza and was essentially vegetating. I was overweight, couldn't keep up with the kids and generally fed up. So I got off my butt and joined the local Aikido club. It was hard - I had trouble moving enough, I was inflexible and I was trying to use muscles that hadn't seen any action for literally years. I only trained once a week, but every week I was stiff and sore from the exercise. I also wasn't prepared for the mental demands that Aikido made of me, but I loved it! It was such a contrast from my work and anything else that I had done, it was invigorating! I was like a sponge, soaking up all the knowledge that my instructors could throw at me.

    Over time, slowly but surely, I improved. I gradually worked through the belts. New students joined, and I was able to help them with what I had learnt and I was still entirely reliant on my instructors.

    I never set out to get the belts, so 10 years later when I was taking my black belt I couldn't believe it. What surprised me even more was that I got it. Then I was invited to join another club in the fraternity and help out, demonstrate techniques, instruct the students. Now I have my second black belt and am taking the class when my senior instructor cannot - this weekend is a case in point.

    And here is my point.... All I did for 12 years was to take from the club and it's instructors. If I had known just how difficult and technical Aikido was at the outset, I would never have started but I used the club for what I needed. It is only now that I am able to put something back, and that is so rewarding for me.

    To reach your goals, I would encourage you to use MFP for everything that you can get out of it. It is a great community where there is always someone to help you when you are stuck, pick you up when you are down and cheer you on when you succeed. Don't be ashamed or embarrased by this - when you have succeed you will be able to return the gesture to those that need it.

    Just don't ever, ever give up.

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