Desperately seeking support !!

turin

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Really badly desperately seeking support ....

I started out on a high note in the beginning of 2010 with a starting weight of 216 lbs and was able to bring it down by about 11-12 lbs in the course of the first couple of months of 2010. Things were going really well and I was on a roll....till I had to do a foreign trip for a few days and that threw me off course. Since then, things have been pretty much reverting to bad old habits and lifestyle (no exercise, more food, unhealthy food, no tracking)....I have ended up with about 218 lbs...I gained back more than what I had lost.

I am really lost as to how to regain my confidence and make an attempt again. I don't think I could stand one more failed attempt. I am somehow not motivated at all, after having gone down the spiral. I do need some support and ideas from people on this forum to get back on my feet, get engaged and get going once more. I am so worried that I will never really succeed at this.

Please please help !!

Best regards,

Turin

smilhet

You can do it--start over what is 1 more time--that is what I tell myself--I have been doing this since May and have only lost 14 pounds and I have alot more to go--and I have my sons wedding in about 12 weeks so I will never get to where I want to be BUT i KEEP TELLING MYSELF NOT TO QUIT---even if I lose 20 pounds that will be better than nothing!!and when I have a bad weekend i get so upset but i start again and know even after the wedding I will keep doing this because I want it for me!!!SO want it for YOU!!and keep trying--I know how hard it is to lose 2 pounds go out to eat on the weekend and gain 3 punds but I start again and knowing other people are trying again and again gives me the courage to keep going---so you can do it ---you can do it!!!have faith and start again---GOOD LUCK!!!

borgi77

My biggest advice tips are

1 - Don't look to the past look to the future we beat ourselves up way to much over failing at the end of the day you tried and life has it's up and down
2 - Start right now today not tomorrow as tomorrow never comes, I use to always say I will do it tomorrow. start it tomorrow and then I would find that it just never comes
3 - Use this site to get support, add friends, encourage your friends family to help you, be accountable so add all the food you eat here to see if your over eating etc
4 - Make time for you and do at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, it gives your a stress relief, you feel better and helps you lose weight!

Good luck

Cricket67

Borgi, Thanks for sharing. I like those tips and I will use them as well. Good Luck Desperately and know you can always find support here.

Nina74

Agreed. Look forward, not back. Try not to beat yourself up, start with small changes & finally make a commitment to yourself. Work, people, all of those things will be there. Now you need to take care of you. This site is great & lots of support & knowledgable people.

Best of luck!

SouthernBell86

Hi,
I feel like I can really relate, because I have been down that road. In fact my last and biggest "fail" took me a couple years to recover from and get things together to get back on track. I really hope it doesn't take you that long so I will share some things that have helped me.

First of all, I decided that one reason leaving the diet and staying off was more attractive than staying on it was that I always felt deprived while I was dieting. So once I finally realized that, I recognized that for a diet to work for me, no food or drink can be truly off limits. Working within the allotted calories does mean I have to limit how much and how often I have certain things, but they are still available. Plus I have given my self to cheat and once in a while, like two or three times a month, and go slightly over my calorie limit.
Maybe for you it is different, but maybe there is some other bad emotion or feeling you struggled with while on the diet that you are finding it hard to return to. If you can figure out what that was and how to get around that feeling, you will probably be able to enjoy your diet more! It sounds like cheating for a little while really messed up your whole diet, so you may need to allow yourself more grace this time!
Another thing is that you need to be real with yourself about how badly you want this and why. If it is something that you feel you absolutely must have, for the rest of your life, so you can really experience it, then get patient and learn to enjoy doing things with your body as it already is.

Several years ago on my diet when I lost a lot of weight, I was actually at what my goal weight is now. At the time I just couldn't see it though, or appreciate that I was already THERE! I still felt fat and ugly and frustrated with myself. So this time around I have been having talks with myself about appreciating all the things I currently can do, and feeling good about it even though it may be overweight. I have a confidence in my body at 230 pounds I never had at 140, and I really believe it is this confidence that my 230 pound body is going to be able to do what my 140 pound one couldn't - get stuck on a diet for the long haul.

I learned a lot of that from reading the testimonies of people who had lost half their body weight in People magazine. Most of them seemed to have this mental transformation prior to starting the diet in common. They decided that even if all they could do at first was walk to their mailbox and back everyday, they were going to do it until they could do it twice one day. They had a fire and desire to do it that came from themselves and not those around them.

Well, I hope this helps you, or someone else. I really do feel that a lot of the battle of a diet goes on in your mind, so if your mind is unhappy on the diet it won't last. Get happy to get fit! Not the other way around!

missjo113

I've started over many many times. try starting again by just tracking everything you eat... don't worry about the calories... if you end up eating more than your daily allotment, at least you'll know. It may just be the wakeup call you've been looking for. And MFP makes it so easy... you can track on your phone, or on your computer.

Another thing I've done is gone shopping and bought something that I LOVE but in size that's a little too small. Hang it at the front of your closet and try it on every now and then. It's aGEAT feeling when you can finally get into it and actually wear it somewhere!

Good luck! You can do it!

turin

Thanks all for your wonderful responses !!

What do you all feel about goals : do you think it makes sense to have less ambitious goals to start with? At present, I am planning to reduce about 2 lbs a week. Do you think 1 lb per week would instead be more achievable and put me on the success path?

Nina74

I currently go with a goal of 1.5 lbs a week. I've lost 18.4 in 12 weeks, which puts me at exactly 1.5/week. Ironically, some weeks I have lost more than 1.5 and some weeks much less. If I go to 2 lbs a week, I'm hungry all of the time because of the fewer calories.

pange

My husband has needed and tried to lose weight for years, and the only thing that has worked for him is training for a marathon. So I recommend setting an exercise goal like that. He's motivated to run, and the running somehow keeps him from eating the wrong foods. So if you like or at least don't mind running, try training for a 5K, then a quarter marathon, then half, etc.

Angiepackmom4

Hello Turin. My advice would be to join a TOPs group. I lost 50 pounds 4 years ago and have only regained around 10 pounds back over the course of the 4 years. I truly believe if I wasn't weighing in every Tuesday (which makes me accountable) for the last 4 years, I would have gained all of my weight back. If you are interested in joining I can give you more information on it. There are many TOPs groups all over the US so I am sure there is one available near you to join.