Criticism

HardcoreP0rk

Thanks for that.

Everybody has their own style, and I think that's ok. I love my trainers that tell me "great job!" at the end of my workout and sound eager to work with me again next time. That makes me feel encouraged to work harder between now and then. I took ground school with a couple of different instructors, and I would have hated to be up in the plane with the woman. Her style of correction would have discouraged me and made me give up. I have gone riding with a woman whose riding lessons I would have hated for the same reason. Some people improve best from soft guidance; others are not discouraged by blunter guidance and benefit more from that.

I don't think that recognizing your individual style of learning and seeking that out while avoiding the kind you find demotivational is a bad thing. I think personal growth and progress are more important. (Would it be ideal if that personal growth entailed learning to take other kinds of feedback? Sure, but that's not where everybody is, and to borrow a page from yoga, just invite your practice to meet you wherever you are.)

Good comments here, but I think you might be missing the point. It's always best to surround yourself with people that will help you grow in a positive direction, and to your point, avoid the teaching styles that aren't productive for you.

However, I think the OP's point is that it's HEALTHY to objectively analyze ALL criticism and work to apply it when it makes sense. That way, when you inevitably deal with criticism that doesnt suit your particular style, you can process it in an objective, rational way instead of reacting emotionally.

YouMadBro8281

It's a good thing I'm perfect.

mikeykhan2003

I'm a big fan of critical feed back. I do not believe everyone that casually comes across my path should be allowed to provide that feedback for me, because in most cases they lack the perspective to understand what I'm currently improving.

I do a decent job of separating my reaction to negative feedback from the value of it, which is good because many people I've known have a tendency to approach all feedback delivery as adversarial; which is both unnecessary and unproductive.

ninerbuff

Criticize away. It's the only way I learn.

When I go to boxing class... I don't expect my instructor to pat me on my shoulder and say "good job"

I expect him to look at my form, and tell me what I'm doing wrong. That way I can work on getting better.

Period.

and there is nothing wrong with that. I recently learnt how to ride a bike and the instructor corrected me when i was making mistakes. no problem. But when i was learning how to drive a car many years ago, the instructor was just plain rude, comments like your driving is like the rain. It was just unprofessional. How is that supposed to help me, it didnt it just put me off. Found another instructor who corrected me but in a friendlier manner.

Question then. If you really love your job, but get a boss who was like that instructor , would you quit? If that boss' was hired because their technique (harsh rude criticism) worked, you'd let that stop you from keeping your job?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I am quite a sensitive sole and hate confrontration but i would then have to take my boss aside and see if we could sort it out somehow. If after the discussion with the boss it didnt stop and i couldnt find a new job, then i would have to carry on but they wouldnt get the best out of me at all. This type of situation doesnt work well with me.

I have worked with someone in the past who was just so rude to us all. So i took a deep breathe and said that if he ever spoke to me in this way again i would report him, and luckily it stopped. He just moved on to i guess his next victim.

I still accept though i have to be critised and, once I make a mistake I try not to make it again.

So you can take criticism, but prefer a more positive approach. That's good. IMO, the best way to keep criticism low on the job is just to meet expectations. If that's done, then there really can't be any complaints. If one comes up that wasn't discussed as an expectation, then you'd have a strong argument for just being picked on.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

It's important to accept criticism in some areas, however it's also important, if you're working with people to help them lose weight or improve their fitness, to understand that some people will not respond well to criticism. No one is perfect, and it's your job to be effective with people, as they are, not as you wish they were.

Just like people can be taught to accept a lifestyle change, they also can be taught to accept criticism. If I was all about "hey good job", "you're doing great" just to pacify them, I'm NOT being effective if they really aren't. Being a "yes" man is easy. Being truthful (but in a professional way and tactful) takes a certain personality. I'm a tough love guy and haven't yet had a client quit because I was too hard on them. Most understand that they may not be able to get it done themselves and expect some corrective feedback so it's not too hard to be up front with them.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

ninerbuff

Thanks for that.

Everybody has their own style, and I think that's ok. I love my trainers that tell me "great job!" at the end of my workout and sound eager to work with me again next time. That makes me feel encouraged to work harder between now and then. I took ground school with a couple of different instructors, and I would have hated to be up in the plane with the woman. Her style of correction would have discouraged me and made me give up. I have gone riding with a woman whose riding lessons I would have hated for the same reason. Some people improve best from soft guidance; others are not discouraged by blunter guidance and benefit more from that.

I don't think that recognizing your individual style of learning and seeking that out while avoiding the kind you find demotivational is a bad thing. I think personal growth and progress are more important. (Would it be ideal if that personal growth entailed learning to take other kinds of feedback? Sure, but that's not where everybody is, and to borrow a page from yoga, just invite your practice to meet you wherever you are.)

Good comments here, but I think you might be missing the point. It's always best to surround yourself with people that will help you grow in a positive direction, and to your point, avoid the teaching styles that aren't productive for you.

However, I think the OP's point is that it's HEALTHY to objectively analyze ALL criticism and work to apply it when it makes sense. That way, when you inevitably deal with criticism that doesnt suit your particular style, you can process it in an objective, rational way instead of reacting emotionally.

Exactly my point.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

wild_wild_life

This will turn into a shirtshow, I'm sure, but...

Criticism is a whole *field.* Criticism includes both noting strengths and noting weaknesses. People have turned "critical" into pure negativity, but that's not actually what criticism has been. Oscar Wilde and Matthew Arnold and Alexander Pope weren't just *kitten* sitting at home--they were practicing an art. Criticism was consider it's own form of art, because it took skill and knowledge.

Even today--when you read a "A" or "5 star" rating of a movie or book or restaurant... that's CRITICISM. That is someone being critical--they just found whatever it was to be positive. It's bizarre how criticism or critical means "bad" to people... it isn't a bad thing. "Constructive" is a redundant adjective to describe criticism, because true criticism is instructive. Just because you didn't want to be informed that your form was bad, or eating 200 calories a day was not the best way to meet your goals, etc... if it's valid information, it's criticism.

Taken from Wikipedia: To criticize does not necessarily imply "to find fault", but the word is often taken to mean the simple expression of an objection against prejudice, or a disapproval. Often criticism involves active disagreement, but it may only mean "taking sides". It could just be an exploration of the different sides of an issue. Fighting is not necessarily involved.

Boy, if only that could apply here on good ol' MFP.

This is a good point. I'm not sure the OP is using the term 'criticism' in this way.

It is possible to offer suggestions and advice in a way that shows your intent to help, and it's possible to do it in a way that shows an intent to diminish the other person. The burden should not be wholly on the person on the receiving end to accept criticism without being defensive, it should also be on the person giving the criticism to do it in a skillful way. I mean, you don't have to, but you're more likely to be wasting your time otherwise.

ETA that I totally agree that people should not take it personally. It's just that . . . they do.

Via_14

The majority of people in the world aren't accepting of criticism. When criticized, many take a defensive stance and are usually angered or displeased from objective/subjective opinions. Some get emotionally bent out of shape because they believe it's a personal attack against them (and sometimes it is).
I'm telling you that it could be one of the best tools for self improvement. Instead of being defensive about it, hear it out, analyze it, and if it's legitimately something you could improve on, then do it. Seeing yourself through others eyes can be help one achieve and not always fall back.
Understand that some will be harsh, rude and mean with their criticism, some will be polite, and some will be brutally honest, but whatever the case, don't take it personally. Take it on as another challenge.

Have a great weekend.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Ah tough love/criticism, used to it now.

Initially it was emotionally tolling but now I just filter out the point of the conversation and improve that area.

lithezebra

I get more out of mindful encouragement than I do out of criticism. I think that it's a lot easier for people to point out what is wrong, without knowing how to fix it, than it is for people to point the way to improvement. (Just because someone tells me that I'm not good at something doesn't mean that I know how to fix it either).

Sooooo, I try to deliver concrete, applicable, practical ideas for improvement rather than criticism. I can't say that my advice is perfect, that most people follow it, or that some people wouldn't prefer unfiltered criticism, but that's my take on teaching.