How a lifestyle change is like a balance beam...

girlruns

Many questions are posted on this site about the good, bad, & ugly of changing our habits. And while many of us take different paths to reach our goals, there is an overwhelming consensus that this journey we are all on is for life, not just for bikini season. While that is an amazing attitude, I personally have found the balancing act of healthy lifestyle and life to be tricky at best, downright treacherous at worst. Here is what I mean:

My personal journey began mid January, and as of my official Monday weigh in, I am down just under 30 pounds from my highest weight ever. While that is decent progress, I know it could have come off faster had I avoided certain habits or cheat days, took fewer days off from exercising, etc. But part of my rationalizing has always been that since I'm not going to give up pizza or eating out, why would I eliminate them while trying to lose weight? I'm sure others would take a different opinion, but hey, I'm 30 pounds down and feeling great!

Despite all of that, I still struggle with relaxing my standards or accepting a cheat day when I am "on" my game. Last week, I marked out a 15 week plan to lose the last 15 pounds. It plays out that I would hit my goal weight on November 1st. Meanwhile, I will be starting a training plan for a 1/2 marathon, which will then lead to a full marathon. I figure that since I am working on vanity pounds, it is time to start some new goals, and running has always been a passion of mine. I finally feel ready to tackle these races that I've only completed once before-4 years ago-20 pounds heavier. Again, all well and good, but since putting myself into this plan for 15 weeks, I've been struggling more mentally.

The first week was great. I hit my workouts, I ate as well as I could with the food I had on hand, and I lost over 2 pounds! Monday rolls around and I'm feeling bloated and gross because I've been out of produce for a few days. Tuesday is a ball game with my parents where they bring fried chicken and it is dollar beer day. Wednesday, I'm crabby so I order pizza. I finally go grocery shopping and feel great all day Thursday. Surprisingly, despite the less than stellar eating, my daily weigh ins have been good.

Now here is the problem. Tonight I am going out to a fireman's picnic. It is an annual outing with a big group of friends and always features copious amounts of booze. I have been panicking all week that as I struggle each day, I'll feel all control slip away as I imbibe and then be depressed at the number on the scale Monday. It finally came out to my husband last night when I said "I don't really want to drink, cause then I'll get fat". He told me to shut up. It was not mean, like it sounds, but he sees no need for further weight loss, and is actually jealous of what I've accomplished, so he didn't really want to hear how I'd be the stick in the mud because I might go up a pound for a week.

I'm sure it sounds like we are a bunch of alkys who can't reign it in, but we are in our 20's and only have occasion to drink & party like this a few times a year.

Anyway, I am telling myself that I do still have a lot to learn, and do need to work on better decisions/healthier eating overall. I do need to continue to workout, work hard, and work more. For both my personal pleasure and overall health. However, a bad day or even a bad week, if recognized as such and not turned into habit is not only fun, but a good release. I know if I were at my goal weight and I say I'd gained a pound or two, I'd just adjust things for a bit and be back on track. Sometimes it is hard to think that way when there is still a ways to go to that point.

I know this is long and a little rambling, but I wanted to get it out there to not only have the support of all of you awesome people, but to remind others that we all struggle on our journey, but we have to keep on it. Thanks for listening!

bluiz13

you are exactly right in that you are making a change for the rest of your life...if you are not willing to give up the things you love FOREVER, why would you do it while trying to get to where you want to go....you wont give up pizza or whatever else you listed in your post, so why wouldnt you drink tonight at the picnic....skinny people drink and eat the things they love, they just adjust the other days to make up for the splurge!!!!

i hear all those stupid fit models and actresses talk about how they love pizza and chips and margaritas and then they work harder to balance it all out with exercise and food all the other days.....i think the "slipping" you did earlier this week is more of a hazard than the potential for gain from tonight.....this is a planned event, you know before hand you have to modify your "week" in order to fit it in.....the days earlier this week were not planned and therefore you still need to work on making better choices to fit them into your schedule...dont eat badly due to emotion or lack of "good" foods, make sure you always have good choice available and find something else to do instead of each ****ty on ****ty days....i know i know easier said than done but this is why it is a journey for those that really truly want to change their lives....

this is not a diet...this is not to get 50 or 100 or even the last 15 lbs off....this is for life and you have to live your life....so enjoy the picnic, maybe have 2-4 drinks instead of 6-10 (or whatever you would normally) and maybe choose a lighter drink and lighter foods but most of all ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!

frogmommy

I have struggled with being slightly overweight most of my life. Any weight I ever lost for a "certain event" (beginning college, wedding (mine or girlfriends'), after my childrens' births, a class reunion, etc) did not stay completely off once the event was over. I think many people face those same challenges. This time is different for me ~ I am not on this journey for an event. The 30 pounds (only 20 to go) I want to lose is for me and only me this time. The weight is coming off slowly because I enjoy eating (and yes, drinking great beer). But it is coming off and I am learning lifestyle changes along the way.

A suggestion for your weekend. Eat, drink and be merry for one day. Enjoy it. Record it without guilt and go on! Skip your weigh in on this particular Monday but give yourself an extra 15 minutes of cardio each day next week. I suspect your scale will still be your friend in 10 days!

marciml

I completely agree with you. This is a life style change. Some days we get to be crazy and eat whatever we want, but we have an ultimate goal. We always keep in mind that goal, even when we are not really doing what is best to reach it. I think that is what will keep us on track. Remember that goal weight. If you take a week off, or an evening off, do what is right at the time, but GET BACK ON TRACK as soon as you are able and keep working towards that goal. We are not trying to punish ourselved by bettering our health and our appearance. We are rewarding ourselves for working hard and smart. We get cute new clothes and feel so blessed with a peice of cake.

I find it so strangehow difficult it is for others to accept our triumphs. I think you are right about the jealousy. What is up with that? My fiance and I have both lost over 60lbs this past year and we did it completely differently. I have been following a specific food plan and he just cut down what he eats and eats a ton of fruit. I don't believe in the way he is getting there, so I try to remind him of the vitamins he needs from the foods he's not eating. I jump up and down and screech when I get a great weight loss week. I know is he really happy for me, but then he brings up what he's lost too. I am happy for him, but gosh, he eats whatever he wants, then doesn't eat at all. I have such a hard time saying "great job" to him, when I know he's not necessarily doing this for life. Anyway, sorry I got taken off on a tangent. You just need to remember that you are working on this journey for you. If you want to go out for the party night, go and have a drink. Do what makes you feel comfortable. Ya know if you had one drink, then had some seltzer water or something similar, most people would not even notice that you were not ingesting all of those extra calories. I find that I have to comfort those around me that I am really fine. I do not need that dessert, or that drink. I am fine, content and happy. Now, if I wanted that special treat, I would absolutely have it. Its about what I want, not what they think I want. If you are happy on the plan you are on, then you really are content. Be proud of yoursef for staying strong.

You will reach your goal as long as you keep reminding yourself how badly you want it. Best of luck!!

cbirdso

You are making your own Balance Beam, it can be as wide or narrow as YOU choose, no-one can design it for you. Making the beam too narrow means you are going to fall off for sure. During my time on MFP, I am consciencely making habits I can live with the rest of my life. This means sometimes eating chocolate, or drinking alcohol, etc. but realizing that it requires making different habits to offset those choices. (like exercising more and abstaining from empty calories when I can).

However, lifestyles do change over time. Some things that we thought we could never do, now seem easy with practice and changing goals. Slowly, you can narrow the beam if you want. In the meantime, don't be hard on yourself. You can still enjoy life and work toward your goals at the same time.

bluiz13

You are making your own Balance Beam, it can be as wide or narrow as YOU choose, no-one can design it for you. Making the beam too narrow means you are going to fall off for sure.

i love this statement...thanks for pointing this out...each one of us is on a journey, but we each have our own journey even if we have a common meeting place at the end....

thanatos

However, a bad day or even a bad week, if recognized as such and not turned into habit is not only fun, but a good release. I know if I were at my goal weight and I say I'd gained a pound or two, I'd just adjust things for a bit and be back on track. Sometimes it is hard to think that way when there is still a ways to go to that point.

This has been my struggle all my life. I have no problems losing weight. None whatsoever. My problem is once I lose a good chunk of weight, I allow myself to have a couple cheat meals which end-up snowballing into weeks of eating like crap and not exercising. I think its very important to really believe and acknowledge you are making a life-style change and not to beat yourself up over a bad meal or two.

Go ahead and enjoy the day but hit the gym and eat healthy the next. Like when you said you got fried chicken then pizza but then ate healthy the next day. That's perfect. Had a little cheat, but you were right back on it. It seems to me that you have the right mentality - I myself need to get there!