I've never dated...ever!

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2

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  • midnightsolace
    midnightsolace Posts: 2
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    If his reason for not dating you ends up being because you're not as fit as he is, then he's not worth your effort in the first place. Anyway, do you spend any time with him as it is? Some time when you're hanging out, you could just ask him. If you don't want it to be too awkward (and you're afraid it will be), just wait until you're leaving. If others are around, it's perfectly fine to just be like, "Hey, can I borrow you for a second?" Then just tell him you really like his company and you're wondering if you could do lunch some time. Lunch is a lot less pressure than a full-on dinner date, and it at least breaks the ice. Just a simple, "I find myself enjoying being around you, and I was wondering if you would be interested in having lunch with me." You may be surprised how relieved you will be to have asked. :) Don't play games to get his attention with the intention of getting him to ask you! Games suck and cause more problems than they solve.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    No, unfortunately I don't. Maybe, my girl friend and I can stop by his place of work. The place, he works at is having this big event for fire safety.
  • auntiebabs
    auntiebabs Posts: 1,754 Member
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    For first dates I like an activity, (hiking, bowling, slot car racing, go karts, rock climbing, arcades, skating, even a outing to shoot photographs) If he is fitter than you ask for his help... I'm trying to work up my endurance, let's go for a hike on the "_____" trail.

    Because you are doing something there are fewer awkward pauses... You can always shift conversation back to the activity.

    And seeing someone focus on whatever they are doing reveals things about themselves that conversation might not.
    I might like getting the undivided attention of a guy I already know, but if it's someone I'm just getting to know I always like seeing how he approaches the world and how interacts with others.

    If things have gone well, then go out for a drink/slice of pizza/burger afterward, you can discuss what ever you did and saw during the day.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    For first dates I like an activity, (hiking, bowling, slot car racing, go karts, rock climbing, arcades, skating, even a outing to shoot photographs) If he is fitter than you ask for his help... I'm trying to work up my endurance, let's go for a hike on the "_____" trail.

    Because you are doing something there are fewer awkward pauses... You can always shift conversation back to the activity.

    And seeing someone focus on whatever they are doing reveals things about themselves that conversation might not.
    I might like getting the undivided attention of a guy I already know, but if it's someone I'm just getting to know I always like seeing how he approaches the world and how interacts with others.

    If things have gone well, then go out for a drink/slice of pizza/burger afterward, you can discuss what ever you did and saw during the day.

    I might give this a swing! So many good points too!
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Anyone know how to post pictures. I'm trying to show the socially awkward penguin
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    I hate the feeling of being in love :cry:
  • ajharries
    ajharries Posts: 59 Member
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    probably not love then

    more likely...limerence
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    probably not love then

    more likely...limerence


    What is that?
  • ajharries
    ajharries Posts: 59 Member
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    Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated.

    Above is from wikipedia

    Read the whole article though if u really wanna know

    I have definitely been in limerence several times
  • ajharries
    ajharries Posts: 59 Member
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    Never with my wife though, even though she outshines all of my 'limerences'

    I'm in love with her.

    There's a difference.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    It could be that but I doubt because that's not why I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated that I want to join the military (active duty) and this dude don't want anything' to do with the military or moving. (I'm a military civilian brat and well, IDK about him. I think he grew up in one city) I want to get to know him but I don't want to give up my dream...
  • ajharries
    ajharries Posts: 59 Member
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    Ask him out over the phone. Just make the call...there's nothing weird about that.

    And remember this...if he really fancies you...there is virtually nothing you can do wrong on the first date.

    It's out of ur hands, so just be urself.
  • Yiazach
    Yiazach Posts: 209 Member
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    The cliches about love are, for good or evil, true more often than not, at least that's my experience. And if you think about it, problems of a romantic nature are almost as old as civilization so those cliches had a long long time to be refined! Now, will I be more specific? No! Why? Because i am sleepy!
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    What cliches are those?
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Unless he works in retail or at a coffee shop or restaurant or something like that, where it would be normal for you or anyone to just pass by, I think, maybe don't go to his work. (Like, if he works at an office, that *would* be weird for you to stop by.)

    Instead, go to events he is likely to be at and make small talk.

    Small talk = things that are happening around you *at that event*, local current events, weather, music... Show interest in him by asking questions, listen to what he says, build on that with your own information, ask another question... chit chat, fun and games.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Unfortunately, he's firefighter so showing up at his work would be super duper awkward....
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    Put on a negligee and set fire to your kitchen.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    I'm already under fire watch for my pyromania. One more incident with the fire alarm and I'm on lock up. That and his company doesn't work in my due. Now if I set fire to the neighbor hood, he and his company might come as back up...
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    Put on a negligee and set fire to your kitchen.

    What do you think, show all or leave them guessing?
  • mayaocean
    mayaocean Posts: 355 Member
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    Limerence is an involuntary state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person combined with an overwhelming, obsessive need to have one's feelings reciprocated.

    Above is from wikipedia

    Read the whole article though if u really wanna know

    I have definitely been in limerence several times

    1zmmkpy.jpg

    Holy ****. Lost it.

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