Overcoming cripping fear and embarrassment
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tumbledownhouse
Posts: 178 Member
Hello everybody, thought I'd let you know I started the c25k programme, and ending up feeling SO SO SO VERY...
I've been at this healthy lark since mid June but I think today was the first time I really and truly have surprised myself. I've got a long,detailed and anxiety filled story of how I got big and the events that led to my resolve to become not so big, as we all do. This is not the time to share all of that (though I may at some point) but what I will say that if you had told me in mid June that I would be starting a running programme where I have to JIGGLE and SWEAT and CARE in public I would have laughed. Maybe quite a lot.
So it would seem, 30lbs later I've changed. I've changed quite a lot. I have energy, by the bucketload. I always want to walk a bit faster, eat a bit better, challenge myself a bit more. And there is definitely osmosis in that challenging myself more bit. I am doing lots of things that scare me right now and I am LOVING it.
So, I've been walking a lot and doing exercise videos in the house (particularly Jessica Smith, I
her) but the idea of exerting myself in public was a no no, a real nono. ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY. I actually specifically thought to myself when I started doing this "well it's not like I'll be doing anything crazy like RUNNING in PUBLIC".
Then who knows why, but a couple of weeks ago when I decided to just bloody do it. So I bought some trainers (hilariously I didn't even have any of these, going barefoot at home and walking in decidibly non-sensible shoes) and downloaded the app.
Today at first I was a bit embarrassed and I started off on a crazy sprint and quickly had to sort THAT out! it took a bit to regulate my breathing and try not to worry what people thought of the fat girl going for a run, though logically I suspect if they thought anything it was "good on her" - nevertheless my anxious brain has a trick of telling me little lies!
About half way through I started to REALLY enjoy myself, sweat running down my face in the unusual Glasgow sun. Wanting to run even after the intervals stopped. Head up, shoulders back, smiling at strangers.
And I wasn't afraid or embarrassed. Not even one bit.
So, a cheeky wee progress bit because if I can challenge myself this far I can share a couple of unflattering pictures of myself. SW 235, CW 205. GW: 160, UGW: 140ish (5'6.5" (because the half inch counts!
)
I've been at this healthy lark since mid June but I think today was the first time I really and truly have surprised myself. I've got a long,detailed and anxiety filled story of how I got big and the events that led to my resolve to become not so big, as we all do. This is not the time to share all of that (though I may at some point) but what I will say that if you had told me in mid June that I would be starting a running programme where I have to JIGGLE and SWEAT and CARE in public I would have laughed. Maybe quite a lot.
So it would seem, 30lbs later I've changed. I've changed quite a lot. I have energy, by the bucketload. I always want to walk a bit faster, eat a bit better, challenge myself a bit more. And there is definitely osmosis in that challenging myself more bit. I am doing lots of things that scare me right now and I am LOVING it.
So, I've been walking a lot and doing exercise videos in the house (particularly Jessica Smith, I
her) but the idea of exerting myself in public was a no no, a real nono. ANXIETY ANXIETY ANXIETY. I actually specifically thought to myself when I started doing this "well it's not like I'll be doing anything crazy like RUNNING in PUBLIC".Then who knows why, but a couple of weeks ago when I decided to just bloody do it. So I bought some trainers (hilariously I didn't even have any of these, going barefoot at home and walking in decidibly non-sensible shoes) and downloaded the app.
Today at first I was a bit embarrassed and I started off on a crazy sprint and quickly had to sort THAT out! it took a bit to regulate my breathing and try not to worry what people thought of the fat girl going for a run, though logically I suspect if they thought anything it was "good on her" - nevertheless my anxious brain has a trick of telling me little lies!
About half way through I started to REALLY enjoy myself, sweat running down my face in the unusual Glasgow sun. Wanting to run even after the intervals stopped. Head up, shoulders back, smiling at strangers.
And I wasn't afraid or embarrassed. Not even one bit.
So, a cheeky wee progress bit because if I can challenge myself this far I can share a couple of unflattering pictures of myself. SW 235, CW 205. GW: 160, UGW: 140ish (5'6.5" (because the half inch counts!
) 0
Replies
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You are marvelous! Truth is, most people are too worried and self-conscious about themselves to really notice
I love this comic for that reason: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/gym0 -
You absolutely KICK *kitten*! Way to go!
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Awesome!0
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Today at first I was a bit embarrassed and I started off on a crazy sprint and quickly had to sort THAT out! it took a bit to regulate my breathing and try not to worry what people thought of the fat girl going for a run, though logically I suspect if they thought anything it was "good on her" - nevertheless my anxious brain has a trick of telling me little lies!
About half way through I started to REALLY enjoy myself, sweat running down my face in the unusual Glasgow sun. Wanting to run even after the intervals stopped. Head up, shoulders back, smiling at strangers.
And I wasn't afraid or embarrassed. Not even one bit.
I can totally relate to this, although it took me at least a couple of weeks to get to that point.0 -
I think alot of us go through that! WTG on overcoming your anxiety!
A while back I started telling myself, what the heck at least I'm exercising! No one has ever said anything, but if they ever did, that's pretty much what I'd tell them, while sprinting past them. :happy:
Cheers to you! :drinker:0 -
This made me smile.
Good for you!!!0 -
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thank you for your kind words, all 0
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You are marvelous! Truth is, most people are too worried and self-conscious about themselves to really notice
I love this comic for that reason: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/gym
Hilarious.0 -
bumping my own post shame.0
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Well done on getting out there.
Is that a cat on your shoulder?0 -
ha looks like it eh!0
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Awesome, simply AWESOME! I overcame my fear of public bathing suits and have been swimming several times a week...now, I don't even care if I make a big splash 0
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YOU ROCK!0
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Good for you, you should absolutely be proud of yourself! xxx0
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Awesome, simply AWESOME! I overcame my fear of public bathing suits and have been swimming several times a week...now, I don't even care if I make a big splash
Swimming is next on my list 0
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