I wanna get healthy but...

kh4leesi

People say they like me as I am. I know it's a way for them to be cordial, but it still kind of hurts. I am obese. They say, "No, you're fine." It's like, stop lying.

I need to lose 100+ lbs and I don't have many people to help with motivation and support.
If you have to lose a huge amount of weight like me, feel free to add me as a friend.

Also, let's post our general fears when it comes to exercise/weight loss.

kowajenn

Most people (excluding those on message boards) are polite and err on the side of kindness. It's frustrating not to hear the truth, but generally it comes from a place of compassion. Try to see it that way.

What matters is how you feel and what you do to help yourself. The motivation has to come from within.

benol1

I hope you are motivated to do something about regaining your health. Once you get going and after a little while, you will begin to feel incredible and there will be no stopping you. But you need to do it for yourself. The first step is the hardest - but after you've made the first step, you'll look back and wonder why you didn't start sooner.
I don't have 100lb to lose, but you are welcome to "friend" me.
kind regards,

Ben

BTW: my greatest concern relating to lifestyle, is dying prematurely from a lifestyle related disease such as cardio-vascular disease, many cancers, diabetes, etc which would happen if I didn't exercise or only ate the unhealthy things that I liked.

trophylicious

I understand where you're coming from, but the funny thing it will be those same people who will be the first to say you look great when the pounds start to come off. While I know those close to you (and me) try to be kind, I think because you're being honest with yourself, you also hop that they don't sugar coat as much. Let them know how you want to be supported and they will be there for you. Trust me! I literally told my friends to call me out on any nonsense excuse I try to throw at them to allow me a bag of chips lol.


Since this process is about you and what you want, I think you've taken an incredible first step by creating this post and reaching out for support from others who are on a very similar journey.

You'll see a friend request from me ;-)

appygirl84

I know the feeling. My journey is further along... I am 2 lbs from no longer being obese, and then after that another 19 or so I will no longer be overweight.

I think people don't see it, because I think we see obese as morbidly obese and forget that there are all kinds of in between. There is also the perspective of your body. I have tall friends who say I am thin because of my jeans size, but I'm not thin. It's just that since I am short the same body fat percentage looks different on me than it does on them.

I hear you perfectly.

bwogilvie

You've realized the most important thing: *you* want to change for *yourself*. Keep that in mind when you get frustrated.

Your friends and family don't want to hurt you, so they're trying to be nice. You could ask them to be blunt, or find some blunt friends, but I think it's healthier to just recognize that they mean well. And as trophylicious says, once you start losing weight (or in my experience, once you've lost 25-30 lbs. and they notice), most of them will become your cheering squad.

A lot of people here are overly nice, too, because we don't want to hurt strangers' feelings, but if you feel a need for a kick in the butt when you aren't meeting your own expectations, post in the forums about it it and someone will oblige. :-)

But basically, you need to step up for yourself, as you are already doing, because no one else will do it for you. It's like the old joke about the Buddhist who goes up to a hot dog vendor in New York City and says, "Make me one with everything."

So the hot dog vendor makes him a hot dog with mustard, ketchup, onions, pickle, relish - the works - and says, "That will be 6 dollars."

The Buddhist hands him a $20 bill, then waits. After an awkward pause, the Buddhist says, "Hey, I just gave you $20 for a $6 hot dog. Where's my change?"

The hot dog vendor replies, "Change comes from within."