Cruel people

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2

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  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    I say as little as possible to anyone about my weight loss, for this and many other reasons. If they notice, they notice- if not, that's ok too. I'm not doing it for them. Most people don't even know I'm losing weight. Maybe I'm lucky in that I don't need that external motivation.
  • lilbearzmom
    lilbearzmom Posts: 600 Member
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    There are a lot of people in this world whose lives are so meaningless and empty that in order for them to feel better about themselves, they have to belittle. try to make others feel small. or minimize other people's accomplishments. I think people like that need to be pitied. I feel sorry for them. They are very unhappy. The trick is to not make their approval necessary. I know it's easier said than done. They won't be able to recognize and be happy for your success until they are satisfied with their own lives, and lot of them are not willing to put that kind of effort in. JMHO.
  • FrauHaas2013
    FrauHaas2013 Posts: 615 Member
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    There are some people who just can't be happy and celebrate someone else's success - they look for ways to bring them down. Maybe your family members wants you to fail because THEY failed, and they can't bear the thought that you're doing something right that they couldn't do themselves. Ignore them and keep on going!!!!

    "WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE UP, JUST THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU FAIL...DON'T GIVE THEM THAT PLEASURE."
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    Fast forward a year... they'll still be mean but YOU will be lean, slim and fit. :bigsmile:
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
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    Honestly, people just don't notice until the weight loss is really significant. My family didn't say a word till I got to 30 lbs lost.

    They may not see it. Family has a tendency to be more blunt about things like that, anyway. Unless there's a bunch of history of cruelty that you're not telling us about, it doesn't sound cruel or jealous to me.

    Just do your thing and don't take it personally.
  • bloominheck
    bloominheck Posts: 869 Member
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    :flowerforyou:
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
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    Honestly, people just don't notice until the weight loss is really significant. My family didn't say a word till I got to 30 lbs lost.

    They may not see it. Family has a tendency to be more blunt about things like that, anyway. Unless there's a bunch of history of cruelty that you're not telling us about, it doesn't sound cruel or jealous to me.

    Just do your thing and don't take it personally.

    x2
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
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    There's a lot that goes into people's perception of you. People didn't notice my weightloss until I'd dropped close to 60lbs. Sometimes it's just a matter of making a clear and obvious change. They're not being cruel, just blunt and perhaps you're reading it as insensitive. Just keep doing you. Good Luck.
  • Littlestandrews
    Littlestandrews Posts: 96 Member
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    I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I am not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me. They wouldn't even know about my diet if it wasn't for my youngest sister visiting and observing my exercise/diet. At my height, almost any weight loss (especially 20lbs) is noticed. My family will bring it up (publicly) if they perceive that I've gained weight.
    My issue isn't that they don't think I look thinner. My issue is that I didn't ask what they thought, but they made sure to let me know that they saw my fb pic and didn't see any difference. It's not like I asked, "Hey, do I look smaller?" and they were just being 'Honest.' It was a jerk comment for no apparent reason.
  • knot_enough
    knot_enough Posts: 176 Member
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    numbers don't lie, my friend.
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    They honestly may not see it. My daughter in law tells me she's lost 20 lbs and I honestly can't see she looks any different than she did before. I just smile and say that's great but if she didn't keep mentioning it I'd never have known. Sometimes it takes more for anyone to see the loss.
  • KittiesSong
    KittiesSong Posts: 33
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    A 5K that's fantastic! I hope to be able to run a 5K in the future but I'm not there yet! As for those grumpy bums, I believe it's just a case of ignorance blended with a subtle hint of jealousy. You don't have anything to prove to them... AT ALL! If you feel great and are seeing results that make you healthier and happier then by all means celebrate! Yea stuff like that stings but remember we all get unsolicited comments from time to time... -_- My thought process is "I didn't ask so don't tell please" Sometimes people just need a quick lesson in manners and personal respect!
  • belgd
    belgd Posts: 26 Member
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    As long as you can notice the change don't worry too much about it. They probably can't really tell since it's a photo and not in person. I don't know why they even commented that in the first place. If it's something that might bring you down, why comment?
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    You can choose to let them hurt your feelings, or you can choose to not give them that power. They're your feelings, take ownership of them, and don't give toxic people the power to affect them.
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
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    Some people, if they can't see perfection they don't see a success. You've done a fantastic job, don't let them undermine you and all your efforts to be healthier.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Unless they have a history of deliberately treating you unkindly, it's possible that it was just a thoughtless, off-hand comment. I prefer to just think people are unintentionally inconsiderate, rather than believing they are trying to hurt me.

    If there IS a history of them being unkind, then try to rise above it, and understand that it is their issue - not yours. You are doing really well and should be proud of yourself.
  • bbzgrl110
    bbzgrl110 Posts: 45 Member
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    Fast forward a year... they'll still be mean but YOU will be lean, slim and fit. :bigsmile:

    I completely agree!!
  • Kabiti
    Kabiti Posts: 191 Member
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    Some people are unintentionally critical... others do it on purpose. It's hard to tell them apart sometimes.

    I'm heading into a stage of life where I'll be getting a lot of criticism and negativity. Much of it will be subconcious... but that doesn't make it right.
  • ViktoryaC
    ViktoryaC Posts: 124 Member
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    I've gained almost 60 pounds in the past 18 months, after basically being a skinny rail my whole life, and yes, let me tell you, people can be cruel and let you know about every body flaw. Silence them. Ignore them. Listen to your inner voice. ANd keep going!
  • Samstan101
    Samstan101 Posts: 699 Member
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    I don't want anyone to misunderstand. I am not doing this for them, I'm doing it for me. They wouldn't even know about my diet if it wasn't for my youngest sister visiting and observing my exercise/diet. At my height, almost any weight loss (especially 20lbs) is noticed. My family will bring it up (publicly) if they perceive that I've gained weight.
    My issue isn't that they don't think I look thinner. My issue is that I didn't ask what they thought, but they made sure to let me know that they saw my fb pic and didn't see any difference. It's not like I asked, "Hey, do I look smaller?" and they were just being 'Honest.' It was a jerk comment for no apparent reason.

    Ask them their 5k run time :D

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