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How to prepare for a Mammogram

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Lalasharni
Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
OK, so this afternoon I am off for my tri-annual mammogram.
A friend suggested I prepare - so here goes....

1. Take a shower. Use unperfumed soap, DO NOT use deodorant, perfume or talc
2. Stand in the cold bathroom for ten minutes, naked from the waist up.
3. Progress to the kitchen, still unclothed.
4. Open the Refrigerator door and place one boob on the door seal
5. Now SLAM the door shut with the other hand.
6 .Whimper a bit
7. Repeat the process with the other boob.
8. Whimper a lot.
9. Return to cold bathroom, re-dress and have a cup of coffee
10. Repeat "OOOOhhhhhhhh" at least 20 times, and seek sympathy from husband/partner.
11. Refuse any intimate touching of the affected parts for at least one week.
12. Look forward to the next one!!

I hope this helps someone (tongue in cheek) It HAS to be done, but mammograms were DEFINITELY invented by a MAN!!

Replies

  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Haha this is excellent advice! I wish I had read this before I got mine done a couple months ago. When I saw what was involved, I was thinking, "You have got to be kidding me. You are not seriously expecting me to stick my breast in that and let you squish it." lol.
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
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    Lol this is funny thanks for the reminder I have to schedule mine
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    ~chuckles~
    If this is what other women go through, they have my sympathies, my experiences aren't anywhere near so uncomfortable.
  • SuperCrsa
    SuperCrsa Posts: 790 Member
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    Haha brilliant, thanks for sharing!
    Good laugh!
  • kappyblu
    kappyblu Posts: 654 Member
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    Funny! For those that have to use deodorant because their appt is right after they get off work, they always have wipes there that clean the deodorant off. And wipes to put some back on! Good luck! :drinker:
  • Bekahmardis
    Bekahmardis Posts: 602 Member
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    pretty funny, but that's not the case in my doctor's office. We have warmed plastic plates instead of cold steel, nice warm cloaks to put over our shoulders so only one breast is exposed at a time, and the whole room is warmed to our requested temperature as per a phone call the day before. I'm beginning to not mind having to go in every year any more. :)
  • PeanutButterLuver
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    Nothing to it.
  • CookNLift
    CookNLift Posts: 3,660 Member
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    How a male prepares for a Mammogram

    1. Tells wife to make a sammich
    2. Sticks hands in freezer while she makes said sandwich
    3. Cops a feel
    4. Eats Sammich
  • Lalasharni
    Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
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    How a male prepares for a Mammogram

    1. Tells wife to make a sammich
    2. Sticks hands in freezer while she makes said sandwich
    3. Cops a feel
    4. Eats Sammich

    Verkin' LOVE it!!