Why clean eating is the only option
Ahem.
A Mutant13 original production
'twas the day after leg day
And Mutant was heading home
But for a change, this one time, she wasn't alone
For, Paleo McCleanly- a person she knew
Accompanied her, as friends sometimes do
Upon arriving in Mutants' humble abode
Paleo asked for some water (not from the commode)
'Of Course!' Said the Mutant "please help yourself!'
"It's in the fridge, on the second shelf!"
Paleo opened the door, and cried out in fear!
There were some awful, horrid things here!
"Oh, Mutant!' She cried, "Something is not right!"
"There's Cola in here! And cheez whiz and sprite!
'Arent you afraid?' She asked her, quite shaken
Of all this cool whip, and this nitrate-full bacon?
'You could get a case of the pudding cup mumps!
Or the mayonnaise malaise, or chocolate bar lumps!'
'You need to fix this" she said, now in high distress
"Your body's a temple! And if its not clean-it's a mess!"
"Now throw out these biscuits and this salty ham!
Be rid of this cakester and this sugarless jam!
"Now here! Take this quinoa and this coconut oil!
Drink this lemon water, now don't let it spoil!
Bin this steak, and get some that's eaten some grass
Don't whine, I'm trying to save your *kitten*!
These horrible chemicals will kill you I say!
Now I'm begging you Mutant! Please throw them away!
Mutant gathered her thoughts, and her food from the floor
And calmly kicked Paleo out the front door.
Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
And Mutant retired to bed, as it was getting late
The evil foods in her fridge could very well wait.
But as she lay down to sleep. She heard a sound
She opened her eyes
She looked around.
And when she saw what she saw her thoughts were quite convoluted
But in short they were something like 'I'm rooted!'
For above her bed
In the dark shadow of night
An evil had come
When she turned out the light.
So be warned now, cause Mutant- you'll never meet her
She fell to the fate, of the Not-So-Clean-Eater
EAT CLEAN OR DIE!!!
A Mutant13 original production
'twas the day after leg day
And Mutant was heading home
But for a change, this one time, she wasn't alone
For, Paleo McCleanly- a person she knew
Accompanied her, as friends sometimes do
Upon arriving in Mutants' humble abode
Paleo asked for some water (not from the commode)
'Of Course!' Said the Mutant "please help yourself!'
"It's in the fridge, on the second shelf!"
Paleo opened the door, and cried out in fear!
There were some awful, horrid things here!
"Oh, Mutant!' She cried, "Something is not right!"
"There's Cola in here! And cheez whiz and sprite!
'Arent you afraid?' She asked her, quite shaken
Of all this cool whip, and this nitrate-full bacon?
'You could get a case of the pudding cup mumps!
Or the mayonnaise malaise, or chocolate bar lumps!'
'You need to fix this" she said, now in high distress
"Your body's a temple! And if its not clean-it's a mess!"
"Now throw out these biscuits and this salty ham!
Be rid of this cakester and this sugarless jam!
"Now here! Take this quinoa and this coconut oil!
Drink this lemon water, now don't let it spoil!
Bin this steak, and get some that's eaten some grass
Don't whine, I'm trying to save your *kitten*!
These horrible chemicals will kill you I say!
Now I'm begging you Mutant! Please throw them away!
Mutant gathered her thoughts, and her food from the floor
And calmly kicked Paleo out the front door.
Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
And Mutant retired to bed, as it was getting late
The evil foods in her fridge could very well wait.
But as she lay down to sleep. She heard a sound
She opened her eyes
She looked around.
And when she saw what she saw her thoughts were quite convoluted
But in short they were something like 'I'm rooted!'
For above her bed
In the dark shadow of night
An evil had come
When she turned out the light.
So be warned now, cause Mutant- you'll never meet her
She fell to the fate, of the Not-So-Clean-Eater
EAT CLEAN OR DIE!!!
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Replies
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HA!! very cute - but now I want some cinnamon toast and nutella0
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:drinker: :drinker:0
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This is beyond awesome.0
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Awesome! :laugh: :laugh:0
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0
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Ah! Love love love. You rock!0
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0
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mayonnaise malaise
Best.0 -
brilliant!!!0
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Hahahaha, love it!!!0
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Mmmmm... Cheez Whiz.....0
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lovely0
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:laugh:0
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brilliant!!!0
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I'm glad to be of service brethren.
Even if it means posting the evidence that I have no social life0 -
A social life is a small price to pay for genius!0
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Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
That didn't rhyme! :huh:0 -
Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
That didn't rhyme! :huh:
Gotta keep it G rated in case Sesame Street hires me0 -
*eating Cool Whip straight from the tub with my fingers*:happy: :happy: :happy:0
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Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
This made me LOL, literally. :laugh:0 -
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0
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Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
That didn't rhyme! :huh:
Gotta keep it G rated in case Sesame Street hires me
Anxiously awaiting the "Tickle Me Mutie" doll.0 -
mayonnaise malaise
Hahaha! Loved it!0 -
Mutant, I you
:smooched:0 -
Good riddance! She thought- as she slammed the door with a 'THUNT'
She really is a bit of a "difficult person to be around"
That didn't rhyme! :huh:
Gotta keep it G rated in case Sesame Street hires me
Anxiously awaiting the "Tickle Me Mutie" doll.
They already have one creepy red-haired monster. They problem don't need another0 -
Thank you. :-)0
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Mutant, I you
:smooched:
I love you too, Internet stranger.0 -
OMG - LOVED IT!!! Thank you for sharing!!0
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This is brilliant!0
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A thing of beauty. Brought a tear to my eye0
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