recovering from an eating disorder

lavender_moon

I'm currently struggling to recover from a restrictive eating disorder, but I'm having a really hard time getting enough to eat. Part of it is that I've simply forgotten what a "normal" day of food or "normal" meals look like, and I know part of it is also the mental obstacle of making myself eat.

So for anyone who is in recovery/has recovered, what were some foods/recipes that you found manageable, despite being high calorie? I've tried looking up therapeutic foods for anorexia recovery but surprisingly I didn't find much. I know that nut butters and avocado are high fat/calorie, but I can't think of any way to eat them other than on bread, and I'm getting so tired of sandwiches (plus eating a lot of carbs is very stressful).

Also, I find it really hard to eat large amounts of a single food, so if anyone had any ideas that combine some high calorie foods that would be helpful. Last night I was pretty far under my minimum calorie intake so I forced myself to eat a coconut butter, chocolate, and sunflower seed butter sandwich, which was hard but it did help that I could use 1 tbsp of each of the butters instead of using lots of just one of them.

And I've found it hard to meet my protein requirements without getting way too full, so I'm not sure what to do about that.

finally, I'm a vegetarian (been vegetarian since I was 5 so it's not ED related), so I don't eat meat or fish.


Thank you !

And thanks to everyone who has come onto sites like this and calorie count to talk about recovery and recovery meal plans, your bravery has really motivated me to recover and helped me feel less alone.

TheGymGypsy

I've also been a vegetarian since I was kid, nice to meet someone else who is similar! I have never had an eating disorder, but I can imagine what you must be going through. Congrats on choosing the road to recovery. One thing that might help you is smoothies. They can be very healthy and calorie dense simultaneously. I like making a green smoothie with greek yogurt, spinach, banana, pineapple juice, almond milk, and berries. Depending on how much yogurt and banana you use, these smoothies can be between 300-400 calories. Hope that helps!

Jennisin1

Where is your recovery team? You should be under that care of a Doctor, a Nutrtionist, and hopefully a therapist to provide you with the support you need for your recovery. If you are trying to go it alone, I do applaud you for moving toward recovery, but you really need more help than a bunch of internet people can give you and I encourage you to seek out all the help you can!

inktink

I really like homemade peanut butter and apple slices, have you tried that?

lgumert

Definitely get professional advice. I did have an eating disorder when I was younger. When I was starting to eat again, I found it helpful to eat many small meals rather than try to eat a lot at once. If you don't feel hungry, try setting a clock or timer to remind you to eat every couple of hours.

BikerGirlElaine

Do you like hummus? It's got calories and vegetarian protein.

MissKitty9

I've been a vegetarian since I was a kid, too Just never liked the look/taste of meat; it's cool to see others who are similar! (I always get weird looks & questions when I tell people...)

I agree you should be under specialized care (just meaning, advisement from a professional) but if you're sick of sandwiches, maybe avocado by by itself or with chips? Pita chips? If eating a lot of carbs stresses you out, try getting them in some other way. You can do smoothies that won't make you feel bloated, but that are high calorie. Banana, almond milk, silken tofu, chocolate, & peanut butter blend nicely into a tasty smoothie with the caloric content/protein of a full meal. Just a thought! Also, if you find yourself way under for the day, maybe some chocolate? Decadent, expensive, nice kind of chocolate, to make you feel like a pampered queen (instead of like you're pigging out, which is what I'm guessing you feel like sometimes? That's the eating disorder thinking creeping back in, but it's normal as you're recovering, & you just have to sort of trick yourself)

lavender_moon

I'm a college student and the only healthcare I have access to is the campus clinic which is notoriously bad, to the point where seeing a therapist there is not just unhelpful, but actually detrimental, and the doctors don't do anything besides prescribe antibiotics.

I know it would be better to have a treatment team, but that's not going to happen right now.


Smoothies and peanut butter & apple slices are great suggestions. I have actually been drinking a smoothie almost every day which definitely helps by packing in about 350 calories, with a lot of conscious overriding of my habits, like using water instead of milk, only using 1/2 banana, etc etc that I don't even think about anymore but make it almost impossible to get enough calories.

goodnamegone

I had a restrictive eating disorder more than 20 years ago and I remember that my way back into eating involved eating one piece of bread at a time. I would take a piece of bread and break off a tiny bit and eat that. Eating a slice of bread took me time to get through but I remember this was the way I came back into eating again. Find something very simple and grounding and eat tiny bits at a time over the day/week/month build it back up gradually. If you are comfortable to do so maybe speak to your doctor about it too. All the best with your journey to healing.

lavender_moon

Decadent, expensive, nice kind of chocolate, to make you feel like a pampered queen (instead of like you're pigging out, which is what I'm guessing you feel like sometimes? That's the eating disorder thinking creeping back in, but it's normal as you're recovering, & you just have to sort of trick yourself)

Yes this is exactly the sort of thing that helps! It's really hard to find tasty, high calorie recipes that don't have as much association with greed and pigging out. Obviously I know I could eat fried ice cream and grilled cheese sandwiches filled with macaroni and gain weight but I could never ever eat those.

LovelyLumos

for a yummy somewhat high cal snack i cut up some apples and bananas melt some peanutbutter pour it on top with raisins some times with chocolate syrup if we have it its really yummy and helps me when im wayyy under my goal!

geekyjock76

Protein is the most filling macronutrient; so it's going to take time getting used to consuming more protein. One of my favorite protein meals, which can also serve as a snack, is taking plain greek-style yogurt and mixing in a tablespoon or so of strawberry/raspberry jelly or even sugar-free Jello cheesecake pudding mix (the latter tastes just like cheesecake filling but with higher protein). For additional calories and texture, I add a little granola as well.

As you mentioned, you don't know what an average meal is and you cannot rely on presently unreliable hunger cues to alert that you've eaten enough. Thus, you may want to keep a journal and ensure you aim for a certain amount of meals per day - and eventually macronutrients and calories - because there is a chance those hunger cues may never return to normal function.

How long has it been since you've consciously made an effort in increasing calories? What's your average caloric intake as of now and how long have you been maintaining eating this particular amount?

As a general disclaimer, I think it's always advisable to seek medical intervention of some kind prior to increasing calories as opposed to trying to recover on your own.

I don't know where you are in regards to the questions above, and if you are at risk of refeeding syndrome, but recent research reviews have noted key findings within continuous refeeding programs: from early on and throughout refeeding, it's suggested that persons ensure an overall balance of macronutrient intake and carbohydrates generally make up less than 40% of your total calories to reduce risks of refeeding syndrome. Thus, you may want to be mindful of carb intake.

Finally, I applaud you for making such great progress on your own; but if you can find health professionals that can actually be of help, it may greatly increase your chances of recovery.

lavender_moon

thanks for the detailed response, geekyjock.

I've been eating in the 1200-1500 calorie range this past week (with a lot of effort, and also counting alcohol calories), and the week before that I steadily increased from 400-700.

My calorie intake for september and the later part of august had dipped down into the 100-300 range (not including calories burned through exercise) . It was a bit higher in the summer when I was home and had to eat dinner sometimes, generally around 500-700 although I was burning 500 a couple times a week in a fitness class, plus I worked a pretty active job. I first started restricting in March, when I would fast or eat ~100-300 calories a day and then binge on the weekends. That was my "transition" period from a couple of months of bulimic tendencies, where I was binging and purging a couple times a week or more. That along with heavy alcohol use and zero exercise led to me gaining somewhere around 15-20 lbs (never weighed myself at my highest). When I realized how big I had gotten, my restrictive tendencies (which began when I was around 11-12) kicked in. All in all, I started last school year at 5'10" and ~~140, and I came home in May between 130-135.

As of today I'm down to 116.5, which puts me at a bmi of 16.71. My body fat according to some online calculator is about 17%. I should also note that after 1 day of 5 lb increase last weekend (which I know is normal when you up your calories) my weight has dropped a pound or two each day this week, and I'm now at a net loss of 1 lb since upping my intake.


I'm also really terrified that I'll get used to eating more while gaining and I won't be able to stop. Or that I'll go back into binging/purging.

Sorry if this is long and confusing!

spartsy88

These boards have been really helpful for me. I've struggled with an eating disorder for years starting out with restrictive eating during high school which progressed to severe restrictive eating freshman/sophomore year of college. I would have days where I would only 'eat' crystal lite shakes (crystal lite blended with water/ice) and carry hard candies in my purse to prevent me from passing out due to low blood sugars.

I'm 5 ft 6 inches and went from 150 pounds to 135 which was desired but now my weight is down to 128#. I exercise 5-7 days per week for long periods frequently focusing on extra calorie burning. The only reason my disorder was in check was because I was living at home with my parents and would have to eat. Now that I moved out of the house and have more freedom I find that I'm back up to spending 2hours at the gym and not eating enough.

Whenever my freidns and family see me they joke that I don't eat enough and that I need to 'have a hamburger'. I recently saw my doctor because I've been amenorrheic since February and he had my estrogen levels done which came back really really low because of my excessive exercise, low caloric intake and low body fat percentage.

I know it's getting out of control because tonight I went out to dinner with friends and had a big bowl of ice cream to try to eat something. I immediately came back home and purged for the first time in 3 years. I feel out of control. So sad.

Did I mention what I do for a living? I'm a registered dietitian. I can't escape food ever. Ironic?

GettingMooreInShape

Ironic, yes, but not at all surprising, Spartsy88. A good majority of RDs and Nutritionists have had or currently maintain eating disorders. Very sad, and I wish you all the best!

Lavender_Moon, I too suggest you see a professional or team of professionals as others have mentioned. Eating disorders are more mental than physical.. Even if you feel you have things under control now, that feeling may quickly subside and you NEED a professional support system to lead you back on the right track.

Good luck to all! :flowerforyou:

dannipilon87

Congratulations on choosing the road to recovery, it's not easy, and there will probably be setbacks, but it's all worth it in the end

A great way to add calories without volume is through omelettes and quiches, pasta and cheese dishes, and making sure that the food you do buy is whole, instead of light/ skim.
Also, have you thought of adding a protein powder into your diet? One of the ones that has carbs in it also that you could add into a milkshake with some fruit, milk, icecream etc?
I really do recommend being under the care of a professional treating team, but if that isn't an option atleast surround yourself with people you trust and who will support you on your way to recovery.
Wishing you all the strength and courage in the world, xoxo

leadiax3

I love veggie omlettes with melted cheese on top. With a slice of whole grain toast. Also greek yogurt mixed with granola or bran or slivered almonds.... Also veggie pizza.... Eggplant parmesan ... I am recovering too and i feel i xan eat alot of these foods without beating myself up after. Check out my diary.

leadiax3

I also am close to my mom and she pushed me to get professional help. I didnt menstruate for over a year. Apparently when ur hormone levels get this low, u are at risk for thinning bones! Scary. I have been working on healing my own disorder due to how expensive the therapy was getting.

chrysa858

I know that seeking medical advice is always what people suggest, well you know that would really help you, and as you said you do not have that access right now. Idk if this will help you and it may even seem a little out there and minimal but you said you are tired of sandwiches, understandable if you are eating them all the time. Do you have a pinterest account? I have one and I have seen tons of food recipes healthy and vegan, there is soo many people on there with all kinds of different styles, and interests and food likes, I think this might help you find interesting recipes for your food style.

Keep you head up high, and believe in yourself that you will make it through this. You can do it and make it through this without any harsh repercussions. What I know just from research that I have done, is that you have to find what is going to work for you, and after reading the posts from you on a calorie intake, if you are working out and you need to gain weight, your calorie intake is way to low. You should be more at 1500-2000. I know that seems like a lot for your disorder but really your minimum goal should be 1500 calories a day.

If you like salads you can try an avocado in that, with sour cream instead of dressing (I don't know if sour cream is ok with being a vegetarian so I mean no disrespect) If you would like, add me and send me a message and I can do research for you as well to help you out, I am a stay at home mom so researching fills my day when I need a break. I will not pretend to know a whole lot about what you are going thru but I think I might be able to help as well with communication and understanding.

chrysa858

Here could be a good snack recipe for you

1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats

1/4 cup ground flaxseed

1/4 cup sliced almonds, chopped

2 tablespoons chia seeds

1/8 teaspoon cinnamon

a pinch of salt

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons creamy peanut butter, melted and slightly cooled

1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon honey

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons mini chocolate chips

1/4 cup ground peanuts or ground almonds, to roll the balls in


Directions:


Combine oats, almonds, flaxseed, chia seeds, salt and cinnamon in a large bowl and stir.

Melt peanut butter and allow it to cool slightly (I melted mine in the microwave for about 30 seconds, then stirred), then stir in honey and vanilla extract until it's combined. Once peanut butter has cooled a bit, pour it over the oat mixture and mix well with a spoon then bring together with your hands. Once mixture is sticking together, fold in chocolate chips.

Roll dough into golf-ball sized (or slightly smaller) balls, then roll in ground peanuts or ground almonds. These can be eaten at room temp but we really like them stored in the fridge!


Nutrition Facts
Amount Per Serving
Calories 260 Calories from Fat 160
% Daily Value *
Total Fat 17g 26%
Saturated Fat 3.5g 18%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 170mg 7%
Potassium 270mg 8%
Total Carbohydrate 20g 7%
Dietary Fiber 4g 16%
Sugars 9g
Protein 10g
Vitamin A 0%
Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 4%
Iron 10%

dwh77tx

Not responding to the topic directly-but I have my BS in Nutritional Science and was on the RD path in college. That major was FILLED with eating disorders! Sad, really! Best of luck to you.