Discouraged by weight loss compared to MIL

hulahoopmama

I'm feeling a bit discouraged these days. My MIL moved in and since then she has been losing weight really quickly and already in her size 10 pants I am getting jealous! She had a bypass surgery in the past but regained the weight 10 years later -- so is this something that is helping her and I should not compare myself to her results?? Also, she cares a great deal about appearances and feel like she can't get a job or do anything in life if she doesn't lose another "10lb" and I'm starting to emulate her mentaliy about weight holding me back. Its hard for me to turn off the emotions of others but I really am trying!

I don't want this to get me down but how do I see past it? I feel like we are eating the exact same meals maybe I'm even eating less than her and she doesn't workout like crazy like I do. Am I doing something wrong??

I'm at 1200 cals but I do overeat that since most of the time I am exercising around 300-450 cals/day

Also I do drink alcohol every other day and I've had a slight hormonal shift lately after weaning so I'm thinking my body may just be retaining water still?? I am at a loss! I thought us both dieting would be supportive but now I'm just irritated! AGH! I'm afraid to tell her to not be happy about her weight loss since she's been really upset about her relationship issues and I know this is one of her rays of sunshine. Is there a way for me to think about this in a positive way? I need some other eyes on this for me please! If I can reason it away that she had surgery to help her from getting fat from her food then it would make more sense to me. Or if I am eating far too low of calories? I am aiming for a pound a week but I've been here at 154 forEVER (3 weeks ish)

I think I may have just hit one of my many plateaus and will be doomed to stay here until I do an intensive workout program or stick to 1200 like a ninja.

astronomicals

id do a diet break and some carb refeeds... could easily be a plateau..

i wouldn't compare your weightloss to hers... you're different people.

sillyli234

It is hard to give concrete advice when I do not know your family medical histories, current stress levels and exactly what both of you are eating daily for comparison. Have you done any interval training on bike, elliptical, or treadmill? Not eating 3 hours before bed? Upping the amount of water you drink while decreasing anything with caffeine? Definitely three ideas to try out and see if you can get past 154.

Completely natural to feel bummed to see people more easily lose weight when you are putting forth a tremendous amount of effort. Certainly is not fair, but very little things are fair. :-( Definitely keep tracking, manage stress the best you can, and switch up the exercise routine.

littleburgy

It's never good to compare yourself to others.

Consider cutting back on alcohol, as that is mostly empty calories. Nothing wrong with it per se, but it probably doesn't help when you are dealing with a plateau...

Good luck!:flowerforyou:

PikaKnight

Stop comparing your goals, success, etc to others.

bridgew24

Up-ing my intake helped me when nothing was changing weight wise! Went from 1400 to 1600 cal and feel much better all round, no point having it low if that just isn't enough for your body / achievable.

AmyMgetsfit

I'm still trying to get past your MIL moving in. I love my mil dearly, but I think we would kill each other.

At any rate, you should not compare yourself to her. You are both at different stages in your life for one thing.

progressnotperfection84

I agree with others who have said to NOT compare yourself to others. Have you tried upping your calorie goal? Maybe changing up your workout routine entirely. More water too! Your only competition is yourself NOT your MIL. 1200 calories isn't something alot of people can carry on with for long periods of time...especially if you are doing a lot of exercise, you might not be eating back enough to properly fuel your body.

Fuzzipeg

You do not say how tall you are, but at 154 lb, if you were 5 ft 4 inches you would only be about 14 lb or so away from where I want to be. Being close to goal slows things down. You are ok. Ignore what is going on about you. You have everything before you. I'm on a plateau at 196, but my bmi and body fat% is changing with no visible signs, it could be similar for you.

(You are loosing now and you can make it the once. edited in)

Live for yourself and your husband.

All the very best, take care

conniemaxwell5

This isn't a competition between you and your MIL. Focus on your goals, your methods and your results. Encourage her as she does the same. Work on developing a relationship with your MIL instead of comparing yourself to her.

AA1ex

One word, STOP!

STOP comparing yourself to her (an older woman who has had surgery). If she is having relationship issues then you and your family may be less stressful for her, which in turn can help someone lose a little weight.

STOP thinking there is a time frame for you to lose your weight. Consistency will pay off if you are patient enough.

STOP drinking as much. Alcohol is sugar, if you watch your sugar in foods, why not in drinks as well.

STOP thinking of numbers. A pound a week is a great goal but you need a NSV (non scale victory) as well to aim for because it is more than numbers. (What is it you can do now that you couldn’t do three weeks ago?)

STOP stressing. This may be hard but it helps. Find time for yourself and your thoughts to relax.

Alisontheice

Like others have said stop comparing yourself to your MIL. Everyone loses weight differently so maybe she is just a fast loser. I am sure the fact that she has had this surgery in the past makes losing now easier for her.

Also I peeked at your diary and you are always over on the sugar category. I wasn't losing for awhile and noticed I was always over on sugars. Once I got that under control the weight seemed to drop off so maybe try that for a bit to jump start the weight loss.

sarahrbraun

I'm feeling a bit discouraged these days. My MIL moved in and since then she has been losing weight really quickly and already in her size 10 pants I am getting jealous! She had a bypass surgery in the past but regained the weight 10 years later -- so is this something that is helping her and I should not compare myself to her results?? Also, she cares a great deal about appearances and feel like she can't get a job or do anything in life if she doesn't lose another "10lb" and I'm starting to emulate her mentaliy about weight holding me back. Its hard for me to turn off the emotions of others but I really am trying!

I don't want this to get me down but how do I see past it? I feel like we are eating the exact same meals maybe I'm even eating less than her and she doesn't workout like crazy like I do. Am I doing something wrong??

I'm at 1200 cals but I do overeat that since most of the time I am exercising around 300-450 cals/day

Also I do drink alcohol every other day and I've had a slight hormonal shift lately after weaning so I'm thinking my body may just be retaining water still?? I am at a loss! I thought us both dieting would be supportive but now I'm just irritated! AGH! I'm afraid to tell her to not be happy about her weight loss since she's been really upset about her relationship issues and I know this is one of her rays of sunshine. Is there a way for me to think about this in a positive way? I need some other eyes on this for me please! If I can reason it away that she had surgery to help her from getting fat from her food then it would make more sense to me. Or if I am eating far too low of calories? I am aiming for a pound a week but I've been here at 154 forEVER (3 weeks ish)

I think I may have just hit one of my many plateaus and will be doomed to stay here until I do an intensive workout program or stick to 1200 like a ninja.

Don't be so hard on yourself! The scale is not everything. I have been on this journey for over 18 months, and have lost less than 40#. I didn't lose a bit for over 6 months!

this picture is over 7 months. there is only about a 3lb difference between the picture on the left and the picture on the right. Since I am wearing the same outfit, you can see how my body has changed.

2/13, 4/13, 9/13 by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

suprzonic

id do a diet break and some carb refeeds... could easily be a plateau..

i wouldn't compare your weightloss to hers... you're different people.

I agree with this. Especially because "I feel like we are eating the exact same meals maybe I'm even eating less than her and she doesn't workout like crazy like I do. " - your metabolism could be adjusted to too few cals and too much exercise as being NORMAL mode - not fat loss mode? Feeling your pain - hope it all smooths out for you real soon!