"You Don't Look that Big" | Booo :(~

DopeItUp

You're upset about people being nice and trying to spare your feelings?

MrsBozz1

I am 6'1" and I started at 210 (AT LEAST 30lbs overweight for my height) if someone found out that I was 210 it was always "No way!!! You don't look that heavy!" I am now 163lbs with about 5lbs more to say goodbye to. I carry my weight in my hips and rear end so most people looking at my skinny face/neck/shoulders/arms (that's a great list :happy: ) don't see the little bit left on my rear, and that's ok with me! People are now telling me I need to stop. "You have nothing else to loose!" People can say what they want, I'm not doing this for them, I'm doing this for ME & my hubby & my kids. For MY health. People have big opinions and they are all different so whatever... Rock this for you! Stop when you feel healthy and right! Best of luck to everyone!! :flowerforyou:

AprilMae1975

I get that a lot too...I really don't care. When I tell people that I was up to 212 they genuinely looked shocked. I mean even my husband couldn't believe I gained 40 pounds since we met. I even think I don't look as big as the number on the scale says. I know how much I weigh and how much I need to lose and really that's all that matters.

People get awkward when talking about weight and so whatever comes out can't really be taken to heart. As long as you know what the truth is and are doing something about it that's what matters

Yooperm35

after I lost weight people would say, " *I* didn't think you were *that* big to begin with".

1) I didn't do it for anyone but myself
2) on a scale from small to big - how big is *that* big?

Now I hear, "You don't need to lose anymore weight"

I'm an neither trying or not trying to lose weight. I am trying to tone and strengthen my muscles and my heart. I am going to be 45 soon and I would like to think that I am going to live another 45 years. I don't care if anyone thinks I do or I don't need to lose more weight. THE END It's for my health - looking good is an added bonus

ETA: Yes, I do have a 'goal weight'. Would I like to be at that number? Yes, for vanity reasons - do I need to be at that number? I'm not sure - I guess I'll know what my real goal weight is when I get to a point that I am happy with what I feel like

yoovie

"You don't look that big"

"Thanks - you're so sweet - wait til next year though - hahaha - im gonna blow your mind! '

"Awesome, girl, you got this!"

-happy high fives-

Quasita

I totally feel for ya! I get this all the time, people think I weigh 100+ lbs less than I actually do... Even when I tell them my pants size, show them the tags, they think it's a joke or something.

When I lost 50lbs I posted a thread on MFP and got the "you don't look that heavy" comments even on here! It's all in kindness I'm sure, but in the end, it makes it hard to get the motivation together I think. If people continually say you're fine, you start to question whether you should make any changes at all.

I also hate how people immediately say "don't put yourself down like that!" when you say that you're fat. I will declare that I'm fat and people get offended for me... and I'm like, do you not see this belly of mine? What would YOU call it?

brower47

I take compliments for what they are, compliments. They either call you fat to your face or they try to sugar coat it. I prefer the type of person that considers people's feelings before they speak. The only person that needs to be brutally honest with you, is you.

sinistras

I remember saying to my ex-husband... 'Darling, I'm lookin old!'. He said: 'You don't look THAT old'. I took that as confirmation that I was, indeed, no longer bathing in the fountain of youth - dewy of eye and rosy of cheek.

I guess compared to the 29-year-old nurse he was porking I did look quite old. Although she did have a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. He was 53 at the time! *blech* Am I sharing too much?

Love the description about her face!

maggie16sweetxoxo

No, I'm not obese, but I am not where I know I can be with my body. I hate when people tell me to not diet. First off, I'm changing my lifestyle and not putting chemical **** in my body like you, and stfu I'm sorry if you don't want me to be more attractive than you.

bajoyba

I understand what you mean. And carrying your weight proportionally does tend to confuse people. I've always been fairly proportionate (although I do carry more in my butt and thighs), but even I didn't realize how heavy I was until I stepped on the scale for the first time in years! That was my wake-up call.
I started at 235 pounds, and when I tell people how heavy I was, they rarely believe me. However, it really is a double-edged sword, because now all I hear is "You're so skinny!" "Your butt is gone!" "Don't lose anymore weight!"
I'm 5'6" and I'm still 184 pounds!

So I don't think people are necessarily lying to you deliberately. As others have said, they probably don't realize what extra weight actually looks like on a person. They may also just be used to you looking a certain way and can't imagine you looking different. I think people have such strong reactions to my size now simply because they were so used to me being larger and they liked me as I was.

FreyasRebirth

69 percent of adults (20+) in the US are "overweight". Maybe 'fat' just seems so normal nowadays that people have forgotten what healthy looks like.

Yooperm35

69 percent of adults (20+) in the US are "overweight". Maybe 'fat' just seems so normal nowadays that people have forgotten what healthy looks like.

agreed! I brought my son for a routine check up last spring and the doctor looked at me and said, "You might think he's under weight but he's EXACTLY where he needs to be percentile wise. We are so used to seeing overweight children that when we see healthy ones, we think they are under weight" - and I DID think my son was too thin!