Scared

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LifeIsSoHard
LifeIsSoHard Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone,

I'm new to MFP. I have to say, what a wonderful place MFP is. I've been reading through the forums and am amazed with how wonderfully supportive and insightful everyone is. That being said, I'm in need if some help. I don't have an incredible amount of weight to lose--30 pounds max. My problem is this: I'm scared. I don't know of what or why, but, when I start and have some success, I self-sabotage. Any thoughts,insights, suggestions would be much appreciated.

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  • RachaelStJ
    RachaelStJ Posts: 152 Member
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    First off, please feel free to add me as a friend! I have a lot of weight I want to lose, 48 pounds (although now it is 44!), but we can still encourage each other!

    MFP is the only place I turn to for support when I am trying to lose weight now. I am in the military, so most people I am with all day are already in shape and confident, and it is hard to rely on somebody who can't relate to what you are going through. My friends are the same way, or they are fine with being overweight. My family has only seen me fail every time I attempt to lose weight, so they don't take my attempts seriously any more.

    I think I am scared because I don't want people to see me losing weight, then fail at it again. It's easier for me to have them used to me being so fat and just continue to grow sideways. I dont' know if you can relate to that, but it's my 2 cents.

    Rach
  • tenilleless
    tenilleless Posts: 88 Member
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    Feel free to add me. I've got a ton of weight to lose so I'm on here everyday and I try to encourage my friends.

    I can completely relate to the fear. There is a million things going on in peoples lives 24-7 and the extra weight can be a safety blanket in our minds. For four years now I've let the weight pile on since in my mind it was an excuse for a lot of my own failings. I never went out more to be social since I was fat, I never got a boyfriend or flirted with men because I was too fat, people didn't invite me to things because I was fat. I didn't need to worry about my looks because I was already fat so it didn't matter what I wore or if I even knew how to wear makeup.
    In some twisted way in my mind it all made sense that I didn't have to do anythings because it was already a lost cause and as an antisocial nerd with high anxiety, that made me happy.
    But as I started working on my anxiety and started going out of my way to make friends, it kind of started to lose its appeal. I wanna get to the point now where I feel comfortable going out on a date, wearing a skirt and makeup and flirting with a cute man. I want to be able to enter a crowd and feel like a tall amazonian goddess instead of feeling like a she-hulk. I want people to stop thinking I'm 30+, to stop thinking I'm "obviously the mother" of my little cousins and to be able to know that I can do whatever little challenges the world presents to me.

    I know everyone thinks of things differently, but what I did when I started MFP last month is that I litterally sat down with a piece of paper and a pen and I did out a pros and cons list of what I could do if I was 175 lbs vs what I could do at 292, and while I'm sure your list won't be as dramatic as mine, I'm sure there's a lot of things you'd be more comfortable doing at a lower weight.

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