Dealing with Diet Saboteurs (Family)

Aishteru85

I have only started this journey less than two months ago and I have been making great progress. So far I have lost 12 kgs (26lbs), by counting calories (and eating healthily) and exercising 6 days a week. I have great support here on MFP, great friends who motivate me to go further. But at home, I feel that only my mom and dad are slightly supporting me in losing weight but my siblings have been nothing but unhelpful and condescending and sometimes downright mean. (I still live with my parents and so do my siblings, where I live, we dont have the whole "leaving the nest" until of course we get married or work in another town). Truth be told that both my elder sister and my brother are obese as well. My sister has about 120lbs to lose and my brother has about 30lbs to lose.

It's upsetting that they try to belittle every little success I have like for example, I no longer sound like a hyperventilating hippo when climbing four flight of stairs. My sister would make rude remarks like "You wanna show off that you're fit now huh? Like I'll ever be jealous of that" and she will try to exclude me in any family events and especially around food to make me feel isolated "Like, oh, i didnt invite you because you dont eat this stuff right?" and my younger brother would make comments like "Oh, so you can't eat this? I pity you ..how miserable to be eating like that" or he would just dangle junk food that i use to gorge like mad in front of me repeatedly in an attempt to make me cave. I have of course stood firm, but then again I'm only human, I'm afraid that one day I'll falter and start binging.

Truth be told, I'm not miserable, I dont deprive myself of anything, I just control my portion and try to eat more veges and fruits and up my protein intake and lower my carb somewhat, I allow myself cheat days and I still get to eat what I want (within reasons of course). I have never felt healthier in a long time than I feel right now. My clothes are getting loose and I have been seeing lots NSV improvements here and there.

This journey of mine has somehow strained my relationships with my siblings that are already strained to begin with. And being spoken to so condescendingly and being constantly teased, makes me feel angry. I wonder if anyone has had experience dealing with this kind of situation? I cant really talk about things openly with my siblings as we don't have that "kind" of relationships. Telling them off would just make it worse.Any suggestions and Advice would be really appreciated. Thank You

christinalong1991

IF your old enough it sounds like its time for you to leave the nest, whether your family does or not!! Sounds like these people are not very nice and if you think about it, are they the reason that you are overweight to begin with? Anyone who condescends you for bettering yourself does not deserve any of your time or attention. Or, whether you have that kind of relationship or not, tell them that you are pissed off at how they talk to you and how dare they treat you that way for choosing to be healthy, unlike them. If you don't feel comfortable with those options, then just ignore them, and continue to find the support through your friends, and here onMFP to keep you going strong! It must be hard to keep going with that type of negativity, but as cliche as this is, it will make you stronger, I would imagine you would be less likely to gain the weight back having to fight for the loss the way you are.... good luck!

kiwitechgirl

They're jealous that you have the willpower and strength to succeed in your weight loss goals where they don't. My advice would be don't react - they want you to break, don't give them the satisfaction. Smile, nod, and keep doing what you're doing.

ninerbuff

They're not saboteurs but just unsupportive. Of course that doesn't make you journey any easier, but trust me when I say that you're not the only person who deals with this daily. Someone is always going to rock the boat. Just be steadfast. Grow thick skin and don't let negative opinions deter you. It's always going to be sweeter in the end when you reach goal because you had to deal with it as an obstacle.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Nimnyn

You mention that your siblings are heavy, are your parents as well? It could be that they're jealous of your success or that they think that you are trying to change to be "less like the family" so they feel threatened. Sometimes heavier friends or family try to keep you from succeeding at eating healthy because they miss having someone to eat with, so they'll sabotage you. If they are adults, maybe you can sit down and have an adult conversation with them individually about the problem. And if they can't stop being jack**ses to you, then you might need to reduce your exposure to the toxic and disrespectful environment.

froeschli

We all have a hard time seeing people change. Especially if they are going in an "unexpected" direction.
Your siblings may just have the issue of not wanting to be reminded what they ought to be doing themselves.
My mon used to rub each and every one of her fad diets in my face, and one day I just plain told her to shut up unless she was actually going to stick with it for more than two weeks. Yeah, not very nice, but her nagging grated on me... Point being, don't advertise your diet/new lifestyle - we all tend to do it once we believe we've "figured it out". But it can really get on everyone's last nerve. People will catch on when they want to, and even then it will take them a while to admit it.
Stick with what you're doing, let everyone else do as they like, respond, don't react, and decide what's best for you. Maybe address the proverbial elephant in the room and talk to them openly - They may even somehow be thinking they are supporting you by keeping you away from temptation. You won't know unless you ask.

Aishteru85

Thanks everyone!

pkoll

You are doing a good thing for yourself. I'm sorry you have to live with such demeaning behavior from your family. Keep doing what your doing in spite of them. Good luck!

Hildy_J

That's hard. It's pretty obvious they get a kick out of putting you down. You know there's no rule about keeping toxic family members in your life (or anyone else who brings you down) - or about leaving home. Anyone who truly loves and cares about you will support and encourage you no matter what you do or what size you are. Perhaps begin to disengage, although it sounds like you are already - you're finding your own way.

Keep going honey, in a year's time they'll still be mean but you'll be slim and fit. xx