Tired of the put downs :c

Autolia

Hi! I'm Lin and I'm new here to MFP. I'm a twenty (going on twenty one) college student. Five days of my week, 7 hours a day, I'm working as a waitress/server for a restaurant and a retirement home. I take online courses, so I do homework as soon as I come home or on the weekends. Recently, my mom has started telling me how much bigger I've gotten and that I'm, "Honestly getting fatter." My mom has criticized my weight and overall physical appearance much of my life. During my junior year in high school, I started eating healthier and incorporating some exercise into my daily life after I got home from school. I had went from 130 lbs to 115 lbs. Over the course of 2-3 years, I stopped my healthy eating habits and fell back into eating fried foods, lots of rice, dishes with a lot of unhealthy ingredients (coconut milk, fast food, etc.) and drinking a lot of soda and no water. I weigh even more than before now, coming in at 140 lbs.

This is the heaviest I've been and I don't feel comfortable in my body, especially since I'm constantly getting reminded about how "fat" I am. I had times where I'd look in the mirror and become really depressed. I'm motivated to eat healthier and work harder to attain not just my goal weight, but a healthier lifestyle in the long run and a happier more confident me. I'm struggling to find time to workout for at least an hour in my current schedule since I'm constantly walking/standing 7 hours a day. I'm planning on working out as soon as I get home from work, which is around 7:30 PM.

I would appreciate some thoughts and suggestions as to how to work exercise into my schedule and some advice on healthier eating! c:

Cole7612

Being a waitress is a physically demanding job, when I was a waitress and started to eat healthy I would go to workout as soon as I got off work I would take work out clothes with me to work so I could change and just go because when you get off work and sit down you finally notice how tired you actually are. I use to work 3pm to 9 pm and then workout from 9:30 to 10:30-11. Once you get started with your routine it will get easier to manage. Hope this helps a little.

Good Luck!!!

BrainyBurro

Hi! I'm Lin and I'm new here to MFP. I'm a twenty (going on twenty one) college student. Five days of my week, 7 hours a day, I'm working as a waitress/server for a restaurant and a retirement home. I take online courses, so I do homework as soon as I come home or on the weekends. Recently, my mom has started telling me how much bigger I've gotten and that I'm, "Honestly getting fatter." My mom has criticized my weight and overall physical appearance much of my life. During my junior year in high school, I started eating healthier and incorporating some exercise into my daily life after I got home from school. I had went from 130 lbs to 115 lbs. Over the course of 2-3 years, I stopped my healthy eating habits and fell back into eating fried foods, lots of rice, dishes with a lot of unhealthy ingredients (coconut milk, fast food, etc.) and drinking a lot of soda and no water. I weigh even more than before now, coming in at 140 lbs.

This is the heaviest I've been and I don't feel comfortable in my body, especially since I'm constantly getting reminded about how "fat" I am. I had times where I'd look in the mirror and become really depressed. I'm motivated to eat healthier and work harder to attain not just my goal weight, but a healthier lifestyle in the long run and a happier more confident me. I'm struggling to find time to workout for at least an hour in my current schedule since I'm constantly walking/standing 7 hours a day. I'm planning on working out as soon as I get home from work, which is around 7:30 PM.

I would appreciate some thoughts and suggestions as to how to work exercise into my schedule and some advice on healthier eating! c:

"eating healthier" is a meaningless phrase when it comes to weight loss.

for weight loss, it's about how much you eat, not what you eat. to start losing weight, eat at a modest calorie deficit from your TDEE and you'll start losing weight.

nutritionally speaking, focus on your macro- and micro-nutrients. the foods you choose to eat aren't that important, so long as you can verify that you are meeting your fats and protein goals, as well as your vitamins and minerals needs.

exercise doesn't have to be a big production about going to the gym. if you have 30 minutes of free time, go for a walk or a run. that's how you fit it into your busy schedule.

get started UNDERSTANDING the weight loss process by reading these threads.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

regarding your mom... she wants the best for you, but also realize that her harping on your weight is not just about you. it's as much her issue as it is yours. maybe start by asking her why your weight is such a big deal to her. perhaps when she was young, her mom did the same thing to her...

DeeJayShank

Hi, Lin. Welcome to MFP.

First things first: don't worry about the naysayers. In life, you will undoubtedly meet people who are jealous of the success of others. There is no sense in indulging their egos. Just do what you gotta do, and measure your success your own way.

I recommend first that you set a far-reaching goal for yourself, and then set mini-goals to help track your progress toward the finish line. For example, commit to a 2500 calorie deficit every week, and just make sure you hit it no matter what! Not every day is going to be perfect, but you can still have a perfect week if you plan ahead. Don't worry about the scale; just make sure you keep that deficit every week!

If you're having trouble exercising after work, then try to exercise before work. That way, if you have to skip in the morning for any reason, there's still a chance you can get some exercise after work. The added bonus is that your morning workout will allow you to start your day on a high note, thus giving you confidence and energy the rest of the day.

Always remember that you can't out-exercise a bad diet. Most of the work involved in maintaining a healthy body composition is earned at the dinner table, and not on the treadmill. I've talked to numerous fitness experts about this very fact, and all of them agree that 70% to 80% of a person's weight loss success is determined by diet, and not exercise.

Don't forget to lift (heavy) weights; strength training builds muscle, and muscle will allow you to eat more without gaining weight, as well as give you definition (and definition = confidence). Many young women are afraid of the weight room, and stick to the elliptical. This is a big mistake. For improved body composition, strength training is far superior to cardio. You can lose just as much weight in the weight room as you can on the treadmill, and you'll become stronger and leaner with resistance training than you could ever become from running all day. I can't say this enough: every woman I have ever known to have started a strength training program has been so happy that they did.

MFP is all about empowering you to make the right diet and exercise decisions every day. It's also about making sure that you hold yourself accountable. When you record everything you eat, you suddenly realize how little food you actually need to live. You start eating to live, and not living to eat. In our society, so much revolves around food, and most of it is barely fit for human consumption. But most people on MFP "see the light" after a couple of months and realize that regularly eating burgers and pizza is just about as foolish as smoking a pack of cigarettes.

Some of your friends may try to pressure you into eating poorly alongside them. Just ask yourself: if they were asking you to smoke or do drugs, would you say yes? We don't typically think of food as a drug, but it certainly has the ability to be just as destructive.

My advice comes from a good place. I lost over 50 lbs once I figured out that what most people eat (and consequently, what I was eating) is NOT healthy. I now focus on getting the proper macros (protein/fat/carbs) every day, and I record it all in MFP. I also live by a simple rule: if what you're about to eat has more than 3 ingredients in it, then it's probably not good for you.

Again, welcome to MFP, and congratulations on taking the first huge step in an awesome journey ahead.

torred06

I follow one simple rule for healthy eating....if it has more than one ingredient I don't buy it, I don't eat it.
I understand how you feel. I was always being reminded "how fat I was" by my parents. It sucks. I came to the realization that food is just as addictive as any drug. Not only the pleasure we derive from eating but our society as a whole has been conditioned to eat at the drop of a hat.
Breaking that habit is super hard. Once I started the one ingredient plan and stayed on it, it became easier. Now I just eat to live. I enjoy what I eat but take no pleasure from it. Food is fuel, that's it.
Start thinking like that instead of in terms of "dieting" and it may help. It did for me.
Good luck.

DeeJayShank

Torred, sounds like you and I found a similar path. Congratulations on your mega weight loss. WOW!

Autolia

Thanks so much for everyone's input! I have an issue with eating because I don't eat ENOUGH. I'll eat maybe once or twice a day, and I'd eat things all at once. My choices of food is questionable too. Afterwards, I'd feel bloated and just don't wanna move.

Sporteee

Do your very best to remember a couple of things you like about your mom. And when she is awful, if you can, tell her "Mom, if you cannot say anything nice, please don't say anything at all."

Then turn from her and walk away. Avoid her. Take care of yourself. Try to forgive her she clearly has her own problems. Try your best to divorce her problems from your problems and remember that you have to take care of yourself emotionally.

It is really too bad that she cannot be supportive, but accept it and get your encourgement from friends, this website, meeting your own goals, etc.

I have a critical mom.. then I married a critical man.. it was a disaster.. I am much older than you are... don't let it happen to you. Learn to stand up for yourself and get away from the criticism. Learn some affirmations.

It is worth fighting the mental battle so that when you feel down or stressed you don't eat or drink the wrong things. Every human is precious and deserves to be treated well. However.. most of us are messed up. So start by treating yourself well and realize we cannot fix those around us, only how we react to people.

zany2damax

Your mama should be proud of you you sound like a real go getter. You should tell her her comments just add more stress to what you already have and that it's strange that YOUR weight bothers her so much. It really sounds like her weight is always are her mind and it eats at her. You could point that out but you might hit a nerve. It's so easy for people to project their own insecurities so heavily upon others.