Too Fat for Fifteen

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  • 2BaNewMe2
    2BaNewMe2 Posts: 102 Member
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    Ha! Figured it out!! Reply with "Quote"...lol
  • exercisesucks
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    Wow..... what a thread, I've gone through it in three sittings and am almost scared to post!!!! :wink: :laugh:

    My daughter is 10 years old. She is a lovely size for her height (dinky!) But I do send VERY clear messages to her and have done all her life.... If she doesn't eat her meal, she is allowed NOTHING later other than fruit, a message that she is now old enough to see the logic in and repeats back to me (regularly!!)

    There are three adults in the house and we all practice what we preach with this one too.

    She is praised if she eats healthily and makes good choices, I DO NOT let her eat what she wants when she wants..... like so many of you, we have a Wii, PS3, XBox, DS etc etc...... but where is my daughter???? Outside.... cycling, skates, skateboard, football, building dens, in the park. I am lucky that our house overlooks a green so she has a HUGE safe area to play on right in front of us.

    At school she plays the flute, tag rugby, football and dance.

    She also PREFERS water to anything else, but will have the odd glass of soda, milk, milkshake or juice.... but still prefers the water.

    Her school ONLY allows water to drink, and must be provided in clear bottles so that it can be checked.

    In the UK, our little ones are actually being taught about healthy eating and that message has been brought through from the age of 5.

    Our family has also signed up to "Change4Life" in the UK http://www.nhs.uk/Change4Life/Pages/walk-for-life.aspx

    And...... the worst bit is, all the adults in our house are obese or morbidly obese!!!!! Ouch (hence being on here!!!) I do, (gotta laugh at the previous comment!!!) have a very underactive thyroid as well as ME/ CFS/ Fibromyalgia..... but she still sees us trying to rectify the situation........

    Well done! In my opinion, parenting isn't about being perfect. It is about helping our children avoid making the same mistakes we did. I commend you on your efforts.
  • lee112780
    lee112780 Posts: 419 Member
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    I was a chunky kid. Both parents had to work, and I pretty much was allowed to eat whatever I wanted. A little neglectful? Yes. Abuse?? Very far from it. My brother is close to 500 lbs, he is 40 years old and he still blames my parents for giving him whatever he wanted. I say, grow up! Youre a big boy. My parents did give him whatever he wanted, and sad to say, the way they handled us being overweight ( the word FAT is wrong..it just is..especially when u are speaking about or too a child) was just wrong.
    So I ask parents this, what would you do if youre child ended up overweight anyway? You know, they get to a certain age when they can go out with friends and buy whatever treats they want. Do you put a teenager on a diet? Because in my mind, thats a type of abuse too. I was put on slim fast when I was 10 years old...insane, and stupid. My father ( who I love, but did make mistakes) would tease me and call me fat. That word hurts!! One min I am allowed to eat whatever, then all of a sudden, I am bigger than all the othetr kids and I have to drink slim fast? You wanna know what happened when he teased me and thought he was helping me with tough love? I gained a lot more. I didnt lose the weight untill I gotto college and realized my parents were wrong. I think the teasing was abuse, because it made everything a lot worse. I still remember some of the things that my father and other so called adults said to me. They burn in my memory.
    So if you concider it abuse or not, thats up to you. You should know that there are many chubby kids out there with thin parents. IF it does happen, please make sure you handle it the right way. Its better for a kid to be chubby than for there self esteem to be ruined because their mom didnt think they were pretty enough. Get them into sports, cook healthy, but dont call them fat. Thats the WORST thing u can do. Putting them on a fad diet or much worse a TV show, could really ruin their self esteem. Im sad for them.


    I agree with you on your dad calling you fat. My father always referred to me as "elephant" or "whale", but that was his way (Love and miss him dearly). I was not "fat" at this time. I however, was bigger than other girls my age (5'8", 164lbs). My friends were all petite, but I am a built large person even at my "ideal" weight. I think, even tho my dad didn't mean to be mean, that had alot to do with my weight getting so out of control (over 320lbs at one time). My parents weren't aware themselves of nutrition (my mom still isn't. She is diabetic and does not control her sugar well) and eating right, but they didn't overindulge us.

    Being a parent myself, I did not encourage my children to overeat, nor did I encourage them to eat healthy, because I was not brought up that way. However, I do not call them names that will demean them. I am not a big fan of fruits, so as an adult and parent, I never had a lot of fruit in the house. In hindsight, I wish I did, if just for the kids. But along the same grounds, I did not have a lot of unhealthy "snacks" either.

    My youngest (21) still lives at home and he is really making fun of our "lifestyle change". He actually commented on me counting out my Sun Chips at dinner (grilled hamburger on whole grain bun). He calls all of our whole grain pasta "fake pasta". But he eats it without complaint of taste. All 3 of my sons are overweight in various degrees. I now encourage them to make a change to their eating habits as well (since I have learned the difference, myself). Of course, they are all old enough to make the choices themselves. Was I an abusive parent by not being educated on living healthy? I don't think so. I agree parents are responsible for their children's health. But a lot of parents, me included (prior to lifestyle change), think health is only illness related.

    Anyway, I have not seen the show, so I cannot say if these parents are abusive or not. That's my opinion.

    You AGREE with my father calling me fat, as a child? How could you agree with something like that? IT MADE ME EAT MORE...it is absolutly the WRONG way to approach a child.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    I was a chunky kid. Both parents had to work, and I pretty much was allowed to eat whatever I wanted. A little neglectful? Yes. Abuse?? Very far from it. My brother is close to 500 lbs, he is 40 years old and he still blames my parents for giving him whatever he wanted. I say, grow up! Youre a big boy. My parents did give him whatever he wanted, and sad to say, the way they handled us being overweight ( the word FAT is wrong..it just is..especially when u are speaking about or too a child) was just wrong.
    So I ask parents this, what would you do if youre child ended up overweight anyway? You know, they get to a certain age when they can go out with friends and buy whatever treats they want. Do you put a teenager on a diet? Because in my mind, thats a type of abuse too. I was put on slim fast when I was 10 years old...insane, and stupid. My father ( who I love, but did make mistakes) would tease me and call me fat. That word hurts!! One min I am allowed to eat whatever, then all of a sudden, I am bigger than all the othetr kids and I have to drink slim fast? You wanna know what happened when he teased me and thought he was helping me with tough love? I gained a lot more. I didnt lose the weight untill I gotto college and realized my parents were wrong. I think the teasing was abuse, because it made everything a lot worse. I still remember some of the things that my father and other so called adults said to me. They burn in my memory.
    So if you concider it abuse or not, thats up to you. You should know that there are many chubby kids out there with thin parents. IF it does happen, please make sure you handle it the right way. Its better for a kid to be chubby than for there self esteem to be ruined because their mom didnt think they were pretty enough. Get them into sports, cook healthy, but dont call them fat. Thats the WORST thing u can do. Putting them on a fad diet or much worse a TV show, could really ruin their self esteem. Im sad for them.


    I agree with you on your dad calling you fat. My father always referred to me as "elephant" or "whale", but that was his way (Love and miss him dearly). I was not "fat" at this time. I however, was bigger than other girls my age (5'8", 164lbs). My friends were all petite, but I am a built large person even at my "ideal" weight. I think, even tho my dad didn't mean to be mean, that had alot to do with my weight getting so out of control (over 320lbs at one time). My parents weren't aware themselves of nutrition (my mom still isn't. She is diabetic and does not control her sugar well) and eating right, but they didn't overindulge us.

    Being a parent myself, I did not encourage my children to overeat, nor did I encourage them to eat healthy, because I was not brought up that way. However, I do not call them names that will demean them. I am not a big fan of fruits, so as an adult and parent, I never had a lot of fruit in the house. In hindsight, I wish I did, if just for the kids. But along the same grounds, I did not have a lot of unhealthy "snacks" either.

    My youngest (21) still lives at home and he is really making fun of our "lifestyle change". He actually commented on me counting out my Sun Chips at dinner (grilled hamburger on whole grain bun). He calls all of our whole grain pasta "fake pasta". But he eats it without complaint of taste. All 3 of my sons are overweight in various degrees. I now encourage them to make a change to their eating habits as well (since I have learned the difference, myself). Of course, they are all old enough to make the choices themselves. Was I an abusive parent by not being educated on living healthy? I don't think so. I agree parents are responsible for their children's health. But a lot of parents, me included (prior to lifestyle change), think health is only illness related.

    Anyway, I have not seen the show, so I cannot say if these parents are abusive or not. That's my opinion.

    You AGREE with my father calling me fat, as a child? How could you agree with something like that? IT MADE ME EAT MORE...it is absolutly the WRONG way to approach a child.

    I think you misread the post...the poster said "I agree with YOU on your dad calling you fat." Meaning, they agree with how it gets burned into your memory and how it makes you feel worse instead of motivated.
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
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    I would give those parents a "D" grade for their help with their kids while the kids were home. A "D" grade after last night show is being nice. Tanisha's mother that the NERVE to say that she expected Tanisha to lose more weight during her time home. Her mom is a joke!!!
  • exercisesucks
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    I would give those parents a "D" grade for their help with their kids while the kids were home. A "D" grade after last night show is being nice. Tanisha's mother that the NERVE to say that she expected Tanisha to lose more weight during her time home. Her mom is a joke!!!

    I never wanted to grab a person and shake them so bad as I did last night. Tanisha's mother is a horrible horrible parent. Her child was OVER 500 POUNDS! Her mother continued to go to fast food places and eat crap and would not help her daughter eat healthy. And she had the nerve to talk smack about the girls weight loss. Tanisha is going to lose all the weight she needs to and it will be without her sh!#y mother's help. The girl went from being bed ridden to being able to walk a 5K on a basketball court. This is clearly a case that shows that this child is in a bad home environment. She got up to over 500 lbs. at home and lost it at camp. She comes back home and the same NEGLECTFUL/UNSUPPORTIVE parent is the catalyst for unhealthy eating in that household.

    If you choose to have children it is your responsibility to ensure that you teach your children how to eat healthy and exercise. Your children follow your non verbal messages as well as the speeches you give them.
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
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    Tanisha's mom actually said she felt that the counselor was attacking her about supporting Tanisha. I think the counselor was very tactful about it. Also, it showed how much she cared about Tanisha to waste time talking to an idiot like that.
  • PhillyDerbyDoll
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    I love this show. The main reason I'm stuck on it is Tanisha...she is the one who came in at 510lbs. I like her because, despite having the most obstacles...morbidly obese, terrible knee troubles, etc., she is the one who *****es the least, tries the hardest, and really keeps her goals in sight.

    Scotty is unbearable to watch. Those crying fits are just too much. His Mother taking him out to an all you can eat Chinese buffet was beyond all understanding. My fiancé and I tinkered with making a "drinking game" while we watched the show...everytime Scotty cried, we'd take a shot. I ended up vetoing that idea because we both would be blind drunk before the first commercial break!

    Poor 11 year old Emily. I do think 11 is probably too young to be away from home for months on end and she was not even that heavy. Her parents are sending her back to lose the last 20lvs or so and I just wonder if that is something that could just be accomplished if her Mom went to a couple classes at the gym with her every week.

    I think, while some think 'fat' is an offensive term, this show could help some teen at home get on the right track by motivating them and showing them the struggles and triumphs that go along with losing weight...and as someone who is far from being a teen, I always pick up a good diet tidbit too!
  • Scorpiomom222
    Scorpiomom222 Posts: 1,462 Member
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    It's abuse and neglect in my opinion. Abuse because they are harming the child in the long run, and neglect of their health needs and overall wellbeing. They are selfish *kitten* to me. Sorry, but I can put in my body what I want, but kids normally eat what their parents give them, so it's the parent's fault.
  • lee112780
    lee112780 Posts: 419 Member
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    I was a chunky kid. Both parents had to work, and I pretty much was allowed to eat whatever I wanted. A little neglectful? Yes. Abuse?? Very far from it. My brother is close to 500 lbs, he is 40 years old and he still blames my parents for giving him whatever he wanted. I say, grow up! Youre a big boy. My parents did give him whatever he wanted, and sad to say, the way they handled us being overweight ( the word FAT is wrong..it just is..especially when u are speaking about or too a child) was just wrong.
    So I ask parents this, what would you do if youre child ended up overweight anyway? You know, they get to a certain age when they can go out with friends and buy whatever treats they want. Do you put a teenager on a diet? Because in my mind, thats a type of abuse too. I was put on slim fast when I was 10 years old...insane, and stupid. My father ( who I love, but did make mistakes) would tease me and call me fat. That word hurts!! One min I am allowed to eat whatever, then all of a sudden, I am bigger than all the othetr kids and I have to drink slim fast? You wanna know what happened when he teased me and thought he was helping me with tough love? I gained a lot more. I didnt lose the weight untill I gotto college and realized my parents were wrong. I think the teasing was abuse, because it made everything a lot worse. I still remember some of the things that my father and other so called adults said to me. They burn in my memory.
    So if you concider it abuse or not, thats up to you. You should know that there are many chubby kids out there with thin parents. IF it does happen, please make sure you handle it the right way. Its better for a kid to be chubby than for there self esteem to be ruined because their mom didnt think they were pretty enough. Get them into sports, cook healthy, but dont call them fat. Thats the WORST thing u can do. Putting them on a fad diet or much worse a TV show, could really ruin their self esteem. Im sad for them.


    I agree with you on your dad calling you fat. My father always referred to me as "elephant" or "whale", but that was his way (Love and miss him dearly). I was not "fat" at this time. I however, was bigger than other girls my age (5'8", 164lbs). My friends were all petite, but I am a built large person even at my "ideal" weight. I think, even tho my dad didn't mean to be mean, that had alot to do with my weight getting so out of control (over 320lbs at one time). My parents weren't aware themselves of nutrition (my mom still isn't. She is diabetic and does not control her sugar well) and eating right, but they didn't overindulge us.

    Being a parent myself, I did not encourage my children to overeat, nor did I encourage them to eat healthy, because I was not brought up that way. However, I do not call them names that will demean them. I am not a big fan of fruits, so as an adult and parent, I never had a lot of fruit in the house. In hindsight, I wish I did, if just for the kids. But along the same grounds, I did not have a lot of unhealthy "snacks" either.

    My youngest (21) still lives at home and he is really making fun of our "lifestyle change". He actually commented on me counting out my Sun Chips at dinner (grilled hamburger on whole grain bun). He calls all of our whole grain pasta "fake pasta". But he eats it without complaint of taste. All 3 of my sons are overweight in various degrees. I now encourage them to make a change to their eating habits as well (since I have learned the difference, myself). Of course, they are all old enough to make the choices themselves. Was I an abusive parent by not being educated on living healthy? I don't think so. I agree parents are responsible for their children's health. But a lot of parents, me included (prior to lifestyle change), think health is only illness related.

    Anyway, I have not seen the show, so I cannot say if these parents are abusive or not. That's my opinion.

    You AGREE with my father calling me fat, as a child? How could you agree with something like that? IT MADE ME EAT MORE...it is absolutly the WRONG way to approach a child.

    I think you misread the post...the poster said "I agree with YOU on your dad calling you fat." Meaning, they agree with how it gets burned into your memory and how it makes you feel worse instead of motivated.


    ohhh thanks for clearing that up!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    lol I was just testing a photo out ...don't mind me :)
  • Lola_B
    Lola_B Posts: 19 Member
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    I know this is an old post, but I think there's a lot of really great comments.

    My two cents: my parents did everything in their power (and spent a lot of money) to help me keep my weight under control as a teen -- doctors, camps, nutritionists, personal trainers -- you name it, they tried it. They bought healthy foods and encouraged me to eat smaller portions. There was nothing more they could have done. Granted, I was only about 10 lbs overweight until I hit puberty and then balloned ... but by the time I was 16 I was about 240 lbs (5'10"). I don't think you can always blame the parents. I would sneak food and binge and hated feeling like I was being watched. It doesn't take crap food to make a fat person. I would binge on fat free popcorn and carrots dipped in fat free sour cream. I KNEW about nutrition and healthy eating, but that didn't solve the emotional eating and the need to binge. I resented the fact that my parents never ordered pizza and that we didn't have the same yummy junk food in our house that my friends did in theirs. It was the feelings of deprivation and the natural teen need to rebel that fostered emotional eating and unhealthy habits. In fact, my mom would pack my lunches for me and go out of her way to make sure they would be healthy and satisfying -- a full sandwich, sliced veggies, a piece of fruit, a yogurt... but I always loved food and I would see all these yummy treats at school and I would go and buy things there on top of my lunch. I couldn't stand to see other people eat something I felt I "couldn't" or "shouldn't" indulge in.

    I think one of the best things about the Wellspring program is that it tries to marry the emotional element that leads to being overweight with the nutritional knowledge. There are plenty of people on this site that work in the health industry and are overweight. What that says to me is that it isn't enough to know what foods are healthy and what a "normal" portion is -- there is so much more to it than that!