I need dating Advice

MackieMotivation
MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hi all!

I became single aroun 6 months ago after spending 3 years in a relationship and I've recently started dating again.
After meeting a nice chap at a friend’s BBQ in July I have been in daily contact with him via tex, FB and some times over the phone. I've only seen this guy in person twice since, the first being on a night out which he invited me and my friend (who were out in the same area) to join him and another guy and the second time he invited me out for lunch and to play mini golf. I had a great time on both occasions, share a lot of common interests and have common views and aspirations for the future. Better still when I recently asked him if he would like to see me again he said “ that would be lovely”. However, he works offshore – 2 weeks at work and 2 weeks at home which is not an issue for me since I have a demanding job and plenty of activities to keep me busy and entertain me whilst he is away.
So last night, another guy who I met some time ago through a training course has asked me out this weekend. I also have a lot in common with this second chap but I know a lot less about him since we havn’t spoken that regularly since we met earlier in the year. I fancy both guys physically and both are great fun to be around.

The advice I need is, do I go out with the second chap and see how that goes? Should I feel guilty and what the hell should I wear?!?!

Thanks in advance peeps :D

E xxx

Replies

  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Of course you go out with the 2nd guy! Dont be a fool. You're not married to the other guy. Next time he should make plans with you sooner.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    1) Yes you should meet up with the other chap.
    2) No, you shouldn't feel guilty.
    3) Wear whatever you feel comfortable with.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    You are 27. Go have fun and weigh your options. As for what to wear...I would think you will look great no matter what you wear.
  • MackieMotivation
    MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
    Thank you Sunglasses_an, I agree, the first guy needs to invite me quicker since I'm becoming impatient!!

    msf74, I am terrible at making small decisions, I love you bullet point no BS answers! I need more guidance like that in my life haha.

    Exxxxx
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    You haven't established a relationship with the first guy, therefore you should not feel bad in the least about seeing the 2nd guy. I'm a single mother and in the same boat. Demanding, busy schedule. You really should see what happens and enjoy yourself.:flowerforyou:

    And clothes would depend on what the date is!! But wear a favorite outfit (sexy and comfy) so you will feel your best.

    -Tam
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    Yup go on the date! and Follow Tams advice on an outfit :) HAVE FUNNNN!
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  • FixIngMe13
    FixIngMe13 Posts: 405 Member
    You are 27. Go have fun and weigh your options. As for what to wear...I would think you will look great no matter what you wear.

    ^^^ this.
  • jammet80
    jammet80 Posts: 96 Member
    You're dating. Not in a committed relationship. So date. Have fun. Learn about yourself. Get to know different people. Things have a way of working out.
  • Hezzietiger1
    Hezzietiger1 Posts: 1,256 Member
    until your facebook official party on. :P
  • MackieMotivation
    MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
    I just might do an outfit post! It's a casual date so I'll get my thinking cap on :)

    Thanks Harvo :D you're a gent!

    Exxxxx
  • MackieMotivation
    MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
    haha Hezzietiger1, you're sooooo right!!

    Exxxxx
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
    Go out with the new guy. Its just a date, not a commitment.
  • jazi719
    jazi719 Posts: 150 Member
    You're not exclusive, go out and have fun.

    Not too much cleavage, if any at all. Keep him wondering. Dating is nothing but a game at first.
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    I agree with everyone else :smile: I wouldn't sit around waiting for the first guy to decide what he wants.
  • simplycorey
    simplycorey Posts: 721 Member
    I think you should definitely go out with the second guy. You're not in an exclusive, committed relationship with the first guy so have fun meeting and getting to know new people. Options are good.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
    Just break up.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I think a more important question is not if you should go out with the second guy but why are you seeming to be building a "relationship" in your mind with the first one?
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    Yes, go out with the second guy...even a third guy, a 4th guy...etc. (Obviously..just dates and nothing more until you get serious)

    You owe it to yourself to look around and figure out you want without feeling guilty. Being dishonest and telling them your not dating anyone but them is a huge no no though. Just keep is casual until you KNOW thats who you want to be with. Most importantly have fun!
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    until your facebook official party on. :P

    this!

    I would be a little impatient with guy #1 at this point, especially with daily contact and only 2 face-to-face 'dates' thus far. However his job does make it a little different. It sounds like you really like him, and vice versa, but it sounds like it's not just WOW chemistry that is making you think 'this is the guy I'd like to be with' so I wouldn't put too much on that...in fact I'd probably cut back on the contact. But I'm funny like that, I am not in DAILY contact with anyone except my fiance and maybe 3-4 times a week contact with my mom (phone) or bff (text).

    I think you owe it to yourself to spend some time with guy #2 (or #3, #4...) and see what happens :-)

    oops...forgot to add clothes tips. My personal M.O. is to wear something mixing casual/cute with a tiny bit of sexy. Obviously that is gonna depend on your personal style. But I think jeans, boots or flats, and a feminine top is good. Or a skirt, sandals, t-shirt and fun scarf. Maybe just a tee, jeans, and funky earrings if you are doing something super laid back. But something that says 'flirty' and feminine along with an everyday type of outfit is always kinda good for those first dates in my opinion. NO HEELS. You never know where you'll end up and I know so many guys who are disgusted with a girl in shoes she can't go anywhere in ;-)
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Yes. Until a guy makes it clear that he wants a commitment and you agree to it, definitely feel free to date as much as you like.
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
    I would say why not...
  • msfine2328
    msfine2328 Posts: 73 Member
    You are young. And you are not committed to anyone. Go out with the other guy. Do not feel bad about any of it. Have a great time and I am sure you will look lovely in anything you wear:bigsmile:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    You're not exclusive, go out and have fun.

    Not too much cleavage, if any at all. Keep him wondering. Dating is nothing but a game at first.

    Agreed on the outfit choice.
  • MackieMotivation
    MackieMotivation Posts: 25 Member
    hanks for all the wonderful advice folks!!

    I did realise that I'm not commited to guy #1 and we are far from in a relationship, I think I just needed confirmation that its ok to spend time with more than one man since I'm out of tough with doing it...


    'flirty' and feminine along with an everyday type of outfit is definaely what I'll aim for ;)

    Exxxxx
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
    oh my!! I would say sure, go out with the other guy as its only a date. Only thing is, is if guy #1 does the same thing then it would also the right thing for him to do, even if things don't work out with guy #2. I see a lot of comments along the lines of the first guy should've asked you faster, well in reading this I get the vibe that you knew the 2nd guy longer but the 1st guy actually did indeed ask you faster.

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