Looking for balance... Any advice?

octleigh

???????

Eat the yoke... Don't eat the yoke...
Cheese in moderation... No cheese...
Carbs... No carbs...
Protein bars/powder.. Or none..
Sugar alternatives... No sugar...
Fruit... No fruit...
3 meals...4.... 5...6...
Dairy.... No dairy...
No cheats... 1 cheat... 3 cheats...
Weights over cardio... Don't do both.... Lift at least 4 days a week... Cardio on non lift days....

I am left overwhelmed. Obsessed. And yo yo dieting. I am not trying to diet. I am trying to change my way of thinking and choices that I make. What is realistic? I know I'm not going to swear off deserts or a potato chip for the rest of my life so how do I find the balance. I wake up and my health is the first thing I think about. I go to bed to the same. In two years I have tried to get healthy and I have manage to gain another 20 pounds. I need to find my way for myself and my daughter and son. I want them to live a healthy active life like its a second nature.

Thoughts??? I'm listening. Thanks for reading my thoughts!!

Escape_Artist

Eat the things you like within your calories

To lose weight you need to have a deficit, that's about it

And no, you probably won't stay away from deserts or a potato chip for the rest of your life so might as well learn to enjoy them in moderation

AllonsYtotheTardis

Eat the things you like within your calories

To lose weight you need to have a deficit, that's about it

And no, you probably won't stay away from deserts or a potato chip for the rest of your life so might as well learn to enjoy them in moderation

^^^ This

don't over complicate things.

salsera_barbie

Eat the things you like within your calories

To lose weight you need to have a deficit, that's about it

To lose weight true, but to be healthy not so much. You need to look at your macros too and make sure they are balanced.

elanaknt

I felt the same way as you when I first began but have accepted that I need to just find what I like and what works for me and kind of take everything I read with a grain of salt. Get to know yourself and your eating habits and try to accommodate them, eating more of the good for you stuff and less of the not so good.

I have found that I feel better overall, fuller and more in control of my cravings for junk when I eat mostly whole, minimally processed foods (lots of fruit and veggies and lean protein) and eat other stuff in moderation. I enjoy a fruit smoothie every morning with protein powder because it keeps me full, occasionally use Splenda in my coffee and have ice cream a few nights a week. As long as you fit it into your calorie and macro goals and balance those perhaps "questionable" items with better choices 80% of the time, you will lose weight and improve your health.

erikarobles

Girl I am in the same boat, you can look at my diary and see a calore deficit daily. I have tried to eat back my calories, I have tried to not eat back my calories. I work out every day ugh.....its exhausting. I figure that eventually something will give!!!! I ate more while I was lifting and gained....like clothes tighter gained. Now I have just gone to cardio daily to lose those pounds I gained when I increased my calories.....I wish I had some answers for you, I feel your pain!!!!!

Determined82

For me I just limit my calories. I still eat whatever I want and don't even work out. Basically I just eat the things I enjoy in moderation now and have normal serving sizes. I've managed to lose 33lbs so far doing just that so it must be working!

rml_16

Eat the things you like within your calories

To lose weight you need to have a deficit, that's about it

And no, you probably won't stay away from deserts or a potato chip for the rest of your life so might as well learn to enjoy them in moderation

QFT

Nothing to add.

ggxx100

Don't obsess! I know it seems hard to do, but it's important to not let diet and exercise be the center of your life. When I began my weight loss journey, I'd find myself browsing healthy recipes and new workout routines for hours, and it consumed my thoughts and free time. I had to remove myself from all weight focus for a while, not look at any health or diet blogs (while sticking to a generally healthy diet).

Point is, don't sweat the small stuff. Like everyone is saying, be within your calorie range and you will lose weight. If macros are stressing you out, don't pay attention for now.

A combination of cardio and weights seem to work for most...however I despise cardio and have lost without it. As for the eggs-some swear by egg whites but plenty (including me) eat yolks and full fat dairy as a part of a healthy diet. Point is, everyone's different. If you want a darn yolk, eat it.

And remember, stress releases cortisol, which makes you hungry. 'Nuff said.

LoraF83

Eat the things you like within your calories

To lose weight you need to have a deficit, that's about it

And no, you probably won't stay away from deserts or a potato chip for the rest of your life so might as well learn to enjoy them in moderation

This.

blgerig

Yes! I have lost weight and majorly toned up still drinking alcohol, eating ice cream, etc. It is important to note these things are treats and to fit them into your overall calories. My focus is on whole foods/clean eating - I try to avoid processed. That is what makes me feel healthy. It is sometimes trial and error to find what works, best of luck!

cwolfman13

Just eat a balanced diet rich in nutrient dense whole foods and stay within your calorie boundaries, all the while, treating yourself to some junk now and then.

Eat the yoke... Don't eat the yoke...

The incredible, edible egg is ounce for ounce one of themost nutrient dense foods on the planet...most of those nutrients are in the yolk..so you tell me.

Cheese in moderation... No cheese...

There is nothing inherently evil about cheese...it is largely comprised of dietary fat (which is an ESSENTIAL macro-nutrient) so it is calorie dense...so a little goes a long way.

Carbs... No carbs...

If you're at all active and work out, you need carbs...they are the rocket fuel that lets you kill your workout. Go try running a 1/2 marathon on a no carb/low carb diet...but you fall flat on your *kitten*. Carbs aren't the devil...just the latest and greatest of dietary boogie man. Carbs are just one of the three macro-nutrients...nothing more, nothing less.

Protein bars/powder.. Or none..

Completely irrelevant to weight loss...people on high protein diets or who otherwise have significant protein macro goals will supplement with protein powders and/or bars to hit those macro goals. There is nothing magical about protein powders or bars.

Sugar alternatives... No sugar...

I'm partial to the real thing...I don't have any health related issues which would prevent me from eating sugar. I manage my carbohydrate macro, I don't micromanage a singular element of that macro

Fruit... No fruit...

Can't believe this is even a question...fruit is very nutritious and high in antioxidants and other vitamins and minerals. It has sugar so can be somewhat calorie dense...a couple servings of fruit per day is awesomeness. I think where people blow it is that they just eat tons and tons of fruit (and veg) and neglect their other macro necessities.

3 meals...4.... 5...6...

It doesn't matter...meal timing and number is completely irrelevant. There is no such things as "stoking the fires of your metabolism"...you burn XXXX calories in a given 24 hour period whether you eat 6 meals per day or 1...whether you eat at 5 PM or 10 PM...completely irrelevant.

Dairy.... No dairy...

You really need to evaluate your relationship with food in general...get off of this "bad" or "good" food thing. Dairy has a lot of nutrients...it's also mostly fat (remember the dietary fat is an essential macro nutrient and you shouldn't be eliminating it)...so it's going to be calorie dense...it really just depends on where you want your fats to come from. I personally don't do a lot of dairy...I get my fats elsewhere...dairy just isn't worth it to me.

No cheats... 1 cheat... 3 cheats...

How about just eat food and stay within your calorie goals. I've been at this for over a year now and am still baffled by this concept. Just eat friggin' food.

Weights over cardio... Don't do both.... Lift at least 4 days a week... Cardio on non lift days....

Weight loss is 99.9% diet...Diet for weight control; exercise for fitness. Give yourself fitness goals that are independent of your weight loss goals...this will help direct you as to what you should be doing, how often, when, etc. Any good fitness regimen is going to incorporate both cardio (weight training for your heart and cardiovascular system) and resistance training of some form. In the absence of adequate resistance training, you lose a lot more muscle during weight loss...lost muscle = slowed metabolism...also you don't look as rockin' as you expected to when you get to goal weight because you burned up a ton of lean body mass. Cardio makes your heart and lungs stronger. In summary, you should be doing both.

Stage14

???????

Eat the yoke... Don't eat the yoke...
Cheese in moderation... No cheese...
Carbs... No carbs...
Protein bars/powder.. Or none..
Sugar alternatives... No sugar...
Fruit... No fruit...
3 meals...4.... 5...6...
Dairy.... No dairy...
No cheats... 1 cheat... 3 cheats...
Weights over cardio... Don't do both.... Lift at least 4 days a week... Cardio on non lift days....

I am left overwhelmed. Obsessed. And yo yo dieting. I am not trying to diet. I am trying to change my way of thinking and choices that I make. What is realistic? I know I'm not going to swear off deserts or a potato chip for the rest of my life so how do I find the balance. I wake up and my health is the first thing I think about. I go to bed to the same. In two years I have tried to get healthy and I have manage to gain another 20 pounds. I need to find my way for myself and my daughter and son. I want them to live a healthy active life like its a second nature.

Thoughts??? I'm listening. Thanks for reading my thoughts!!

First, stop obsessing. Personally, I'm in the "everything in moderation camp". I do try to pay attention to my macros but I don't stress about them being dead on. My personal answers to your questions up top are...


No yolk most of the time, but that's simply because I eat a lot of eggs and skipping the yolk helps with calories.

Yes to cheese! And while I don't eat a whole block at a time, I eat it whenever I want.

Yes to carbs, though I do try to keep net carbs (carbs minus fiber) under 100.

Yes to protein bars and powder, in moderation. I like them, and some protein bars are a great substitute for candy bars.

I don't worry about sugar, I just pay attention to carbs. I use sugar substitutes for some things, but not all.

Heck yes to fruit!

I eat 3 meals a day, with an afternoon snack and a bedtime snack.

Totally yes to dairy.

No cheats. I don't need them because I don't deprive myself of anything. I also don't think it's healthy to view food as "good" or "bad". If something were wrong with my marriage or if I were struggling in a class, I wouldn't incorporate in "cheats" to make myself feel better or get a better grade. I would figure out the problem, and fix it so that I was both happy and holding up my end of the commitment/passing the tests/etc. I do the same with my food intake.

I prefer weights, but I do both. I lift 3 times a week and I try to get a little cardio in at least twice a week as well. Sometimes it is on non lifting days, sometimes I do both on the same day, depending on my schedule and how I feel.


These answers are what is right for me, in order to make a sustainable life change. Others will answer differently because that is what was right for them to make a sustainable life change. In the end, weight loss is about calories in vs calories out. How you get those calories is up to you. I've been doing this for 9 or 10 weeks and losing a little over 1lb per week average, so obviously it's working for me. I just encourage you to stop thinking about it as a diet. Change your life and be patient with the weight loss. Best of luck!

Duchy82

Ignore it all, eggs are way to expensive to throw away the tastiest part of it (just my personal opinion). Diets I've done them all and I have never been able to follow certain parts like if your having roast chicken taking the skin off! Sacriledge! or egg white omeletes, no bread, low carb, no carb, only certain food combo's I couldn't stick to any of it.

What i found when i joined mfp is that when your filling in your diary you automatically start thinking about healthier alternatives to fit into your calorie intake. My general rules are make as much of it yourself and not from a packet then you know exactly what has gone in it, do some swaps with healthier options love bread like me swap as much to wholemeal or granary instead of white, soups are a brilliant way to get those veggies in, don't deny youself anything you'll only want to eat it more. Ignore all the health claims being made fat is not bad for you, too much fat is, just try and eat as much of a balanced diet as possible using foods you enjoy use the macros to help you, i found that my diet was quite high in hidden sugars(i don't tend to add sugar to anything) and that i could eat more protein so I am slowly trying to adjust that but slowly because it needs to be a change that sticks

sc0ttm0

Everyone processes foods differently.

If you have high cholesterol, don't eat yokes. If it's normal, eat them.

People get way to excited about food... I eat what I like unless my blood work tells me different.

eidc

A quote from my new favorite book " Don't eat crap"....that means no processed, no fast food, lots of whole grains, fruits, veggies, lean meat, and low fat dairy and all of that in moderation! That doesn't mean I don't slip up and have treats but if I eat well 90% of the time I feel great!

gobonas99

???????

Eat the yoke... Don't eat the yoke...
Cheese in moderation... No cheese...
Carbs... No carbs...
Protein bars/powder.. Or none..
Sugar alternatives... No sugar...
Fruit... No fruit...
3 meals...4.... 5...6...
Dairy.... No dairy...
No cheats... 1 cheat... 3 cheats...
Weights over cardio... Don't do both.... Lift at least 4 days a week... Cardio on non lift days....

I am left overwhelmed. Obsessed. And yo yo dieting. I am not trying to diet. I am trying to change my way of thinking and choices that I make. What is realistic? I know I'm not going to swear off deserts or a potato chip for the rest of my life so how do I find the balance. I wake up and my health is the first thing I think about. I go to bed to the same. In two years I have tried to get healthy and I have manage to gain another 20 pounds. I need to find my way for myself and my daughter and son. I want them to live a healthy active life like its a second nature.

Thoughts??? I'm listening. Thanks for reading my thoughts!!

As others have said, eat what you like, just make sure you stay in a deficit, and watch your macros.

As far as the specifics you've mentioned, here's my take:
1: Eggs - yolks all the way for me. they are where the flavor is, and are good for you (they have good cholesterol, not bad). plus, I hate wasting food. If I know I'm going to need extra protein, or if I've gone over (or know I will) on fat, then I'll make up some scrambled eggs with a 2-1 egg white to whole egg ratio. Only need to monitor if you already have high cholesterol.

2: Cheese - I love cheese - a nice extra sharp cheddar, aged parmasan, stinky bleu. I would DIE without cheese. So I eat cheese. I just make sure it fits into my daily calories/macros. No need to cut it out unless you are lactose intolerant and cheese bothers you (I'm LI, but small amounts of cheese don't bother me).

3: Carbs - your body needs carbs. Carbs are what you get your energy from. Without carbs, you'll be tired and won't have the energy you need to complete your workouts. If I tried to do a triathlon (or even a 10k), I would probably not finish because I wouldn't have the energy.

4: Protein bars/powders - totally up to YOU. Some people like them, some don't. Most bars taste nasty to me, so I don't eat them, but I have nothing against protein powders, and have found one that tastes good to me and do make shakes from time to time. But you don't NEED them to lose weight...supplementation is more for the fitness side than the weight loss side of things.

5: Sugar/alternatives - again totally up to you. I prefer natural sweeteners (real sugar, raw honey, maple syrup) and try to stay away from sugar alternatives (splenda, equal, etc)...but that is because I found that the alternatives make me crave junk food more. I just log what I use. Unless you're diabetic, use what you like.

6: Fruit - fruit is yummy, eat it. As with sugar, no issues, unless you're diabetic.

7: Meal timing/count - again up to you. experiment...see how you feel. Some people only eat 2 meals a day...and actually, sometimes I do that too (usually on the weekend, when I'm not up as early, and am running around all day...I'll have a late breakfast that's a little bigger than normal and dinner which will also be a little bigger than normal). I didn't like 5-6 "equal meals"...all I thought about was food. I tend to do best with 3 "normal" meals and two small snacks. Whatever you prefer is fine.

8: Dariy/no dairy - again, your choice. But there is no need to avoid, unless you are lactose intolerant (ie I can't drink milk any more, but I'm okay with yogurt so I do eat that).

9: Cheats - again up to you. I try to not deprive myself on a day-to-day basis, so don't have cheat meals. Once in a great while, we'll go out to dinner someplace where I KNOW what I want is outrageous calorie wise, so I plan for it (eat less the rest of the day and get a good workout in) although I will still go over - but that only happens maybe once a month, usually less.

10: weights/cardio - that depends on your fitness goals. weight loss is 90% diet. You can lose weight without exercise, but you can't out exercise a bad diet. In any case, a good routine will incorporate both cardio AND weights. You need resistance training to maintain/build muscle (which maintains/speeds up your metabolism) and to prevent/reduce muscle loss - it also helps prevent injury. Cardio strengthens your heart and lungs, and helps build endurance. The mix of weights/cardio will vary depending on your goals - ie my routine is pretty heavy on cardio, because I am training to build up my running distance and speed to run a half marathon and to help with my triathlons next year, so that I can do a half Ironman in 2015....but I still make sure to incorporate at least 2 (preferably 3) days of HEAVY lifting. But you need to decide what your fitness goals are before you can set your "mix".

Hope that helps some :happy:

poedunk65

Watch these 2 movies
Forks over Knives
Hungry for a Change.

Then friend me and i will help you, lol

LilBritGettinFit

Just eat a balanced diet rich in nutrient dense whole foods and stay within your calorie boundaries, all the while, treating yourself to some junk now and then.

Eat the yoke... Don't eat the yoke...

The incredible, edible egg is ounce for ounce one of themost nutrient dense foods on the planet...most of those nutrients are in the yolk..so you tell me.

Cheese in moderation... No cheese...

There is nothing inherently evil about cheese...it is largely comprised of dietary fat (which is an ESSENTIAL macro-nutrient) so it is calorie dense...so a little goes a long way.

Carbs... No carbs...

If you're at all active and work out, you need carbs...they are the rocket fuel that lets you kill your workout. Go try running a 1/2 marathon on a no carb/low carb diet...but you fall flat on your *kitten*. Carbs aren't the devil...just the latest and greatest of dietary boogie man. Carbs are just one of the three macro-nutrients...nothing more, nothing less.

Protein bars/powder.. Or none..

Completely irrelevant to weight loss...people on high protein diets or who otherwise have significant protein macro goals will supplement with protein powders and/or bars to hit those macro goals. There is nothing magical about protein powders or bars.

Sugar alternatives... No sugar...

I'm partial to the real thing...I don't have any health related issues which would prevent me from eating sugar. I manage my carbohydrate macro, I don't micromanage a singular element of that macro

Fruit... No fruit...

Can't believe this is even a question...fruit is very nutritious and high in antioxidants and other vitamins and minerals. It has sugar so can be somewhat calorie dense...a couple servings of fruit per day is awesomeness. I think where people blow it is that they just eat tons and tons of fruit (and veg) and neglect their other macro necessities.

3 meals...4.... 5...6...

It doesn't matter...meal timing and number is completely irrelevant. There is no such things as "stoking the fires of your metabolism"...you burn XXXX calories in a given 24 hour period whether you eat 6 meals per day or 1...whether you eat at 5 PM or 10 PM...completely irrelevant.

Dairy.... No dairy...

You really need to evaluate your relationship with food in general...get off of this "bad" or "good" food thing. Dairy has a lot of nutrients...it's also mostly fat (remember the dietary fat is an essential macro nutrient and you shouldn't be eliminating it)...so it's going to be calorie dense...it really just depends on where you want your fats to come from. I personally don't do a lot of dairy...I get my fats elsewhere...dairy just isn't worth it to me.

No cheats... 1 cheat... 3 cheats...

How about just eat food and stay within your calorie goals. I've been at this for over a year now and am still baffled by this concept. Just eat friggin' food.

Weights over cardio... Don't do both.... Lift at least 4 days a week... Cardio on non lift days....

Weight loss is 99.9% diet...Diet for weight control; exercise for fitness. Give yourself fitness goals that are independent of your weight loss goals...this will help direct you as to what you should be doing, how often, when, etc. Any good fitness regimen is going to incorporate both cardio (weight training for your heart and cardiovascular system) and resistance training of some form. In the absence of adequate resistance training, you lose a lot more muscle during weight loss...lost muscle = slowed metabolism...also you don't look as rockin' as you expected to when you get to goal weight because you burned up a ton of lean body mass. Cardio makes your heart and lungs stronger. In summary, you should be doing both.

This is perfectly well said! Can we be friends?? haha. Seriously, ^^^ this. :flowerforyou:

Iron_Feline

Everyone processes foods differently.

If you have high cholesterol, don't eat yokes. If it's normal, eat them.

People get way to excited about food... I eat what I like unless my blood work tells me different.

Wrong. Dietary cholesterol =/= blood cholesterol. No need to throw out the egg yolks.

Try reading this op

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

:flowerforyou:

Iron_Feline

Watch these 2 movies
Forks over Knives
Hungry for a Change.

Then friend me and i will help you, lol

Do not waste your time watching these propaganda filled, science lacking movies. :noway:

rml_16

Watch these 2 movies
Forks over Knives
Hungry for a Change.

Then friend me and i will help you, lol

OP, do not do this.

rml_16

Everyone processes foods differently.

If you have high cholesterol, don't eat yokes. If it's normal, eat them.

People get way to excited about food... I eat what I like unless my blood work tells me different.

Wrong. Dietary cholesterol =/= blood cholesterol. No need to throw out the egg yolks.

Try reading this op

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

:flowerforyou:

I think this is still a bit controversial. However, my cholesterol was high a few years ago (300) and I eat one full egg pretty much every day (the recommendation is two per week at most) and my cholesterol is down, so I lean toward what IF said.

shrinkinginQualicum

I felt the same way as you when I first began but have accepted that I need to just find what I like and what works for me and kind of take everything I read with a grain of salt. Get to know yourself and your eating habits and try to accommodate them, eating more of the good for you stuff and less of the not so good.

I have found that I feel better overall, fuller and more in control of my cravings for junk when I eat mostly whole, minimally processed foods (lots of fruit and veggies and lean protein) and eat other stuff in moderation. I enjoy a fruit smoothie every morning with protein powder because it keeps me full, occasionally use Splenda in my coffee and have ice cream a few nights a week. As long as you fit it into your calorie and macro goals and balance those perhaps "questionable" items with better choices 80% of the time, you will lose weight and improve your health.

^^^ I agree, and I do things similarly. You have to do what YOU like, not anyone else. Otherwise you'll never make it. And expect to be obsessed for a couple of years. You are doing something really hard that is new and important to you, so it will be in your head all the time. Use that to your advantage, since it can help you not make bad choices thoughtlessly. Unfortunately, it made me think about food all the time, which was tough when I was getting used to eating a little less.
Find exercises you like. No point struggling to do things you hate, because you won't keep it up. Exercise has double advantages, you can eat more, and it will make you stronger and help shape your body. I like doing weights and riding my bike. LOVE riding my bike. Try different things til you find what makes you happy. You won't like any of them all the time. There are times I never want to look at my bike ever again!

ash8184

I think your topic is correct - balance is the key. Find what works for you? I know I feel and look my best on protein and veggies. I know that if I eat sugar, or anything yeasty, I don't feel as good and I get all bloated. I have a friend who is a raw vegan, and it works for her - she looks and feels amazing. I also have paleo friends that are in great shape and feel fantastic. If you're one of those people who can't eat something in moderation, don't eat it (and at some point, you won't crave it anymore).

Hope this helps! Good luck

octleigh

Thank you all so much for taking time to reply. You all make really good suggestions. I think I will be take a few steps back and slow it down a little. I may have to read these comments a few more times along the way. I am super motivated to get it right! You can watch for me in the success category in the near future... To be continued:)