What is with this league thing?

Vain_Witch
Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok, I just saw a post about a guy who's in love with a girl who's out of his league.

I just broke up with my boyfriend this weekend, and I keep being told (even before we broke up) that I was way out of his league and to stop dating down. Some of those same friends were talking yesterday about how another one of thier friends needs to stop trying to date guys that are out of her league and she needs to settle for something less.

What the heck is this league thing?

Personally, I've never considered myself better than anyone. Granted, I have at times considered myself beneath other people, but NEVER above them. I just don't think that way.

Is it just me, or is this league thing a little silly?
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Replies

  • Miss_Meliss86
    Miss_Meliss86 Posts: 372 Member
    I think it is completely silly...people use it as an excuse to not interact with people because they think "they're out of my league, I'd never stand a chance". How can you know unless you actually get to know the person?

    I've had friends tell me the same thing about my ex. Yet we dated for almost 5 years and they never said anything about it. Part of me thinks they're saying it in an attempt to make me feel better about the breakup, which it didn't. Perhaps your friends are attempting something similar?
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    If you think that's bad, consider this.

    I'm totally out of my own league.
  • Vain_Witch
    Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
    If you think that's bad, consider this.

    I'm totally out of my own league.

    That must make for some cold lonely nights... :laugh:
  • Cavegirlbelly
    Cavegirlbelly Posts: 46
    Agreed! It's a childish appraisal of another person's value based (usually) on perceived attraction. Sometimes it's based on other factors like whether they have jobs and what the job is, but that's just another dimension of judgement based on money.

    And if it's not bad enough that these people have these opinions about others, they feel the need to share it! Which I really don't get. Because if your friend is happy with someone, who cares what these people think?

    And if sharing these opinions isn't bad enough, the "league" system is so ingrained in us that it has become yet another way for us to compare ourselves with each other and feel insecure and inadequate.

    Smh.

    I say leave all this crap. Love your self, love the one you're with. Forget the rest.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    If you watch big bang theory, I would say that the women they date are all out of their league.
    Were you dating someone like that.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    Granted, I have at times considered myself beneath other people, but NEVER above them. I just don't think that way.
    *takes a number* YAH! I'm number 1 to be above you OR beneath, I really don't care which position it is.
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    Just because it's silly doesn't make it less true
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    a league is 3000 fathoms, or roughly 3 miles.

    thus my league is a circle of radius 3 miles around my home.

    the distance between CO and GA is many hundreds of miles.

    therefore mathematically speaking... OP is way out of my league. :cry:
  • Vain_Witch
    Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
    Granted, I have at times considered myself beneath other people, but NEVER above them. I just don't think that way.
    *takes a number* YAH! I'm number 1 to be above you OR beneath, I really don't care which position it is.

    AD, I'll take you above or under...just get over here! :love: :love: :bigsmile:
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Just means your what they define has "hot" and he was what they defined as "quasimodo." Just because adult humans love to pretend they are still in high school, and need to remain in cliques and leagues. Pretend youre 14 again and you'll understand.
  • links_slayer
    links_slayer Posts: 1,151 Member
    I definitely out-kicked my coverage with my old lady.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    I think it is completely silly...people use it as an excuse to not interact with people because they think "they're out of my league, I'd never stand a chance". How can you know unless you actually get to know the person?

    I've had friends tell me the same thing about my ex. Yet we dated for almost 5 years and they never said anything about it. Part of me thinks they're saying it in an attempt to make me feel better about the breakup, which it didn't. Perhaps your friends are attempting something similar?

    This chick is totally out of my league...
  • wjstoj
    wjstoj Posts: 884 Member
    If you watch big bang theory, I would say that the women they date are all out of their league.
    Were you dating someone like that.
    ahhh...but "leagues" can be crossed. BBT guys are 9 + in intelligence, thus being able to get Priya AND Penny
  • Cavegirlbelly
    Cavegirlbelly Posts: 46
    a league is 3000 fathoms.

    ^ truth. but what's a fathom? didn't he have an opera or something :wink:
  • Vain_Witch
    Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
    I definitely out-kicked my coverage with my old lady.

    I think everyone in love should feel this way.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
    Obviously, people tend to date some one on the same level of attractiveness, and/or income, background, education, intelligence, ect as them. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Date whomever you'd like.
  • lebaker310
    lebaker310 Posts: 164 Member
    Screech and Lisa Turtle
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    If you watch big bang theory, I would say that the women they date are all out of their league.
    Were you dating someone like that.
    ahhh...but "leagues" can be crossed. BBT guys are 9 + in intelligence, thus being able to get Priya AND Penny

    its potential earning power or gross income what's a physicist make in today's market? Some women get tricked into thinking all smart guys have Bill Gates' earning power.

    Plus, media cant show nerd love the freaky sex would make it an X rating
  • BigDaddyRonnie
    BigDaddyRonnie Posts: 506 Member
    This league thing started way back with Snow White and Cinderella.

    Seriously, its true. I saw it on Once Upon a Time, and read about it on the internet.
    Women and men cannot be together if one is "better" than the other.

    Yup, saw it... it's true.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    ahhh...but "leagues" can be crossed. BBT guys are 9 + in intelligence, thus being able to get Priya AND Penny
    [/quote]

    I loved Priya but she is way out of my league, especially since I am 56
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
    :heart:

    When my husband and I first started dating, friends and (some fmaily, but he doesn;'t know any of this) said I was out of his league.

    I was always attracted to tall, dark, and handsome. He's blonde, average height (5'7), and *I* think he's very handsome.

    He has a heart of pure gold, and I've never met anyone that I mesh so well with.

    League shmeagues, the heart doesn't have any.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    If you watch big bang theory, I would say that the women they date are all out of their league.
    Were you dating someone like that.
    ahhh...but "leagues" can be crossed. BBT guys are 9 + in intelligence, thus being able to get Priya AND Penny

    Excellent point. As far as the guys I date, the looks may reel me in initially, but it's the intelligence and sense of humor (among other things) that make me want to stay.
  • ThinLizzie0802
    ThinLizzie0802 Posts: 863 Member
    Maybe the terminology is degrading, but I definitely think there should be certain levels of equality in a relationship. Levels of emotional/mental maturity, goals in life, etc, and not sharing these can make one person "out of the league" of another. It really is specific to each situation. For instance, one person making more money than the other doesn't instantly label the breadwinner as out of the league as the other, but the way money is handled, the divide of bills, the acknowledgement of hard work, stress over bills, etc can make one not a good match for the other.

    I dated someone for a long time whose long term goals and priorities were just way different than mine. And yes, I felt like I was more advanced in those areas than him. Would I say that I was out of his league? Probably, because I was willing to work harder for the things that I wanted. He wanted the same things, but wanted me to do all the work to get them and share them. He also told my dad that him and his friends were all lucky that had found rich girlfriends. I've had bfs who had different goals and priorities and I wouldn't consider us out of each other's leagues, but in the case of this gentleman I would.
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    If you watch big bang theory, I would say that the women they date are all out of their league.
    Were you dating someone like that.
    ahhh...but "leagues" can be crossed. BBT guys are 9 + in intelligence, thus being able to get Priya AND Penny

    Also doctors and one is an engineer that works for NASA....
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I would consider my wife out of my league, but, luckily, looks were not the main concern for her.
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    Fitz and the Tantrums have officially invaded MFP.

    Personally, I think it's kind of true. If you're a good natured person and you're dating a scum bag crack dealer... well, you're out of that person's league.

    Just like if you're the crack dealer, I'm out of YOUR league... but if it's Molly we're all good.
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    My friends have told me on more than one occasion that they are genuinely surprised I married my husband based on the silliest things (he's handsome, I'm average, he's in amazing shape/muscular, I'm in average shape/skinny fat, he's affluent, I was in poverty prior to marrying him, he's attained a high level of education, I don't have a GED...) because apparently people like him don't know/associate with people like me.

    What they don't know is that we were on an equal footing throughout our childhoods, life just threw me more curve balls I wasn't able to dodge, and he knew that and didn't dismiss me because of it. That, and the fact that I never made a big deal out of his better position in life, so he knew I was in this for authentic reasons (love), and not material greed.
  • Miss_Meliss86
    Miss_Meliss86 Posts: 372 Member
    I think it is completely silly...people use it as an excuse to not interact with people because they think "they're out of my league, I'd never stand a chance". How can you know unless you actually get to know the person?

    I've had friends tell me the same thing about my ex. Yet we dated for almost 5 years and they never said anything about it. Part of me thinks they're saying it in an attempt to make me feel better about the breakup, which it didn't. Perhaps your friends are attempting something similar?

    This chick is totally out of my league...

    :grumble:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I once married a woman who was "out of my league". It was not a good thing. She faked it pretty good for our courtship, but post marriage, it became obvious to me there were issues. We couldn't talk about anything. She never got what I was talking about. She was fairly shallow and all about looks and being in charge, and she didn't want to discuss the things in life that were important to me. Her life was all about partying, and getting out from under her mom's thumb. I tried to discuss goals, and she laughed and said, live for today.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    woah, woah... i though "league" was using baseball as a metaphor.

    Like A, AA, AAA and major leagues.

    Was I wrong on that?

    seems like a little better analogy than water measurement....

    oh, and to address the topic - regardless of what league you're in, sometimes when you get called up to the majors and swing for the fences you hit one out. so it's always worth a try.

    SEE? THAT ANALOGY TOTALLY WORKS.

    but, yeah... find who's going to make you happy, and give it a go.

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