advice on my son

peej76

So my 13 year old son has a friend who eats all the time, I'm talking about big bags of chips, containers of icing, kingsize chocolate bars etc..... So I kept finding wrappers in my sons room everytime his friend was over and finally told my son when this friend was over they weren't allowed up in his room unless I was certain that they didn't have any junk to binge on. So I finally thought it was under control. Then I went out to my shed yesterday to get my 5 year olds rollerblades and my garbage can out there is full of candy and chip wrappers and pop bottles. Then this morning I'm doing laundry and in three pairs of his pants pockets is king size chocolate bar wrappers and candy wrappers.

Also when he goes to his dad's every other weekend they let him eat such huge amounts of candy there, that he has on occasion came home and puked. I worry about him and am hoping to recieve some advice. I want to catch this before it turns into an eating disorder, but how can I control the types of food he eats when I'm not around. And is he eating like this because I don't freely allow daily treats like this?

He doesn't have any money, so obviously his friend is buying these treats. They walk to school every morning and have been stopping at the store on the way to school to buy this junk. So not only is my son eating badly, but he's also eating like this in the mornings after he has already had breakfast. I just don't know what to do short of keeping my son away from this kid. I will appreciate all advice. I know what it's like to be addicted to food, and to eat for all the wrong reasons. It sounds like he is turning eating into a social thing which is what I did with food and cigarettes. I'm just scared he will end up with an addictive personality and I really need to know how to handle this!

peej76

So my 13 year old son has a friend who eats all the time, I'm talking about big bags of chips, containers of icing, kingsize chocolate bars etc..... So I kept finding wrappers in my sons room everytime his friend was over and finally told my son when this friend was over they weren't allowed up in his room unless I was certain that they didn't have any junk to binge on. So I finally thought it was under control. Then I went out to my shed yesterday to get my 5 year olds rollerblades and my garbage can out there is full of candy and chip wrappers and pop bottles. Then this morning I'm doing laundry and in three pairs of his pants pockets is king size chocolate bar wrappers and candy wrappers.

Also when he goes to his dad's every other weekend they let him eat such huge amounts of candy there, that he has on occasion came home and puked. I worry about him and am hoping to recieve some advice. I want to catch this before it turns into an eating disorder, but how can I control the types of food he eats when I'm not around. And is he eating like this because I don't freely allow daily treats like this?

He doesn't have any money, so obviously his friend is buying these treats. They walk to school every morning and have been stopping at the store on the way to school to buy this junk. So not only is my son eating badly, but he's also eating like this in the mornings after he has already had breakfast. I just don't know what to do short of keeping my son away from this kid. I will appreciate all advice. I know what it's like to be addicted to food, and to eat for all the wrong reasons. It sounds like he is turning eating into a social thing which is what I did with food and cigarettes. I'm just scared he will end up with an addictive personality and I really need to know how to handle this!

Healthier_Me

You have to talk to the mom of your sons friend and also your sons dad.
You have to break the bad food habit as soon as you can.
If the friend doesn't obey your rule of no junk food (which should be in the house/property at all), then he is not allowed in your house anymore. But you have to make sure the friends parents are on the same page as you... your efforts at home will go to complete waste if he can just go to the friends house and they let him eat all he wants.

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

jesusgrl14

You have to talk to the mom of your sons friend and also your sons dad.
You have to break the bad food habit as soon as you can.
If the friend doesn't obey your rule of no junk food (which should be in the house/property at all), then he is not allowed in your house anymore. But you have to make sure the friends parents are on the same page as you... your efforts at home will go to complete waste if he can just go to the friends house and they let him eat all he wants.

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

I fully agree!

lina1131

To me talking to the parents of this friend is not going to solve any problems. What you need to try to do is teach your son WHY eating this foods is not good for him. Yes, I know, this is a 13 year old we are talking about. I think it is possible though.

I would get a video tape of child obesity and have him watch it with you together. You have to be very gentle with this because you also don't want him to freak out and become aneroxic from being so freaked out about getting fat. If you lovingly explain to him why you are watching the video, not because you don't love him the way he is, but because you are concerned about his health, I think this will help h is understand why junky food isn't good.

Also, I think that not allowing these foods at all might later have him binge on them because he was never allowed to have them. I think you and your son should come up with a weekly treat. Maybe on Sunday or something that you can make a tradition where you take him to pick out his favorite candy and he can have it once a week!

Forbidding him and making sure that everyone around him deprives him of this candy is going to call for him sneaking it. He will find away no matter who you talk to. You need to get to the heart of this and explain to him WHY mom doesn't want him to eat these foods all the time. And that in moderation they are okay.

icupfunny2000

Thats so hard because at that age they very much want to do what their friends do. And i think when you tell them they cant do it they sneak, especially when in their heads they are thinking "its not fair my friends can do it". And i agree its not fair! You need to keep the lines of comunication open because if you dont this is where they become the "in the closet eater" who thinks they have to hide everything they eat.... you need to applaud and reward the positive behavior instead of pointing out the bad.... Maybe if you talk to him and let him know that if he is still hungry you can pack him a snack to eat on the way to school, and maybe at the end of the week make him a deal for good behavior (no sneaking candy) he gets 2 bucks or something to go to the store with his friends. Better one treat a week than 50 :sick: I would also talk to the other kids parents..... but in the past i have learned that other peoples parenting is nowhere near my parenting.... which makes it really difficult because some people dont see a problem in their kids behavior... anyways thats my opinion on the subject ...
j~

icandoit

You have to talk to the mom of your sons friend and also your sons dad.
You have to break the bad food habit as soon as you can.
If the friend doesn't obey your rule of no junk food (which should be in the house/property at all), then he is not allowed in your house anymore. But you have to make sure the friends parents are on the same page as you... your efforts at home will go to complete waste if he can just go to the friends house and they let him eat all he wants.

~Joanna:flowerforyou:

I agree with Joanna.
Maybe show him some of the videos of you tube. My son was a sneaker, but it was stopped. We told him that if you have to sneak it, then it is like stealing it, and that is not right. It is hard. Sit down and have a heart to heart. Try giving him some protein bars. Balance taste just like candy bars. My son loves them. I wish you all the luck. Teenage boys are not easy.

sindyb9

To me talking to the parents of this friend is not going to solve any problems. What you need to try to do is teach your son WHY eating this foods is not good for him. Yes, I know, this is a 13 year old we are talking about. I think it is possible though.

I would get a video tape of child obesity and have him watch it with you together. You have to be very gentle with this because you also don't want him to freak out and become aneroxic from being so freaked out about getting fat. If you lovingly explain to him why you are watching the video, not because you don't love him the way he is, but because you are concerned about his health, I think this will help h is understand why junky food isn't good.

Also, I think that not allowing these foods at all might later have him binge on them because he was never allowed to have them. I think you and your son should come up with a weekly treat. Maybe on Sunday or something that you can make a tradition where you take him to pick out his favorite candy and he can have it once a week!

Forbidding him and making sure that everyone around him deprives him of this candy is going to call for him sneaking it. He will find away no matter who you talk to. You need to get to the heart of this and explain to him WHY mom doesn't want him to eat these foods all the time. And that in moderation they are okay.

I agree that is a tough age and you cant watch them 24/7. But talking to the other parents might also get him picked on.