Lost weight as well as my muscle definition

TheNavet

Repost of a past topic which got deleted after slight modification.

Has anybody experienced something similar? What did you do to reverse the situation?

As a first info: I have no access to weight-lifting facilities.

Now to the actual issue:

I started my journey in November from last year at 56kg for 165cm. I did not count calories until beginning of February - my initial goal was 1700cals but I changed it to about 1800cals. My weight did not budge until the end of the same month, after a skiing trip, where I did not count either. I came back, hovering around 54kg and briskly lost weight for no reason - leading me to weight 50kg at the end of april.

Despite slowly upping my intake up to 2050cals I kept losing weight, beginning July at just under 49kg for 166cm. I became sick and lost another kilo. At that time, my muscle definition already wasn't as clear as what it used to be in April (I had an absolutely wonderful six pack back then).

At the beginning of August, beginning a 360km cycling trip, I ate 2500cals a day. Afterwards and until the end of september, I kept my intake at around 2300cals, trying to restore my weight of 49kg.
Ever since reaching it, I have again reduced my intake to 2050cals - nonetheless, my weight kept increasing (my activity level remained the same as before summer but I guess that I over ate lightly). I then dropped to 1900 around mid october in an attempt to cut lightly - seeing no results, I now am eating around 1750cals a day, plus half of my exercice calories. To this date, my weight is around 50.5kg /51kg.
I have not had the opportunity to weight myself for the past week, but I highly doubt that I have lost any weight.

I will not post any pictures, nonetheless, if I compare some of last april to some of the last month, my muscle definition has significantly decreased (despite weighing in at the same weight), peculiarly in my stomach area despite having increased my strength in the past months and using heavier weights. I cannot access my body fat, nonetheless, I do believe that it was actually higher last april.

Please understand that I am prone to having a bad body image - my muscle definition was a veritable pride for me and I now feel ashamed in front of class comrades who, despite asking nothing, must have noticed that I do not 'have as much' muscle as I used too.

Could anybody explain to me what has happened? How can 'gain' my visible abs back?

I eat relatively clean - the past few weeks have seen a bit more m&m's than usual - nonetheless I do not really believe in exclusive clean eating - I have seen the most stupendous results in people who do not 'properly' eat clean. Despite it all, could this be why?

Also, I have not had my period since last february, despite being relatively regular in the past. My hormone levels have been vaguely fluctuating in the past months.

Thank you for any responses!
(I have to leave for instance but will come back as soon as I can!)