Having a really bad day..

ploppersdf1

I am having a really bad day. I feel so horrible about myself. I don't even know why. I'm just really low. And right now I have a vending machine full of chocolate and potato chips staring me down. I have money to buy them and I'm about 50 steps away from a large Carmel iced latte with whipped cream. I feel like I'm walking on the edge of a binge. I don't wanna go down that road today.. I just feel like right now, what's the point. I've lost 40 pounds and I still feel gross. Why am I doing this? Why am I loosing weight if I still feel hideous. If I feel gross now whose to say I won't when I loose 40 more? Or 80? Why do I even bother fighting if I feel like I'll never win? I just new someone to talk me down out of this.

j0705

keep at it.. your doing great. its just one day your feeling crappy. take a bite of your fave chocolate bar or the whole thing if it makes you feel better today. A one off isnt going to kill you...but not losing weight and eating healthy might.

tomorrows a new day.. you can do this. i have bad days too xxx

leannerae40

If a complete stranger was on a diet, and had told you all their hopes and fears about it - would you offer them a chocolate bar or a Caramel Iced Latte with whipped cream? Of course not! Why do it to yourself then? You're the best person you know. You're already winning when you come on here instead of just going for it at that stupid vending machine. When I'm down, I always feel like eating too...and I can understand your frustration. When there's a lot of weight to lose, you get feeling like nothing that you're doing is working. It is WORKING. I can see it in your photo.

I can tell you this. Do NOT ruin your AMAZING weight loss of 40 lbs with a binge. It'll feel great for 5 minutes - how long to burn off the calories tomorrow? Do something wonderful for yourself. Have a hot soapy bubble bath and think about all the wonderful things in your life.

You're an awesome amazing person who has made great strides. You may think you want those things now, but you won't when it comes time to burn them off. What a vicious cycle we're on. Food will not make you happy, I promise. Only you can do that.

You're doing this - and you can talk yourself out of this mood - I promise. You're gorgeous, and your before and after photos are amazing! That's the point. Don't feel gross - you've GOT THIS! You're not going to win - you ALREADY HAVE!

Good luck my friend...there are going to be hard times, and don't think that you can never have those things you love, just have them for the right reasons, and at the right time.

XO :flowerforyou:

GingerLolita

Binging will only make you feel worse - physically and emotionally! If I'm struggling with cravings, I'll treat myself to something small and delicious (like a single homemade peanut butter cookie) or a big portion of healthy, low calorie food (like a fresh fruit salad). As I move closer to maintenance, I worry if I'll ever really accept my body... But you know that the body you have now is better than before and it will only get better!

catholiclorimom

hi there, spend a few minutes writing down what you like about yourself. Realize that being down is often physical. I agree with the other person, having a snack is probably what you do need right now. Is there any protien/fruit around? For tomorrow plan on this low time and be armed with something you like. I just love diet hot chocolate frothed up, even with a little Cool Whip on top. Drink it slowly and savor, relax and breathe deep. You can stop a cycle of negative thinking. You (and every human) are worth much more than verbal abuse. Be as kind to yourself as you are to your best friend. You can do this, just think about the 40 lbs gone! whooo hooo you go girl!!! and are a strong hero in my book. take care of yourself. with love, your friend who has only lost 4 lbs.

RoyBeck

Don't quit. Your doing great and you WILL feel better in time. Keep going!!

j0705

sorry did it sound like i was suggesting binging? i apologise if it sounded that way. I wouldnt have thought a bite of your fave choc bar would be classed as binging... oops!

HollisGrant

When I feel down, I watch this wonderful, short video. The clips in it are all real. It's a true story. The video always lifts my spirits and inspires me. This is a man with severe problems, way bigger than mine, who got his weight and life under control.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

You can do this. You are not your emotions. You can stand aside from your feelings, give yourself a mental pat on the back, say "I know you're feeling sad, but today we're not going to take that road." Then physically walk away. Make yourself a nice cup of peppermint tea or whatever you like, go for a walk, take a deep breath, and get involved in something else.

Editing this to add be proud that you've lost 40 pounds. You're a winner.

leannerae40

sorry did it sound like i was suggesting binging? i apologise if it sounded that way. I wouldnt have thought a bite of your fave choc bar would be classed as binging... oops!

No I believe the OP mentions it...not you. Your suggestion was lovely. No worries. :happy:

j0705

sorry did it sound like i was suggesting binging? i apologise if it sounded that way. I wouldnt have thought a bite of your fave choc bar would be classed as binging... oops!

No I believe the OP mentions it...not you. Your suggestion was lovely. No worries. :happy:

ploppersdf1

Thank you all for the lovely support everyone. I'm just so scared because I feel myself slipping back into the mindset that got me here to begin with.. I'm tired of hating myself no matter what I do. I have been doing this for months and it's still so hard. When does the difficulty end. When can I look in the mirror and not hate who I see? When does that chocolate bar stop being so damn tempting every time I sink? I am not near the vending machine anymore so I got that under control but when does this stop?

blurppp

Yes, we need to be taking care of our body and be healthy but girl, it's just a shell.. Don't base your self worth on it. You got to base that on your mind heart a spirit.

Don't deprive yourself either! If you do love chocolate, I'd buy either Oats and Chocolate Fiber One bars or Chocolate Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. 1 pack, no more than once a week. You'd be able to have one a day and they're only around 150 calories, so you should be able to work them into your calorie range.. Much better than a 250+ calorie regular chocolate bar.

Good luck!

leannerae40

Thank you all for the lovely support everyone. I'm just so scared because I feel myself slipping back into the mindset that got me here to begin with.. I'm tired of hating myself no matter what I do. I have been doing this for months and it's still so hard. When does the difficulty end. When can I look in the mirror and not hate who I see? When does that chocolate bar stop being so damn tempting every time I sink? I am not near the vending machine anymore so I got that under control but when does this stop?

I stopped being so tempted by the things I love (like chocolate) by telling myself that it's okay to have one every now and then. I'm not "giving up" on anything. We need food. What I needed to rethink was my relationship with food. That is - it's a fuel for my body, not my feelings. More often than not, I don't feel the need for one. But if I do, I have some.

As far as when you'll look in the mirror and love what you see...fake it till you make it! Think of what you'd tell someone who has done what you have. If I told you that I'd just lost 40 pounds, you'd be all, congratulations and WOW! Give yourself permission to compliment yourself the same way. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and tell yourself something that may feel untrue to you at first (you'll come to believe it's true if you work at it) Even smile at yourself in the mirror. I so get where you're at with this, I was there too and I still have days where I feel overwhelmed, I just don't see the changes, I'm working so hard and to not see it sometimes can be really frustrating. EVERYONE has those days...fit or not.

This is a new lifestyle, and it's hard work. And oobmonster is right, this is just a shell...who you are is not your body, but can you love it anyway? You're you, all the perfection of you.

And bud, if you want a treat, have it, don't punish yourself for it. You're awesome!

Kookyk9s

Thank you all for the lovely support everyone. I'm just so scared because I feel myself slipping back into the mindset that got me here to begin with.. I'm tired of hating myself no matter what I do. I have been doing this for months and it's still so hard. When does the difficulty end. When can I look in the mirror and not hate who I see? When does that chocolate bar stop being so damn tempting every time I sink? I am not near the vending machine anymore so I got that under control but when does this stop?

When I have these feelings I remind myself that the solution to this problem is not found in the refrigerator or the vending machine or the chocolate bar. If it was, I have done that many many times and the problem should be solved. So it is just the old me looking for the familiar instead of for the solution. Usually a walk around the block - quickly or slowly depending on how I am feeling is enough to get me over it. Got to get those good hormones going, Up and down the stairs at work several times also works as does a walk around the offices at a fast pace. Outside works better for me even though I am a weather weenie and hate anything falling from the sky or windy. Do it anyways. I am not water soluble - will not dissolve into a puddle.

How long does it take? do not know as I am not there yet. Do not care if I get there. Will never be perfect - could not stand the stress - would rather be human, But I do know that every day is a little bit better - the funks when they come are not as long or as deep. Usually it is over something fairly trivial and if I can just get my mind off it for a bit I realize that I was just sweating the small stuff and I am now able to laugh at myself and say that I now know better and off I go onto something else.

Stop beating yourself up - it is ok to have these feelings but as someone else also said they do not have to rule you . Acknowledge the feeling - get some exercise or laugh at some remembered joke. You are so much better that a chocolate bar calling your name,

cseaglass19

40 pounds is AMAZING! You're doing so great! We all have bad days, just make sure you don't give in and make it into a failure for yourself. I don't tell myself something is totally off limits--that just makes me obsess about it. If you need a piece of chocolate to boost your feelings, do it. But don't allow it to turn into a binge. Allow one. Make sure you savor it--make it last. Don't feel guilty. Feel good about staying away from an excessive amount. And while you're feeling so good, go for a walk. Get outside in the sun. Then congratulate yourself that you didn't fail. Start fresh tomorrow.

jhloves2knit

Congratulations on getting away from the vending machine - that is a huge victory! You sound so depressed. If this happens a lot, you might need some help from a professional. There are good medicines for depression.