Should I stop eating fruit?

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neandermagnon
neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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Hi, I'm a chimpanzee, and I keep on hearing humans say how fruit is really bad for them, because of all the nasty evil fructose. I'm concerned because I eat loads of fruit, and humans are our closest living evolutionary cousins, so if the fructose fruit is bad for humans, then surely it's bad or us too??

Should I ask the zookeeper not to give me any more fruit? What should I eat instead? What about banana flavoured protein shakes?

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  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Perhaps you should consider a Paleo diet?
  • BikerGirlElaine
    BikerGirlElaine Posts: 1,631 Member
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    The zookeeper is just intentionally sabotaging you!!! You need to get a new zoo.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Perhaps you should consider a Paleo diet?

    Maybe the Miocene diet would be better.... maybe I could write an ebook on it and make a ton of money.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    The zookeeper is just intentionally sabotaging you!!! You need to get a new zoo.

    :sad: what should I do, what should I doooooooo?


    also should I lift weights? Some of the other chimps are saying they lift weights, but I'm afraid I'll bulk up and look like those gorillas in that cage over there

    the zookeeper just dumped a load of bananas in our cage again.
  • RBurnham90
    RBurnham90 Posts: 202 Member
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    lan2zJS.jpg

    I can confirm.. I was gorilla.

    Just limit your banana intake and you'll be fine. The zookeepers don't give a chit about you chimps anyways.
  • illuvatree
    illuvatree Posts: 185 Member
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    Fruit is too delicious to give up.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    what's a safe banana intake for chimps though? I mean how many bananas a day? And what about mangoes and papayas? I'm scared all the nasty evil fructose is going to be wreaking havoc with my insides....

    hey gorilla... nice traps. what lifting programme did you do? What protein did you eat? One of the other chimps in the cage, before he was rescued from the circus and taken to the zoo, he used to live in the wild. He said they used to hunt small monkeys. Apparently they're an excellent source of protein. Trouble is the small monkeys are in a totally different cage to us, and the zookeeper would never let us anywhere near them. So much sabotage!!! :sad:
  • illuvatree
    illuvatree Posts: 185 Member
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    what's a safe banana intake for chimps though? I mean how many bananas a day? And what about mangoes and papayas? I'm scared all the nasty evil fructose is going to be wreaking havoc with my insides....

    Do not worry, chimp friend, fructose is fine. It's very different than the bad sugars, like high fructose corn syrup. Enjoy your bananas :)
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    Now I'm confused. I just overheard some zoo visitors talking about doing a "fruit cleanse" where they drink nothing but fruit juice for several days to cleanse all the toxins out of their system.

    So what is it humans? Is fruit good or bad? Or is it that fruit is bad, until you juice it then it magically becomes able to flush toxins out of your system?

    I tried to ask the zookeeper to juice my fruit for me, but all he did was hand me a carton of a fruit drink where the main ingredient was high fructose corn syrup. I feel betrayed!!! How can I stay healthy with all this sabotage? I felt so sad I just ate all the bananas, without even juicing them first.

    Please advise a poor, confused chimp... you have 3x our cranial capacity as evolution has really favoured you when it comes to brains, this can't be difficult for you...
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Now I'm confused. I just overheard some zoo visitors talking about doing a "fruit cleanse" where they drink nothing but fruit juice for several days to cleanse all the toxins out of their system.

    So what is it humans? Is fruit good or bad? Or is it that fruit is bad, until you juice it then it magically becomes able to flush toxins out of your system?

    I tried to ask the zookeeper to juice my fruit for me, but all he did was hand me a carton of a fruit drink where the main ingredient was high fructose corn syrup. I feel betrayed!!! How can I stay healthy with all this sabotage? I felt so sad I just ate all the bananas, without even juicing them first.

    Please advise a poor, confused chimp... you have 3x our cranial capacity as evolution has really favoured you when it comes to brains, this can't be difficult for you...

    Oh no. Now you have Binge Eating Disorder. Please get actual help for this and don't simply try to eliminate needed foods from your diet.
  • Bucky83
    Bucky83 Posts: 1,194 Member
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    Oh chimpanzee.

    In truth, just make sure your calories in are less than your calories out. So, swing more on those trees and just reduce your intake, and you can still eat those delicious bananas!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Yes you should the obesity epidemic in Chimpanzees is out of control especially when you live in a lab.
  • LishLash79
    LishLash79 Posts: 562 Member
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    Oh chimpanzee.

    In truth, just make sure your calories in are less than your calories out. So, swing more on those trees and just reduce your intake, and you can still eat those delicious bananas!

    ^^^ i just totally read this with a kermit voice in my head.. hence the profile pic.. lol^^^^

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