Maybe I dont want this.....
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bump for the mayo clinic article0
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Alright... well first off, let me begin by saying that therapy is good for the soul, and would not be a bad place to start.
Perhaps, you should start off in small steps. Maybe set your calorie goal to just maintenance, and practice logging every day, and keeping yourself within your maintenance. Then, after you've successfully maintained for awhile, cut out 100 calories off your goal. And then once you are confident you can eat at 100 calorie deficit, shave off another 100, and then another 100.
Once you are doing that, then you could set a time out of your day for a walk (add some calories back in, maybe 100 or so). Once you are consistent at that, you could start looking at lifting programs.
Honestly, you don't have to make the changes that you need to make all at once. Make them one at a time, and when you are comfortable with one, add in the next one.0 -
one thing i have learned in 301 days of MFP is that you have to be in the right headspace to lose weight. You sound to me like you're still eating (overeating in some cases) because of another reason. For me, I stopped caring about myself when I was depressed. As I healed mentally, I started to treat myself differently and one day I simply woke up, found MFP and started. Hadn't really even been thinking about dieting, just all clicked together one morning in bed.
Since that day, it's not been that tough. I have my moments but I've never felt deprived or challenged or anything. It was time.
If it's time for you you'll be able to stop but it sounds to me like you perhaps have a couple of other things to look at first to explain why you can eat so much, and why you have put on weight. It's not that you're 'broken' just that something isn't aligned for you right now.0 -
I used to be this same person. But one day my son poked me in the stomach and said getting soft and fluffy there. That was my moment and I jumped in with every bit I had and never looked back. Once you have your moment you will jump into healthy eating and exercise, I just hope you have it soon. Also once you start loosing weight regularly you get excited about it and work hard to keep it up.0
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Something will click when you are ready, whether you know what that something is or not. In the mean time..........NEVER.GIVE.UP.
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Keep piling up "tomorrows" and all you'll end up with is a bunch of empty yesterdays.0
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I have been there. You know what you need to do, but putting it into practise is so tough sometimes. Different approaches will work for different people. From what I have read some people on here seem to use the whole "i'm embarrassed in myself" to fuel them, but that never worked for me at all. I had no reason to be embarrassed I just held a bit of extra weight. There are worse things to be in life. Once I worked on my self esteem and mental health the easier it became to eat right and the easier it became to get out the house and exercise. It helped me to appreciate myself at a larger size rather than berate myself, wear nice clothes whatever my size and take pride in my appearance. It might help to speak to someone like a therapist or doctor if you feel you need to.0
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You do want this.
My advice is that you need to make a really serious decision today about your habits. I am very much an all or nothing person (not so good at moderation, but that is just me), so if I were you, I would put myself on a very strict diet until I could control myself. For me, that means protein and veggies for a couple of weeks, period. This does a couple of things - helps control intake/calories, and also helps you to appreciate other foods (ie one bite of a doughnut tastes amazing if you haven't had anything sweet in a few weeks).
I've been there and am here to support you! YOU CAN DO IT.0 -
This book may or may not be helpful:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/book-review-brain-over-binge/0005848
Review of Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge. Here's an excerpt from the review:
Jack Trimpey’s book Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction gave Hansen the tools she needed for her recovery. She learned that her urges to binge came from her subcortex or “lower brain,” the seat of her survival instinct. Kicked into high gear by her anorexia and by excessive exercise, her lower brain reacted to the threat of starvation by signaling her to eat even when food was plentiful. The more Hansen gratified that urge, the more it became a habit, literally changing the neural pathways in her brain and giving rise to her “binge-created brain-wiring problem.”
She compares her lower brain’s signals to a child throwing a tantrum to get a toy. Giving in to the child’s demands reinforces the tantrum. The tantrum can then be practiced in additional situations; once rewarded, it becomes linked with those situations. In this way, the “triggers” for Hansen’s binges kept multiplying; but they were only associations. The true cause of Hansen’s binges had always been the urge to binge itself.
Trying to substitute her binges with other activities had failed, in the same way that responding to a tantrum with a hug fails if the child really wants a toy. Hansen’s tantrums — her lower brain’s signals to binge — succeeded only because she paid attention to them. Her attention led to increased neural firing, which in turn strengthened that pathway in her brain and literally fed her habit.
Her lower brain could not control her actions, but her prefrontal cortex (her “highest human brain” and the seat of her free will) could. Hansen recognized her irrational urges as “neurological junk” unrelated to actual need. Rather than try to fight, reason with, or “surf” those urges, she acknowledged their presence and otherwise ignored them. Her detachment stripped them of their emotional significance, making them less of a threat. Their neural connections weakened until the urge to binge simply faded away. Hansen’s need to purge as compensation for her bingeing vanished in turn.
She likens her “brain over binge” technique to the practice of “mindfulness” taught by neuropsychiatrist Jeffrey Schwartz to people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Mindfulness involves observing spontaneous thoughts and feelings in a way that is nonjudgmental, as though they belong to someone else. Doing so helps patients resist the urges associated with OCD.
Central to Hansen’s recovery was the knowledge that she could take matters into her own hands rather than make excuses for her behavior.0 -
There's a lot of good advice in this thread (and at least one negative post - get use to it - people love to be mean on the internet) but I want to re-iterate some of the points already made in my own words because, heck, that's what forums are for!
It's true that you might not be ready. I wasn't always ready to give it a shot full time (you know, the lifestyle change vs. one or two days of being good). But what I will say, is that even making some minor changes now, whether or not you are ready, will help when you are ready to commit to it for the long haul.
The great news is that committing it to the long haul doesn't necessarily mean you have to swear off any certain foods or not enjoy yourself. You just have to learn how to do it in a way that's better for you overall. And you will learn - it just takes some time.
Just know that you're going to over-eat from time to time still. It's just bound to happen (no one is perfect), but the big thing to remember is that no one got fat from over-eating at one meal. It's over-eating all the time that does that. So if you mess up at one meal, move on and go right back to it at the next meal. Don't blow off the whole day because you slipped up once (a friend of mine put it this way: if you get a paper cut on your finger, are you going to chop your whole arm off? If not, then don't screw up your whole day cause you ate a donut after your healthy breakfast).
The other thing I will say is that it's been much, much easier to stay motivated to lose weight by trying to love myself now. It's sort of this odd moment. People are negative about "fat acceptance" because they think it's people accepting themselves in an unhealthy way, but honestly, I never viewed it as that. I viewed it as loving myself now, knowing that I am worth it, yeah, even while I'm fat, which keeps me motivated to get some weight off and be healthier. When I kept seeing myself as fat and ugly, I never tried to do anything better for myself and would wallow in pizza and doritos. But by taking care of myself and being fat and beautiful, dammit, I want to do better for me!
You will get there. Just small steps to an overall more awesome you!0 -
I believe that till you like yourself unconditionally or a life changing health event happens (diabetes, heart attack, etc) happens, a person will continue with habits they've become accustomed to. People desire to be lean and healthy, but let's face it, it's hard work to do when one is overweight/obese.
So really until you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, and get a back bone instead of a wishbone, you'll continue with the same behavior. Change takes sacrifice and determination. Those traits can be learned, but do take time.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
SO THIS!0 -
Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....
You may need to do both at the same time. And exercise. Even when you eat horribly or overeat. Exercise. It can help with the psychology of weight control, and it provides health benefits even if you don't lose any weight.
But, yes, sort out the other stuff too. Seek help if you need to.0 -
If you need some help in terms of binge eating , you may find an online intervention. for example, on here you can work your way through some modules to understand your eating behaviour and the psychology behind it.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=48
Chin up, you can do it and we are there for you!0 -
Exactly!!! This!I'm really sorry to hear that. I think we've all been there to some degree: you swear you're ready to make a change, but when it comes time, you just don't have the motivation. For myself, I have to reach the point that I can't take it anymore. That step has come from looking in the mirror, going to the beach, feeling sick after engorging myself on fries and pizza, from seeing someone I could look like if I tried, from actually researching what I'm eating, etc etc. but it's different for everyone. It does help to have a workout buddy, or someone to remind you about your goals. But if you're not ready, then you don't care. Saying "ah ah, eating that donut will make you gain weight" won't motivate you if the desire to eat the donut overpowers the desire to be healthy.
Maybe if you try doing something very small and manageable each day? Just something that can help you prove to yourself that you CAN make the change, even though it is small. Then you can step up from there. Being healthy is worthwhile enough that even if it takes you 3 years of slowly implementing small changes, it's better than continuing along the unhealthy path. If you drink 3 cups of coffee a day, try replacing one with tea. If you're used to eating 4 donuts for breakfast, try 2 and an apple. If usually you drink orange juice from a bottle, try getting a handful of oranges and juicing fresh. You can set a goal to make one tiny change per week, or every other week, and eventually you may feel motivated to make bigger steps.
Don't be so down on yourself...getting disheartened is really easy. But ultimately, just try to keep in mind that everything you consume that is not healthy is digging yourself into a deeper and deeper hole. I really wish you the best of luck with all this! Keep your chin up
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I like these thoughts and ideas. I also think since you are here and took the time to write this out that it is the first step, after all, people tend to deny things and you're not, you're facing it head on, so good for you on that!
After 7 months of making health and fitness my obsession basically in a good way, I still have moments when I don't want to continue, after all, the road is so long and so far away and I grew up overweight, lost weight off and on, but always at least 50+ pounds too heavy which has really affected who I am in good and bad ways.
I think small changes are great and I like what everyone has said here. You're here, no one forced you to be here, you've got support, so take small changes, they add up over time. When you're ready to order that pizza, add some veggies and make it a small, invite a friend to bring a salad or something. Walk for 5 minutes a day, next week add a few more minutes, make habits that stick and keep adding new ones. Come on! You want to live and be happy and feel great! Sort things out with your life, yes, but start something in the right direction, don't hold off or it'll get worse and worse and harder and harder. You can do it, I know you can.
Alright... well first off, let me begin by saying that therapy is good for the soul, and would not be a bad place to start.
Perhaps, you should start off in small steps. Maybe set your calorie goal to just maintenance, and practice logging every day, and keeping yourself within your maintenance. Then, after you've successfully maintained for awhile, cut out 100 calories off your goal. And then once you are confident you can eat at 100 calorie deficit, shave off another 100, and then another 100.
Once you are doing that, then you could set a time out of your day for a walk (add some calories back in, maybe 100 or so). Once you are consistent at that, you could start looking at lifting programs.
Honestly, you don't have to make the changes that you need to make all at once. Make them one at a time, and when you are comfortable with one, add in the next one.0 -
BIGGEST issue i see every day here... is people making a bad decision... then throwing the rest of the day on the garbage heap because they feel bad... thinking "oh well, i already messed up THIS day... may as well..." is the worst kind of mind set.
So you splurged on lunch and ate WAY too much... ok... dont go crazy with the rest of the afternoon and evening because you messed up at lunch. make a smart decision for dinner, and dont snack all afternoon.
someone above me posted... dont start a new day tomorrow... start RIGHT NOW.
Youre a human, we mess up, we have weak moments... dont let it defeat you. you CAN stop yourself.. you just have to make the decision to WANT to.
this is me right now after having work treats- I was thinking about going home and being lazy, maybe eat more snacks, but NO! I'm sticking to my lifting and aerobic planned workout. I've gone through so much of my life just throwing the day away after eating what I feel I shouldn't.
Don't give up! we live and learn, and improve ourselves, right?!0 -
You are definately in the wrong job, if you love food with such passion.0
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Good luck to you. I think you know what to do so I won't dump more on this except for this one point.
At some point your life changed, and you started using food as comfort. Think about that point in your life, what happened, why it effected you, etc? Keep thinking about it, don't eat while you think about it but try to understand it. Get help if you need to. Support groups are out there so you can get contact with real people you can talk to and that care.0 -
I used to feel this way just a month ago. It was like a constant struggle with myself. One day be upset that I gained so much weight and the next day I'd be stuffing myself with a fatty burger and fries and feeling even worse. I felt like I wanted to lose weight so bad but I couldn't get myself to do anything about it. I felt helpless...And then that day came when I just got tired of being deppressed and tired of hidding from everyone came and I couldnt be any happier..
I believe that everyone has their reasons and you have to find yours. What is that makes you do this to yourself? Something happened or is happening that is making you do this... Maybe its mental, maybe its physical..Go to the doctor and rule out that there is nothing physically wrong like a thyroid issue or other health problem. Once you rule that out, sit down and think about why this is happening and what YOU can do to change it.
Realize that things are not going to change right away and thats ok..As long as you take a step in the right direction, no matter how small it is.
That day that you wake up and realize that you deserve to be happy and healthy and that you WANT to do what it takes to get there will come... don't worry. BUT it has to come from YOU..0 -
Don't be embarrassed. We've all been here (several times for me personally), but that's why we've come here. We want to change. We want to be healthy. So feel no shame, feel no embarrassment. If anything, feel empowered. Because you CAN change.0
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BIGGEST issue i see every day here... is people making a bad decision... then throwing the rest of the day on the garbage heap because they feel bad... thinking "oh well, i already messed up THIS day... may as well..." is the worst kind of mind set.
So you splurged on lunch and ate WAY too much... ok... dont go crazy with the rest of the afternoon and evening because you messed up at lunch. make a smart decision for dinner, and dont snack all afternoon.
someone above me posted... dont start a new day tomorrow... start RIGHT NOW.
Youre a human, we mess up, we have weak moments... dont let it defeat you. you CAN stop yourself.. you just have to make the decision to WANT to.
this is me right now after having work treats- I was thinking about going home and being lazy, maybe eat more snacks, but NO! I'm sticking to my lifting and aerobic planned workout. I've gone through so much of my life just throwing the day away after eating what I feel I shouldn't.
Don't give up! we live and learn, and improve ourselves, right?!
Exactly! I ate a burger for lunch that was 1030 calories! lol i didnt check to see before hand like a dummy.... im already 200+ calories in the hole for the day....
what am i going to do? Go home and lift some weights, then do 30 minutes of cardio! hopefully ill have enough calories after that to have a meal replacment shake for dinner lmao0 -
SO I've been on MFP for a while,a couple months, having joined after being stunned to discover that I had gained 50 pounds and 12 inches around my waist in one year. Since then, drumroll please, I've gained 12 more pounds and two more inches around my once thin, now fat and soft, waistline. I have lots of supportive friends. I know, intellectually, what I need to do. I know what has made me fat. But each day, I wake up with the best of intentions, and then I eat 4 donuts. Or an entire pizza for myself. Or eat at a "all you can eat" buffet. And then I hate myself for not making progress, and eat some more. It's simple.....over the past 18 months, after being thin (heck skinny) my whole life, I;ve become a binger. I cant, make that wont stop myself. And my body reflects who I am right now. I don't like it, but I just don't seem ready for change. Maybe I need to sort out the rest of my life first, then try again.....
Something is bothering you so you eat it away. You have the mentality that you screwed up, so why bother... right?
What is it going to take to wake you up and reverse that kind of thinking? A heart attack? A stroke? Diabetes? Will it take something THAT huge to wake you up? Or are you going to think about all of that and say ya know... I really need to do this for those reasons alone.
I feel really bad for you actually, because we have all been there, and no matter what we say here, eventually you are going to be the one that makes the change, not us. You have SO much support on this site... utilize it hun! I mean... focus... and search on these forums for the things you struggle with the most. This site is FULL of information and FULL of people that can help you. But ultimately, the decision is yours.
Your HEALTH is worth it. And someone very close to you... is WORTH you staying around longer for. Don't give up on YOU.... you hear me? Give up that mentality... but don't EVER give up on YOU. :flowerforyou:0 -
Perhaps I'm wrong, but I think you have a very *common* problem. You make a bad choice... & decide "well, the day is shot" so I'll just get back on track tomorrow or Monday." Don't give up. I want to encourage you to decide that when you make a bad choice to (1) accept it, (2) move on, & (3) decide with the very next thing you eat that YOU WILL GET BACK ON TRACK.
We all have to have cheat meals, but the idea is to get back on track the SAME day. Don't allow yourself to rob yourself of the victories that YOU DESERVE.
If you remove the high fat & carb contents from your house - then it may help you to stay on track. Out of sight = out of mind.
You can totally do this, but ONLY you can decide to do it.
Good luck 0 -
Something will click when you are ready, whether you know what that something is or not. In the mean time..........NEVER.GIVE.UP.
:flowerforyou:0 -
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anaïs Nin0
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