Insults that failed; ones that sound like insults but aren't

neandermagnon

There are a lot of MFP topics about bad things people called you, ways you were humiliated, and even a lot about veiled insults. These threads can get depressing, firstly because there are some really cruel people out there and it makes me sad that people have to put up with them, and secondly because some people take stuff the wrong way and are offended by things that probably weren't meant as insults.

So this thread is to turn this around. This is about times people tried to insult you but it backfired on them in some way, or you took their insult as a compliment, and also for things you could say to someone that sound insulting but are not.

neandermagnon

hilariously failed insults:

Years ago I got into an argument with someone on a pagan/occult forum. He called me a "trailer park *kitten* Golden Dawner from Alabama". Golden Dawner refers to a religious sect that I'm not, and have never been, a member of, but he decided I must have been one of them because he hated them and I disagreed with him about something. Yay for black n white logic.... though I stared at the screen in bewilderment for a while before I worked out where the heck "trailer park *kitten*" and "from Alabama" came from.... then I realised I had "Birmingham" as my location, because that's the UK city I was living in at the time. I found this utterly hilarious. I've never seen so many incorrect assumptions in one insult before or since. And I also hate stereotypes. He failed to insult me, he just made me ROTFL at him, but he managed to insult an entire religious sect and everyone in an entire state in the USA in the process. So he goes down on my list as "hilariously arrogant and stupid presumptious git I once argued with on the forum"

compliments that sound like insults:

in neurobiology, plasticity refers to the ability of the brain/nervous system to change its neural networks in response to new information and experiences, i.e. the ability to learn. So a high level of plasticity = fast learner = intelligent. So if someone says your brain is very plastic, it's a compliment. But it sounds like an insult, because you'd think "plastic brain" is saying "your brain is made out of plastic" (in fact the material plastic was so named because it is plastic, as in you can change its shape easily). Also, contrary to popular belief, neanderthals had larger brains (on average) than modern humans (and they weren't stupid either). So if someone says you have a "plastic neanderthal brain" that should most definitely be taken as a compliment.

Sparkle_Princess

Just had a run in with an idiot at the gym. :explode: Told me to go use the lady machines!! These machines were for the big boys blah blah blah not little girls I'm 5'2. Put him in his place after he laughed at me and told me there is no way I could leg press 200lbs (just over 90kg) . I did it 3 x 15 reps!! Screw you buddy oh and close your mouth you might catch flies!! hahahahaha


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

neandermagnon

Just had a run in with an idiot at the gym. :explode: Told me to go use the lady machines!! These machines were for the big boys blah blah blah not little girls I'm 5'2. Put him in his place after he laughed at me and told me there is no way I could leg press 200lbs (just over 90kg) . I did it 3 x 15 reps!! Screw you buddy oh and close your mouth you might catch flies!! hahahahaha


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

:drinker: haha you put him in his place :bigsmile:

lwoodroff

Just had a run in with an idiot at the gym. :explode: Told me to go use the lady machines!! These machines were for the big boys blah blah blah not little girls I'm 5'2. Put him in his place after he laughed at me and told me there is no way I could leg press 200lbs (just over 90kg) . I did it 3 x 15 reps!! Screw you buddy oh and close your mouth you might catch flies!! hahahahaha


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Definitely a case of actions speaking louder than words!

likitisplit

Just had a run in with an idiot at the gym. :explode: Told me to go use the lady machines!! These machines were for the big boys blah blah blah not little girls I'm 5'2. Put him in his place after he laughed at me and told me there is no way I could leg press 200lbs (just over 90kg) . I did it 3 x 15 reps!! Screw you buddy oh and close your mouth you might catch flies!! hahahahaha


:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Thank you!

roxylola

Would have lost the plot if someone said about "lady machines" to me!

Sparkle_Princess

he was a royal jerk. Came back later to apologise, I just said whatever buddy Im not here for your approval and I'll use whatever machine I like. The other guy in the gym just about peed himself laughing!!

Wish my arms were as strong as my legs I could have punched him :laugh: :laugh:

notworthstalking

A parenting one. At my eldest 7th birthday her friends mum commented that ' she is so aware of her body'. Sounded weird, but meant she was co-ordinated and managing not to hit anyone while dancing. I found it strange, but another mum basically said 'we rarely notice negatives in other peoples kids, more what we wish our kid was doing better' . That makes sense. Most of the parents in our year level are really nice about each others kids and comment on positives. Another mum commented about the same daughter 'never make her change, she will settle down (behaviour , a bit irresponsible , sensitive ) maybe as she gets older, but she is wonderful' . Her substitute teacher after having to get her to talk to the principle said 'she is just like my daughter' lol. I think her teachers adore her despite how frustrating she is lol.

This one I am not sure how to take. We have a couple of bigger kiwi girls ( Maori, Samoan , islander ) at work. One girl in particular who is trying to get back into serious rugby training and is a very strong young girl, is always lately commenting on my strength. ' oh that's right , Lynda's got muscles now ' ' ooh you warrior' ' I've got muscles too, but their natural'. Wtf on the last one. I guess it's good people notice my efforts at clean up time. We work in a factory, so the end of the night stuff is heavy, but seriously, what is she going on about? I tend to go skinny rather than have visible muscles, that's my body shape. I am also not that strong, and due to exhaustion caused my low iron and vitamin b (under doctors care) I am doing bugger all about from work and housework . I am not good at reading people and what their words mean.

wild_wild_life

he was a royal jerk. Came back later to apologise, I just said whatever buddy Im not here for your approval and I'll use whatever machine I like. The other guy in the gym just about peed himself laughing!!

Wish my arms were as strong as my legs I could have punched him :laugh: :laugh:

Awesome! Way to represent! Hopefully he'll refrain from saying or maybe even thinking those things in the future.

wild_wild_life

This one I am not sure how to take. We have a couple of bigger kiwi girls ( Maori, Samoan , islander ) at work. One girl in particular who is trying to get back into serious rugby training and is a very strong young girl, is always lately commenting on my strength. ' oh that's right , Lynda's got muscles now ' ' ooh you warrior' ' I've got muscles too, but their natural'. Wtf on the last one. I guess it's good people notice my efforts at clean up time. We work in a factory, so the end of the night stuff is heavy, but seriously, what is she going on about? I tend to go skinny rather than have visible muscles, that's my body shape. I am also not that strong, and due to exhaustion caused my low iron and vitamin b (under doctors care) I am doing bugger all about from work and housework . I am not good at reading people and what their words mean.

Who knows. Maybe she meant she had a more muscular physique than you so it was more "natural"? Honestly the things people say are 99% about them and 1% about you so it's not worth worrying about.

Hezzietiger1

so this guy I work with the other day said.. you are so tiny I could 1 arm press you.

I said, SWEET, i used to be your best bench press!

roxylola

Pass on what she meant - I would guess it was a compliment of sorts but it makes me wonder what unnatural muscle you could have...