Have my 7 year old on a "diet"

My son was quite a bit over weight, 102 pounds at 7 years old. He's 52 inches tall and fairly muscular as well (he's very active playing ice hockey and soccer.) He has lost an average of a pound a week by just cutting out snacks and I am now making him breakfast instead of allowing him to eat his old standby of a sugary cereal. Obviously there are times that he still snacks but when he does it's something healthier like a piece of fruit, some veggies with hummus or a greek yogurt. He's still a child and I don't want to make any food seem "bad" and he's allowed to have certain things on occasion like a cupcake at a birthday party, or snack after a soccer game but we discuss making better choices and he's doing a much better job on his own making these choices now. He's now down to 93 pounds in about 8 weeks. He's still progressively losing about a pound a week and I figured the weight loss would slow down by now but hasn't. I know he still has a long way to go. I've set his goal at around 85 pounds, give or take. According to a healthy BMI for his size he would have to be at 65 pounds but I can't imagine him at that size. He's just built bigger if that makes any sense (already wears a size 5.5 in mens shoes!) Has anyone else successfully helped their child get to a healthy weight? Any suggestions?
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Replies

  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
    Maybe screaming the obvious and maybe you've done it, however your post doesn't make it sound like you have, but have you discussed this with a doctor?
  • SmileCozYouCan
    SmileCozYouCan Posts: 315 Member
    What your doing seems pretty okay to me, just make sure he's eating enough and drinking enough water during the day because you don't want his body so stop growing at such a young age. Also, like Hestion said, have you discussed this with a doctor? They will give you much better information than us, hopefully.
  • Susanm1943
    Susanm1943 Posts: 11 Member
    My feelings, exactly (re: doctor). You get support from us, but info on your 7 year old child should come from a professional.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    I wouldn't even consider those things a "diet", as you said. We don't allow sugary cereals in our house, and sweet treats are limited to special occasions like someone's birthday or something.
  • tzig00
    tzig00 Posts: 875 Member
    I'm with Hestion. Have you talked to his doctor about all this? My son is 3 and almost in a 5T. He's at the 95% of height and weight and he's bigger but he's solid. I would never put him on a diet without talking to them. My friend was very heavy until puberty and he lost all the weight without being on a diet but because his body chemistry changed...
  • Four_Leaf_Clover
    Four_Leaf_Clover Posts: 332 Member
    I admire you for teaching your child about making better choices and helping to get him healthy, but at only 7 this is something I would DEFINITELY discuss with your pediatrician. Our office has a dietician available to assist with these kinds of issues. They can tell you what the ideal weight is for him given his age/height, build, etc. My understanding is that BMI charts are not that acurate for kids - so I would leave this to the Ped.
  • Maybe screaming the obvious and maybe you've done it, however your post doesn't make it sound like you have, but have you discussed this with a doctor?

    ^^^^^ This. Healthy snacks aren't bad for kids. Fruits, veggies, nuts etc. Also you want to be positive that he's losing at a healthy rate.
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
    I think it sounds like you are doing just fine...it isnt even so much of a diet as it is just helping him learn to make better food choices. There is nothing wrong with him eating healthy snacks and limiting sugar treats to special occassions. As long as you aren't pushing him to lose weight or exercise more, or saying things to make him feel ashamed. You are just providing a healthy balance of foods, as all parents should aim to do.
  • PrimalGirl
    PrimalGirl Posts: 148 Member
    Sounds like what you're doing is working a treat. I don't think you need any suggestions until/if his weight loss stalls or there are any side effects - lack of energy I imagine would be the biggest for an active child.

    Sounds to me like you're both doing great. Are you sharing his diet i.e. you're not telling him he can't eat a cupcake while eating a cupcake, are you? If you're leading by example I would think it would be easier for both of you. If you can get a dialogue going that benefits you both, it's something you're both going to stick at much longer.
  • I have discussed it with his doctor. He's very pleased with the progress he has made thus far. We (the doctor and myself) never really set a "goal weight" for my son but basically he has said that we need to just make sure he's making healthy choices (most of the time) and that as he grows, he'll likely grow into his weight if we can maintain where he is. I hope I'm making sense, not enough coffee yet! :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    My son was quite a bit over weight, 102 pounds at 7 years old. He's 52 inches tall and fairly muscular as well (he's very active playing ice hockey and soccer.) He has lost an average of a pound a week by just cutting out snacks and I am now making him breakfast instead of allowing him to eat his old standby of a sugary cereal. Obviously there are times that he still snacks but when he does it's something healthier like a piece of fruit, some veggies with hummus or a greek yogurt. He's still a child and I don't want to make any food seem "bad" and he's allowed to have certain things on occasion like a cupcake at a birthday party, or snack after a soccer game but we discuss making better choices and he's doing a much better job on his own making these choices now. He's now down to 93 pounds in about 8 weeks. He's still progressively losing about a pound a week and I figured the weight loss would slow down by now but hasn't. I know he still has a long way to go. I've set his goal at around 85 pounds, give or take. According to a healthy BMI for his size he would have to be at 65 pounds but I can't imagine him at that size. He's just built bigger if that makes any sense (already wears a size 5.5 in mens shoes!) Has anyone else successfully helped their child get to a healthy weight? Any suggestions?

    if you know he's lost about a pound a week then i presume you have weekly weigh ins? is that really necessary for a 7 year old?
  • KingRat79
    KingRat79 Posts: 125 Member
    No advice on helping a child to loose weight, but just thought I would put my 2c worth in on BMI. BMI is largley worthless unless you are compleatly averge. if your son play's a lot of sport and is more muscular becouse of that BMI is just about usless.
  • teresamwhite
    teresamwhite Posts: 947 Member
    We look at it from the perspective of getting healthy and making healthy choices, too. We don't tell DD, 10, that she is overweight, or that any foods are bad or good...She is 4'10 and 135lbs. She's a muscular girl, too, competing in judo, but she carries a lot of extra around her middle. I'm careful, too, not to talk about myself or my eating plan in those terms either. I talk about opting for an apple instead of a cupcake because its a healthier choice...we've also talked about things like heart disease and diabetes because she is at risk from both sides of our family.

    She started C25K with me last week, and she loves it. We use our walking time to talk about her day and other things going on with her. She is excited to try running a 5K with me in the spring. Her doctor thought it was an excellent idea...I'm lucky he doesn't talk about diets or tells kids they are overweight, he also talks about healthy choices and the importance of active play to be healthy.

    I don't track her food, but she does take her lunch everyday, and the menu is mutually decided upon.
  • Longtobelean
    Longtobelean Posts: 78 Member
    My 7 year old is 53 inches and 63 lbs. With that being said--he is extremely skinny and has a skinny frame. If your son has a stocky frame, I would imagine that 63-65 lbs wouldn't be right for him. When you went for his 7 year old well child visit, did the peditrician say anything then about his weight? Helping him to eat healthy isn't really a diet, so I think that is why you have it in quotes. That is just being a responsible parent and teaching him young. But if he is losing 1-2 lbs a week still, I would call and get him in. That seems fast for a child. Especially one that was already active.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    I would just say, if your taking away what you used to give your kids, (junk food, snacks, etc etc) hopefully your not eating it around them either as that is like a punishment to them. At 7 years old the kids don't have any choice but to eat what is at school or what you give them.. so in the end its your responsibility as a parent if your kid is overweight.
  • waltcote
    waltcote Posts: 372 Member
    Making the healthy choices will help in the years ahead. You see so many kids with parents at Walmart of the grocery store begging for something sugary or chips and parents give in to keep them quiet. And the kids are pudgy! i say let em cry! Sooner or later they'll learn the word "no"
  • mumblemagic
    mumblemagic Posts: 1,090 Member
    Well done you for doing what a lot of parents don't seem to want to do! Still discuss with the doctor and make sure that you're taking a measured approach. Don't want a future manorexic :smile:
    No advice on helping a child to loose weight, but just thought I would put my 2c worth in on BMI. BMI is largley worthless unless you are compleatly averge. if your son play's a lot of sport and is more muscular becouse of that BMI is just about usless.

    IMO BMI isn't entirely useless - although it's true that very muscular people won't necessarily be a healthy BMI you would have to do huge amounts of sport to get to that stage. BMI is a useful tool for doctors who can say you are overweight because your BMI is in the overweight range. It is a non-judgemental way of telling people they are fat without being insulting! In that respect, it is useful. I assume that because the OP has discussed this with her doctor, he has said this to her. It's also a useful guidline for people who do normal amounts of excercise to know roughly what weight they need to be. I wouldn't recommend going obsessive about it, but ignoring it is equally silly for the majority of the population.
  • klynshoe
    klynshoe Posts: 21 Member
    How are your eating habits? Sometimes the best motivation for a child is to see the example set by their parents. I wouldn't worry too much about his actual weight, other than what is recommended by his doctor. However, I think as long as you're making 'healthy eating' a life-long habit change and not a 'diet' is the best way to approach it with a child. Work together to lose weight if you struggle also - encourage him to keep you accountable also if he sees you eating something that he knows is not healthy! There's nothing more fun for a child than to 'correct' his parents... lol. :-)
  • Hestion
    Hestion Posts: 740 Member
    I have discussed it with his doctor. He's very pleased with the progress he has made thus far. We (the doctor and myself) never really set a "goal weight" for my son but basically he has said that we need to just make sure he's making healthy choices (most of the time) and that as he grows, he'll likely grow into his weight if we can maintain where he is. I hope I'm making sense, not enough coffee yet! :)

    but you have set a goal weight? Is this dr a ped? Sorry but cutting down junk i agree with but you describe an aim for the child to get to 85lbs and clearly weighing each week, specialists need consulting when children need to lose weight, not just the average gp?!
  • I know it's not really a diet since I put the word in quotations. I'm just trying to teach him a healthier way and not have him fall into the same crappy lifestyle that I did. I just don't buy things anymore that we don't need to eat. He does snack on healthier things when he's hungry, but when we first started a healthier way of eating I would ask him to think about if he was really hungry or if he was bored, because I know I would often reach for something to eat if I was bored.

    As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    I agree with the BMI, especially for children. He's a very solid child and I honestly think he'd be sickly at a "healthy" 65.

    I'm very proud of his success so far, was just curious if others had any luck with getting their children on the right track as well.
  • sunsetzen
    sunsetzen Posts: 268 Member
    When my stepdaughter was 7, she came home from 4 weeks at her mom's with three chins and wearing the only thing in her wardrobe that still fit--sweatpants and a tshirt--and she looked like a stuffed sausage. I didnt weigh her, but I reversed the damage from her poor diet there by just providing a wholesome, balanced diet with child-sized portions, healthy snacks and occassionally not so healthy ones. Its something we all did, not just her, and we didnt make any comments about how she looked before, during or after.

    If you're just doing a family lifestyle change but still serving healthy portions, I dont think anything else needs to be done. Make sure everyone is drinking a lot of water, eating fruits and vegetables and getting exercise. If you're going to be calorie counting for your 7 year old and focussing on weight and BMI, please talk to your doctor before doing anything.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    and what happens the week he doesnt lose weight... and doesnt get the attention for 'doing so well'?
  • I would just say, if your taking away what you used to give your kids, (junk food, snacks, etc etc) hopefully your not eating it around them either as that is like a punishment to them. At 7 years old the kids don't have any choice but to eat what is at school or what you give them.. so in the end its your responsibility as a parent if your kid is overweight.
    I don't eat any of those things either. I just don't buy them anymore. I never really did eat them. My issues came moreso from eating out all the time and not making good choices when I did so, and not being active. The kids now see me making better food choices and exercising daily. I know that it's my responsibility, that's why I'm taking control and trying to make a change. I don't want to be responsible for any health problems he would have because I allowed him to eat terrible foods. :(
  • My 12 year old is big. He is about 5 feet tall and over 100lbs, mostly in the middle. He spends most of his time with my mom (while I work) and she refuses to be smart about food. He is over weight, not obese and he is moderately active. He needs to make smarter choices when I am not there with him. He and I have had active conversations about health. We didn't discuss body images, just the effect of food on our body and energy level overall. Now he wants to get into competitive swim. Our conversations have evolved. He needs even better choices for that to be a successful activity for him, eating and movement... He is still growing and his body is ever changing. I just keep helping him to make better choices and moving forward. Good luck!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    TL;DR
    I just read the title, but please don't eat your children.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    If you talk to your Dr., do it when your son is not in the office with you. My daughter was at her 8 year old well-child appt and the Dr. told me that she was in the 95th percentile for weight and was on track to being obese as an adult. She overheard what he said and at home asked me questions. I explained what the 95th percentile meant and what she can do. She took it to a new level - we thought she was busy making healthy decisions (she maintained the same weight for three years) as she started eating healthier foods overall and was being very active with sports and extra - instead she was denying herself. At her well child appt this year, she was the same weight again and the Dr now mentioned that while she was in the 15th percentile and still considered healthy, that we needed to watch her. One of her tricks was not allowing herself to eat anything after dinner (5PM). But, that was was just one thing. She also was very concerned about being active and was focused on doing things with me - running and biking and zumba and yoga. This past summer before school started we went out to eat and we found her food on the floor by her feet...it was chicken strips and she claimed that the first one she dropped and the other two she deliberately let fall. Anyway, we had a long talk about health and about how denying herself was not good and what it would do to her body - we focused on the physical because she is 11 and is now concerned with the physical. She put on 10 lbs in one month and has maintained that now for the past couple of months and is what I would consider normal. According to her BMI, she is right at 45% percentile for her weight. She eats when she is hungry and is active. She makes healthy choices still but will allow herself a treat at night should she want one. She just looks better. I don't believe she was in full blown anorexia or bulemia but she was well on her way with her binging and purging. Keep looking out for your son and I would recommend that any conversations with your doctor just be with your doctor - don't let your son overhear the conversation especially if he is a perfectionist. Good luck!!
  • As far as the weekly weigh-in, yes, I do want to keep track of what's going on because I don't want things to get out of hand and him lose too much, too quickly. My husband and I are both nurses so maybe that's part of why we are so particular on documenting and keeping track of things on a regular basis. My son is very proud of his progress as well and he's been getting a ton of compliments from people. ;)

    and what happens the week he doesnt lose weight... and doesnt get the attention for 'doing so well'?
    There has been a time or two that there hasn't been a loss (he has averaged about a pound a week but not every single week has been a loss) and those weeks have been just fine! I'm not some monster. Nobody gets upset or disappointed. I tell him that he's done a great job and made good choices. I'd love him and am proud of him no matter what his size, I just want to try to make sure I give him the best shot at life possible. My ways may not be your ways, I understand that not everyone is going to agree with me and that's fine.
  • inktink
    inktink Posts: 135 Member
    OP, as long as you are leading by example and not actually putting him on a diet, I think you're doing fine. You are doing what more parents should be doing. There should be no end in sight, per se. There shouldn't be a "when he reaches this weight, we will stop," because all of these changes should be lifestyle changes, not temporary changes to induce weight loss.

    It sounds like you're doing all the right things, keep it up, and be proud of yourself for teaching your child(ren) to be healthy!
  • I have discussed it with his doctor. He's very pleased with the progress he has made thus far. We (the doctor and myself) never really set a "goal weight" for my son but basically he has said that we need to just make sure he's making healthy choices (most of the time) and that as he grows, he'll likely grow into his weight if we can maintain where he is. I hope I'm making sense, not enough coffee yet! :)

    but you have set a goal weight? Is this dr a ped? Sorry but cutting down junk i agree with but you describe an aim for the child to get to 85lbs and clearly weighing each week, specialists need consulting when children need to lose weight, not just the average gp?!
    Yes, his doctor is a pediatrician and I work for him. The "goal" that I have for him is just one I have in my mind. Nothing I've mentioned to my son or anything that I have set in stone. Just a weight that I think would likely be a good healthy weight for him, give or take a few pounds. I'm sure his weight loss will slow down a good bit once he gets closer to what his body is naturally set to be comfortable at.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I think it sounds like you are doing just fine...it isnt even so much of a diet as it is just helping him learn to make better food choices. There is nothing wrong with him eating healthy snacks and limiting sugar treats to special occassions. As long as you aren't pushing him to lose weight or exercise more, or saying things to make him feel ashamed. You are just providing a healthy balance of foods, as all parents should aim to do.

    QFT!

    Good for you for teaching your son better eating habits. Maybe now he won't end up being one of the growing number of children with diabetes and other obesity-related issues. Great mom points to you.