My Story

MyJourney1960

hugs honey and remember - your husband's cheating has nothing to do with your weight (which wasn't very high anyway), it has to do with him and his moral compass (or lack thereof).

whether you can move past this or not - learn to trust him or not - is something you, he and your therapists will have to work on.

good luck!

TavistockToad

if you decide to stay with your husband, maybe dont assault him in front of your kids again.

wifeymou1112

I'd like to give you some encouragement.

I know it'll be hard, but you will feel so much better when he is finally out of your life. It sounds like he was a real drag for a long time - dead weight, and its amazing that you were able to improve yourself despite his lack of encouragement.

Now that you are thinner, you are just that much sexier to every man out there who is looking for a woman whom he can appreciate. I am sure that once you can move past this, your confidence will blossom and every single man will notice! His affair was his problem - not yours. Do not let it eat you up inside. No woman deserves to be stuck with a man who doesn't care about her. You deserve better!!

This is exactly right. Yes, he is remorseful (boohoo for him, he got caught) no to all the other questions in your head that you keep going over. Will it always be in the back of your mind when he gets off the phone and you don't know who it is? Yes. Will you wonder where he's been when he's late? Yes. Bla bla bla... The trust is gone and he KILLED it.

Don't get me wrong it will be hard for a good few months or perhaps even a year... It will feel raw and you will feel hurt but it will fade. You will stop creating reasons for his behavior and begin to see that HE is a scheming (2.5 YEARS!!?!?!?), manipulative (Maybe it's best if you take the kids alone/don't join me at the party), smutty (4 weeks on holiday with mistress(mistrust!)) and doing it all the while behind yours and your children's backs! GROSS

It will be hard. You must stay strong. We only get one life. You deserve to be treated good with the level of trust that comforts you. I believe that you will find this :-) maybe not tomorrow... Maybe tomorrow :-) The future is bright.

Well done on the weight loss and all the best good luck :-)

katimama

I know what you are going through and it's horrible. Indescribable really. It's great you are getting professional help both as a couple and for yourself. Focus on yourself and continue to make yourself strong... bettering yourself will make your decision to leave (if you decide that is your best route) that much easier. If you are a person of faith, then pray ... a LOT. Remember that your self worth is not in your husband.

Greywalk

As a professional who has seen and heard this type of story more then I really thought it was possible in small town America...I would stay with the professionals. Your relationship with your husband and your family and friends is your business and your decision. You have done well and have a lot to work with...I use the word with deliberately it is not an mistake in English. As you go through all of this you will want to open up to people and we are here for that. But when it comes to advice, in your situation, only you and those you fully trust will be able to work with you though all of this...the good news is...there is an end to the misery part...the good news also is you have the ability to influence your story. Enjoy the journey is it self educating for sure. IN THE MEANTIME congrats on your successes, weight loss and counseling. In a throw away society it is refreshing to see someone who does not think throwing things or people away as the first option. Best thoughts.

mmouse90

Congrats on the weight loss. You are doing everything right about getting counseling for your marriage and yourself. Having the thoughts and questions you are having I would assume is normal since this is a huge thing. Not telling friends and family right now is probably a good idea since they would just keep asking you questions like how are you doing and some would try to give you advice. Wait till you figure out what is best for you and your kids then consider telling people. Even if you end the marriage you and your husband would have to be on good terms since that will help the kids adjust to the divorce so working through this now helps you in the long run either way.

Striving4Fit_MrsOrtiz

I'd like to give you some encouragement.

I know it'll be hard, but you will feel so much better when he is finally out of your life. It sounds like he was a real drag for a long time - dead weight, and its amazing that you were able to improve yourself despite his lack of encouragement.

Now that you are thinner, you are just that much sexier to every man out there who is looking for a woman whom he can appreciate. I am sure that once you can move past this, your confidence will blossom and every single man will notice! His affair was his problem - not yours. Do not let it eat you up inside. No woman deserves to be stuck with a man who doesn't care about her. You deserve better!!

This ^^^ and.. From reading your posts it sounds to me that you might feel your weight had something to do with his affair. If it did, he's a ba#tard! Why?? Because you're the mother of his children acc there's more to someone that just that number on the scale. Unfortunately, it is going to be hard to forget it ( as in not thinking about the affair everyday). It is a very painful thing to go through. I would suggest going to the next closest person like your mother or a sister. My sister in law has went through this with my brother and she's been through it twice. After the first time he promised her he'd never do it again 2 1/2 years later he did it again. I wouldn't put up with it. Be strong. Quit protecting him. I understand you about the children. But if you're all bottled up, thats not good for you either. Your the victim not him. Hope that all gets better!!

Hcmharing

With regards to punching him in front of the kids: I know. That was terrible. I hope I will never feel that hopeless and out of control again.

CardiC333

Ohh WAH WAH BLAH BLAH to people that are telling her this isn't the place for this topic.
We ALLL have our issues with our bodies for certain reasons and our own stories.
That's why were here no? To share our situations, get help and spread what we've learned.
Nooooo ones alone. And this is really going to give future and past people IN this situation or not a lot of inspiration. So sthu and go to church if your in shock for people sharing deep issues.
TALK TALK TALKITY TALK girl!!!!! Your doing amazing. And I'm so happy you shared.
Grrrrreat luck!! And I'm sorry. But congratulations! (: