Ways to approach goals, how do successful dieters succeed?

WannabeStressFree

Hi everyone,

I've been on the weight loss journey since I was in the 2nd grade, I was born chubby and have stayed that way for most of my life. I've tried every diet out there, not something I'm proud of. I've yo-yo'd a lot, and lately, I'm finally approaching this differently. It's evolved into a TDEE- 20%, I'm now weight lifting and doing cardio at the gym. I obsess less, though the scale hasn't budged, as a matter of fact I recently gained about 5lbs, I was training for a marathon and I was starving most of the time.
I'm now taking time off from running, and don't feel that pressure anymore.

Anyways, my reason for posting, is because I'm curious how successful dieters have viewed their goals and kept at them? I used to quickly lose weight when I'd go low carb and/or super low calorie, then quickly gain it back. I'm no longer following that path, yet I used to get discouraged, but lately I'm fine with it because I feel great! I am a food lover, so I decided to eat IIFYM or simply if it fits into my calorie goals, if I go over, I'll do extra cardio (like last night). I've accepted the fact that this will probably take me a long time, but this time I'm ok with it. I just started a 6month lifting program and I'm pushing myself, I'm putting so much faith in it, though it's something I actually like that I never thought I would like. I guess there are always things to learn about ourselves. Please share, if you care, what works for you, what you've learned.
I hope to hear some stories, thanks for viewing!
-Miriam

WannabeStressFree

I'll add that thankfully, my health is good and I want to keep it that way.

PinkCoconut

I can totally relate to you, Miriam! I'd been overweight since childhood and it wasn't until I was 27 that I had a major a-ha moment and have since managed to lose over 100 lbs and keep it off (well, I'm not pregnant and am gaining but I'm in control of it)!

First, you're right, it won't happen overnight. For people like us who've been overweight our whole lives we have a whole lotta bad habits to break! What worked for me was a lot of things but here are the most important:

1) I found a goal that internal, not external. Losing weight for the sake of being skinny is an external goal. When I started to lose weight because I was afraid of keeling over from a heart attack before I was 40, that really got my *kitten* in gear! Find your WHY to keep you going!

2) I ditched the diets completely! Diets don't work (as we've come to know). All they do is cause misery and weight gain. If you want to get the weight off and keep it off permanently you're going to have to change your lifestyle. I LOVE to eat and so I stopped restricting what I could and could not eat. Instead, I began to work on portion control and switching to cleaner, non-processed foods 80% of the time, keeping my favourite, more unhealthy foods for treats.

3) Start small. I just started by getting rid of all the snacks in my house. Then I got rid of any drink that wasn't water. Then I started going for walks. I started small to switch my unhealthy habits over to my healthier ones. This helped to make things less overwhelming and so that they stick.

4) I found workouts that I enjoy. There's no point in working out for the sake of working out. When you find a workout that you actually enjoy, you're less likely to make excuses!

5) I began researching the habits of highly fit people. I started to ACT like a fit person instead of a heavier person!

6) I got support! I surrounded myself with people who wanted to see me achieve my goals, got a coach (and have since become a coach myself)

7) Most importantly, I worked on my MINDSET! I stopped allowing myself to "fail" and began adopting a more positive and loving attitude towards myself. For people like us who've been overweight our whole lives there tends to be an underlying reason for our weight. Once you get to the bottom of what's kept you overweight, you'll find that the weight just kind of starts coming off because you're dealing with the actual issue instead of what we THINK is the issue (food). Does that make sense?

Feel free to friend me! We should chat!

Therese

selfepidemic1

I started to succeed when I stopped viewing food as the enemy. I changed my diet entirely, and I stopped feeling bloated and sick and then for me, its not just a weight loss thing but for comfort/taste and I don't feel sick.

Its about finding your place, losing weight varies from one person to the other, and success depends entirely on if you're happy with the food you are eating. If you aren't, then its not right for you!

MB_Positif

As cliche as it sounds, slow, steady, sustainable. I never restricted what type of foods I could eat though I have a few foods I gradually stopped eating because they weren't worth the calories to me. I never looked at exercise as a chore, but a privilege. I also don't over work myself. Throughout my weight loss I only worked out 2-4 times per week. I lost 50+ pounds in a year and have kept it all off for nearly 2 years now. I had one small gain of about 6 pounds post major surgery. Good luck!

deksgrl

Diets are temporary. You have to find the way you can change in a way that can be sustained for the rest of your life.

iechick

This is the first time I've lost weight/have been in maintenance and I'm here because of a diabetes scare I had last fall. I never thought of myself as overweight, but when my doctor showed me my glucose level and told me I needed to lose weight asap to keep from becoming diabetic, that motivated me to change. I've seen first hand what diabetes can do (lost one grandfather to it and currently my only living grandparent is losing her battle to diabetes, after surviving cancer three times-it's the diabetes that's going to be her end ). I'll never ever go back to where I was, my health and quality of life is way more important to me.

I lost the weight easily doing a calorie restricted version of IF and now I'm in maintenance, doing a different version of IF and eating a mostly whole foods, plant based diet. I will be part of that 5% that maintains successfully-failure to do so is just not an option for me.

happysherri

What works for me -
80/20 plan -eat healthy 80% (or more) eat the 'junk' about 20%
MOVE, MOVE, MOVE - sounds like you have the right idea with this. I do the same - if I know I will splurge that day I get an extra workout in!
Instead of the scale I set calorie burning goals each week. This is because not every week is the same, some are busier than others. (the most I think I've burned was 5800 cals in 1 week and last week was an awful week so it was about 1000 - had bad news in the family)

Of course, having patience is part of it. Congrats so far and goodluck

_HeartsOnFire_

Diets are temporary. You have to find the way you can change in a way that can be sustained for the rest of your life.

This...she speaketh the truth! That's why the low carb thing never quite stuck for you. You have to not just plan what to do to reach your goal, you also have to plan what to do AFTER you reach it.

PetulantOne

Slow and steady. It's taken me a year and a half to lose 50 pounds, but my new eating habits are second nature now.

I also subscribe to IIFYM, so I don't ever feel deprived.

Making small changes was probably the best thing I ever did for myself though. In the past, I would try to change everything all at once. When I failed at one piece of the equation, I gave up on the whole thing. Now I tackle one thing at a time. When I feel I'm ready, I move on to the next.

Keeping exercise goals separate from weight loss goals has also helped a lot. I run because I want to be faster. I lift weights because I want to be stronger. It's another thing that helps with my all or nothing mentality.

Good luck.

kill3rtofu

this may sound silly, but whenever i cut, i just having many small snacks in between meals to appease my hunger.

WannabeStressFree

Agreed, I see now all those diets are simply a road to misery, at least in my experience.
I know they might work for some people, but definitely not for me. It's hard to let go of those lose weight quick promises, though. I'm still tempted to go low carb and keep fighting the idea.

cwolfman13

Focusing on the process rather than an arbitrary goal weight. Focus on your nutrition and fitness. Just eat a little bit less to lose weight...have an energy balance to maintain weight...eat more to gain weight. The reason people fail is that they are so obsessed with some arbitrary finish line. This finish line does not exist...there is no end point and this is conceptually difficult for many.

Nutrition and Fitness are lifetime endeavors...you don't stop getting your fitness on just because you reach some arbitrary goal weight...you don't stop getting your nutrition on either. That's a huge issue right there...people so closely associate their exercise and fitness with needing/wanting to lose weight that they actually fail to have independent fitness goals...if you don't have independent fitness goals, what is there to keep you motivated to keep cranking out a good workout once you've crossed this "finish line?"

The process is ever evolving...goals are achieved and new goals are established. When I hit my goal weight, I never let off the gas...I saw maintenance as an opportunity to put into functional practice what I had learned nutritionally speaking as well as an opportunity to start breaking through some fitness plateaus. Increased energy (calories) = crushing your fitness. After months of maintaining I'm now in the process of a very long and slow cut to trim down a few more BF points so that I can put myself in position for a nice slow bulk that is slated to take place right around this time next year...

trudijoy

my goal was never weight loss, it was control. My goal weight was arbitrary, really. Now I've focused on a goal number because I have control of the process - and for someone like me with a history of food and exercise abuse, that's gold.

I think where people fail is 'I have to lose x kg / fit this specific garment by this specific date'. It's too much pressure. Focus on healthy, sustainable changes and you get there.

elkahallick

Make plan, dive in head first, stick to your plan, don't give up and surround yourself with good people.. Good things will follow

mama2cam

It helped a lot when i started logging my food.

WannabeStressFree

Thanks for the great replies! I think now I need to re think my goals, I was doing weight related goals, but I agree with not doing this. I'll sleep on this and re think my plan and strategy. thanks again!

trudijoy

also, tick off mini milestones. I have a list on my phone of when each kg vanished, and when I got into each size, into my goal jeans etc etc. Makes for pretty inspiring reading when the scales are being a$$h0les I also have comparison pics taken one year apart, and I keep a visual reminder of each next mini goal on my phone too

Adc7225

Hello,

July of 2012 I joined a gym, made sure everyone I know was clear that I was not on a diet, but did understand that my eating would change. My best friend and I had a bet that by my 45th birthday (8/2013) . . . I would in hot-pants (in my house) and he would have a 6-pack (not in the fridge) -- fast forward to the present. I am down 58 lbs and he complains about his muffin-top

In some ways I think, wow! it took me over a year to lose 50 lbs but the reality is that the time was going to pass anyway and I could either be 50 lbs lighter or the same. Sometimes I just really want this to be done, I want to be at my goal weight so I can buy some clothes that fit and be done with that part of things. But I am going with slow and steady wins the race, I tried dieting for about 5 days! I was out-of-sorts and grumpy, knowing I was not getting enough calories.

The changes in my eating have been because I listen to my body and with working out even more so. I cook most of my meals, lunch and dinner is usually meat and two vegetables, snacks are usually fruit and nuts, but I still have sweets. I see my changes as real life, which includes the occasional pizza, chocolate, ice cream, etc. . . these changes will be for life!

WannabeStressFree

thanks for sharing!

WannabeStressFree

BUMP

elkahallick

Go to staples and get one of those easy buttons, they are red, if you can't find it ask someone, it will be the last time you ever have to ask for help since you will then own an easy button..

Francl27

I tried a diet when I was much younger that just resulted in me gaining all the weight back and more. So I decided that the next time I'd do one, I'd do it the smart way, so I don't gain the weight back (well, hopefully), so it would have to be a lifetime thing. It took me years to get mentally ready for it but once I was, I dived right in, and truth is, it's been so much easier than I thought.

For me the idea of diet was no more sweets, no more cheese, no more of the things I love... but I still have them every day. Had I known what I know now, I might have done it a long time ago honestly. I don't starve myself, I use TDEE-20%, weigh all my food, and I eat pretty much what I want within my calories, but making good choices also so I'm not hungry - I hate being hungry. So I can pretty much eat 200-300 calories of junk every day if I feel like it. It's great. And I've learned to make healthier, delicious meals or snacks (or treats). I do make myself move more so I can eat more though.

I know I'll have to pretty much log my food all my life so I don't gain the weight back though... and that's ok. It's been totally worth it.

lithezebra

I learned to break every goal down into tiny steps, with many, many small rewards along the way.