what would you do?!?!

Losing2Live1989
Losing2Live1989 Posts: 423 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
So last night the hubby and I got to talking and he wants a baby now. Wants me to go ahead and get pregnant then lose weight after the baby. But I want to get my health under control first and get my diabetes under control. So we had August 1 set as our baby making date. I told him to give me will January 1 to prove I can get on track and lose weight and we will wait till August. And if I don't get on track by then and I'm still making excuses then we will go ahead and try for a baby. We have put trying for a baby off for two years now. And I know If I'm not on track by January it will be just like all the other times and I still won't have lost no weight on August! So with that set I'm ready more then ever to get on track and prove to myself and family that I can do this!!! What do y'all think?!?!

Replies

  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    I'd buckle down and lose the weight, get healthy and bring a healthy baby into the world. You aren't only jeopardizing your own health by being pregnant but that of your unborn child especially if you are Type II diabetic. If I wanted a baby bad enough I'd do the work necessary to make sure it was a safe experience for everyone.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    seriously? Having diabetes & getting pregnant is not the greatest thing. I have been T1 for 30 years & my pregnancy involved a coma. Tell him 2 let u get healthy before this-please!
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    I'm pulling for you to get fit, get safe, and get pregz. And if not all of those, then at least the first. Good luck.
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
    Just some food for thought ...

    Do you want a baby? Cause reading your post kinda gave me the feeling that you are not quite there. If you deep down don't want a baby, you do need to talk to your husband, because he deserves to know.

    Another thing to consider is your age. It does get progressively harder as you get older and yes you do want to be in good health for it, but if you have been putting it off for 2 years, how many more years do you want to wait?
  • selfepidemic1
    selfepidemic1 Posts: 159 Member
    If you don't want too, don't. Its your body and you're the one that has to put in those 9 months of leg work. Sit him down and tell him how you truly feel. Don't be bullied into a lifetime decision because he really wants a kid.
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    Be sure to talk to a doctor about your diabetic situation and plans for pregnancy if you haven't already. Your husband's not the one who has to carry the baby, you are. Don't let him pressure you into anything you or your doctor aren't comfortable with. Health first!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Well, coming from someone who's struggled with infertility, I'd say that waiting to have a baby is not always a good decision. But it seems to me that you don't really want one anyway, so you probably should wait anyway...
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
    I would say you already know what is best.
    My story was somewhat the same, just different health problems.
    I went and had the discussion with a doctor and got the cold hard reality check I needed. Even if I took 4 years to try to get rid of my health problems before baby it most likely would not happen. It seems that, more likely than not, my problems are here for the long haul and a little more time wouldn't help.
    So, instead, I stayed under the care of said doctor to help me monitor my health problems during pregnancy and I got pregnant.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    Get healthy first. Diabetes is a serious complication to a pregnancy...andvfirst and foremost you want a healthy baby at the end of a normal healthy pregnancy, right?
  • kw1452
    kw1452 Posts: 113 Member
    I don't know if this is a fact, but I think its alot less work to lose the baby weight, no matter how much you gain, if you start the pregnancy at a healthy weight. If you start the pregnancy as a larger woman, you will probably be able to go back down to that current weight, but losing beyond that will be the same nightmare it is now. The joy of losing weight after the baby is that breast feeding makes pounds melt away, but only so much.

    I've never had a baby, so I dont really know, but all my thin friends ended up even thinner after losing the baby weight while all my larger friends ended up even larger.
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
    Smart to put it off and get yourself on track first. Do consult with your doc on it before you decide to go full baby Making mode ;) otherwise, what wonderful motivation to get in shape!!
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    Your own health comes first. Having diabetes will make you a higher risk pregnancy.
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    Having diabetes, you are already at risk with pregnancy. Speak with your endocrinologist or family physician and discuss your options and outcomes with him or her. You want to give yourself, as well as your future child the best possible odds for success!!

    Good luck when you do decide to conceive and have your child, and with your health being the best it can be, you will have tons of fun and positive results!!!
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    If you've already put off the baby for two years due to waiting for you to get yourself healthy - which obviously hasn't happened - it sounds to me like the motivation level for having a baby is not that high.

    At a minimum, that's what I'd be thinking if I was the other partner in the relationship.

    If you're going to have a baby in an unhealthy state, I can only hope you do it under abundant medical supervision.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    If you've already put off the baby for two years due to waiting for you to get yourself healthy - which obviously hasn't happened - it sounds to me like the motivation level for having a baby is not that high.

    At a minimum, that's what I'd be thinking if I was the other partner in the relationship.

    This.
  • ThePlight
    ThePlight Posts: 3,593 Member
    If you're not ready yet, you need to let him know. If you don't know how, speak to a doctor and explain your concerns, so perhaps the doctor can explain it better for you.
  • MickeyBoo
    MickeyBoo Posts: 196 Member
    Coming from someone who has had 4 out of my 5 pregnancies with diabetes I can safely say that the better you have your diet, exercise and head under control the safer for you and your future babies. Any pregnancy can turn high risk, but a pregnancy where you're already starting out with diabetes and overweight then it's immediately high risk. You need to factor that into your decision making and also your goals in terms of losing weight. It was a good motivation for me to try and get as healthy as possible within the timeframe we had set before trying to conceive each child we have.

    I have fantastic control of my sugars but with pregnancy hormones they just go crazy, I still had to be medicated and then go onto insulin injections 2-3 times a day for majority of each pregnancy. I had to be induced 2-3 weeks early with three of them due to the insulin breaking down the placenta and causing issues with slow growth from 28 weeks for one, and luckily no issues for the others except for slow growth in the final weeks.

    My first pregnancy with diabetes went undiagnosed, I was all clear at the 28 week glucose test, and at 31 weeks it all went haywire. They didn't pick it up and my baby was born macrosomic at 11pd 1oz. She stopped breathing at birth and had mild shoulder dystocia getting her out. ALL diabetic mothers on insulin or not run the risk of being at either end of the size scale, a large baby due to the inability to get sugars under control or a small baby due to deterioration of the placenta.

    There are a lot of different rules for diet when pregnant which you also have to adapt to. All of which are more of a Low GI and very healthy so the better your diet is before you fall pregnant the easier it will be to adapt.

    I was able to actually lose 10kg (22pd) in the first 16 weeks of pregnancy and only regain 8kg (17pd) in total for each of my three last pregnancies. The recommended gain for someone my weight and height is 12kg (26pd) maximum. I lost all the pregnancy weight after birth and a bit more and if it hadn't been for me herniating a disc two times then I would have been able to lose weight or at least maintain.

    Aside from all of that if you're not ready you're not ready, and you shouldn't feel forced into a situation that is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. Discuss the risk factors with your husband, show him in black and white just whats involved with the type of pregnancy that you may be heading for if you rush into things while you're not at your goal.

    But also set some small goals for yourself, break it down into reachable steps so that you can experience success, focus on the first 5pds and forget the rest, the when you get there, focus on the next 5. See a dietician and get some advice on what dietary requirements you need now but also during pregnancy as you can basically follow a pregnancy plan and lose weight effectively anyway.

    And if you ever need support along the way feel free to add me as a friend as I'm more than happy to help out anyway I can :)

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