Stress at work

Patriots96

I have been dealing with a lot of stress at work lately. I am a paralegal and the 2 attorneys I work for are women. They are very demanding and I do my very best to keep up with them. I don't take breaks, except for lunch and to go to the bathroom. I have been at my job a year and a half. In Sept I complained to HR b/c one of the attorneys literally yelled at me for something I did, which she had told me to my face to do. I had done it a week prior and told her I emailed her a copy of what I sent (that she claims she did not tell me to send) and she never apologized for her mistake. Ok, whatever. Well, the next thing I know, I am called into HR and told my attorneys are concerned about my job performance. Then we have a meeting giving me an "action plan" of things I am supposed to be doing. Many of these things are news to me. In other words, for the past year and a half, I have not done these things b/c I was never told to. They assumed I knew. yeah, right. Never mind I constantly ask them if I can do anything more to help them. And on occasion, by the one who yelled at me, I was told that I did something that she handles. Needless to say, I am hesitant to take initiative with her for fear of being yelled at again. I then worked 2 Saturdays to try to get stuff done to meet all these new guidelines, then was told my work was worse, not better. Well, duh, I was told to hurry up and do all this stuff and hurrying leads to more mistakes. Am just feeling beaten down at work right now. And of course, it is time for end of year reviews. Both attorneys gave me low ratings due to all the new developments and I feel like they are setting me up for failure with their outrageous expectaions. I even went to lunch w/a co worker who is a more senior paralegal and told her about what is going on and asked for advice. she said that what they want me to do is too much, at least for working with these 2 busy attorneys. She suggested I ask to change attorneys so the workload is so high. I offered to change attorneys but things have stayed the same. My anxiety level has been through the roof (despite already being on anxiety meds) and I have trouble going to sleep at night due to worry. I work hard and try not to focus on the negative, but just feeling so beaten down right now and I am not a confident person to begin with, so this is really hard. I need some encouragement, anything you can offer to help me deal with this as leaving is not an option. I have to press on. It is now affecting my diet and that makes me mad. I find myself snacking just from stress and I don't want to mess up my weight loss. I am still doing my workouts but my eating is not as good as it was. I have to force myself to diary the foods. Please help me fellow MFPers! I need a confidence booster, please? :frown:

SlimJanette

I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It sounds like it is too much work for 1 person. I worked in an office like that and when I was asked to do something I confirmed it with an email to cover my butt.

Can you look for another job or contact HR again about moving to another lawyer?

It is easy to say it is only a job and don't stress but you still will. Can you sit down with the lawyers one on one and explain your feelings and ask if they are looking for you to leave? Be open and honest with them.

Hope it gets better!

ehorn625

You are in a no-win situation. Brush up the resume and start looking. These 2 attorneys sound like no one will ever be able to do what they want or expect. Its a job. not your life. You deserve to be treated better. I had a boss come into my office and start yelling at me. While he was yelling, I packed up my personal belongings, told him to shove it and walked out the door. I have never regretted that decision. We spend too much time at work to be that miserable. Good luck!

SamanthaD1218

Hey there! I have to say, I know exactly how you feel. I started a new job about a year ago, and my bosses are the same. I work for a law school, so maybe it's something about lawyers? Haha, who knows!

I used to go home every night and cry. I was so miserable, and I was making everyone around me miserable. I gained back some of the weight I had lost and I felt trapped. I tried going to HR, but my bosses are well-known for being difficult and have been that way for 30+ years, so I knew there wasn't much they could do.

I had to learn not to take their actions personally. I tell myself that my boss is an unhappy woman (which she is), and that she's nasty to everyone. I do the best that I can at my job, and in the meantime I look for new opportunities!

Hang in there and try to stay positive!

deksgrl

Try to think of it this way..... food is one sure thing you can control. You can do the best you can with work but you can't control these bosses or how they are going to react.

hannahlbur

I feel your pain - I have too had a bad experience of working for two different solicitors. Both nightmares.
The last team I worked for the boss was hideous - constantly telling me what I was doing was not good enough, talking down to me, being critical, threatened to cancel my week off if I didn't get on top of the never ending pile of work from everyone - so had to work lunches and stay late unpaid and bust my gut just to get a week off, she made me do a daily list of everything I had done then sat there and pulled it apart saying it wasn't good enough, compared me unfavourably to other secretaries in the firm. The team I worked with also followed her bad example and were extremely nasty and back stabbing to me and each other.

With hindsight I should have gone over her head sooner and reported it to a director. But as I think you have said it seems pointless. I felt it was as I was just a minion and the solicitors are the ones who are revered.

Have a long think about what you want to do and decide whether there is someone in HR you can speak to, is it worth trying to move teams, or whether you need to just stick it out until you find something else.

Derpes

Know your rights - just because they are legal "professionals" does not mean that they are not treating you within the letter of the law.

http://www.aflcio.org/Issues/Civil-and-Workplace-Rights/Your-Rights-at-Work

http://www.eeoc.gov/youth/rights.html

Patriots96

Thank you all for your kind words. I really do appreciate it. I guess I just need to hear that this is out of my control, beyond doing my job the best way I know how. I internalize my anxiety and when it finally comes out, it is not pretty :ohwell:

So glad to have my MFP friends to vent to. You guys understand and are so supportive :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: