Once you teach yourself, teach your babes.

laney_reign

Hey guys

My name is Whitney and I hail from Nebraska (grew up in Utah). I'm 23 years old, and weigh 320LBS, at 5'3. Growing up my father worked during dinner times, and my mom made what we could afford and I ate it trustingly. My parents are both overweight, but not at the level I've achieved. I was never taught to control what I ate, or think about how it would affect me, as I grew up. As soon as I could 'cook' for myself (age 8) my mom went back to work, and we fended for ourselves. I mostly ate canned foods (ravioli, chili) or TV dinners. I was always aware of being fat, since a very young age (misconstrued baby fat, to regular fat) but until a certain point, I had no control over what I ate.

In my teen years I was aware, my mom would ask us what we wanted for food, and I'd start cooking but they weren't good choices (better than TV dinners I suppose) but the portions were always 'whatever'; usually whatever I could fit in until I felt uncomfortable. I should have been smarter then, but again, I was never taught what was right or what to do. I knew basics as I grew into adult life, but now my habits and eating rituals have been ingrained and I find myself looking at a morbidly obese person in the mirror every day.

Aside from my eating, I lacked exercise. My family moved, a lot. I switched elementaries, two middle schools and by high school I gave up keeping real friends. I also grew up in a completely sheltered Mormon culture, and having become agnostic, no friends were close. I kept online friends. I played online games, online I could stick around awhile, keep the same friends. If I moved IRL it didn't matter there. So my physical activity paled, and combo with food I've become this.

Surprisingly, I met a guy online who I've fallen in love with. We live together now in Nebraska. He's a nerd too, but his eating and exercise habits are normal (no gym, but he bikes and works construction/mason) and eats food moderately. (He doesn't really think about it, no emotional attachments) and I always thought if I could fall in love, my self esteem and will to fight the weight would succeed. As much as I do love him, I still don't love me. This magical relationship didn't change anything in the psychological weight department. However, I find myself unable (like I'm disabled) to keep up with him. I have no bike, but I'm sure that'll be strenuous. Even walking to nearby gas station (a block) has proven difficult, so in embarrasment, I don't go at all. He goes though, easily, nearly every day.

I finally am with someone whom I love, physically (not online) that I can DO fun things with and... I can't. Because of the weight. Even sex is difficult, and it's heart-wrenching, because he deserves better, and so do I.

So, I am here, again, to learn to teach myself to take care of me. To learn what foods are great to eat in abundance, what ones in moderation, portion control overall and little steps towards more physical activity. One other thing - My BF has a 4 year old daughter. I make sure to feed her the right things, and to make sure she's having plenty of physical activity (me, just watching) because she needs to be taught what I wasn't. I hope I succeed with teaching myself to care for my body.

TLDR: once you teach yourself to eat well and exercise often, make sure to teach your children, too.