How to motivate family to lose weight

czechwolf52

I'm a college student living away from home at the moment, but in about a month's time I'll be back home for Christmas break. I'm about 2/3 through my weight loss journey and I really want my family to get healthy too. There's my dad, mom, myself, and sister, and all together we could stand to lose 100 pounds. We have a family gym membership but I'm really the only one who uses it when I'm home. I'm really concerned about my sister, she's short (4'10) and has had 4 operations on her feet/knees the past 2 years and she's really gained weight because she couldn't do anything for 4 months with each surgery. My dad's also complaining that his knee is hurting, but he says he needs to lose 30-40 pounds. I love my family, but I want them to be happy and healthy. They've expressed interest before in losing weight, but how do I get them started? I'm going to graduate next December and I would love for all of us to lose 100 by then, but I fear that they might put off such a long term goal, what can I do?

p4ulmiller

First things first. People don't get fat because they've for sore knees or had surgery. They get fat because they eat too much

You can't motivate someone to lose weight; they have to do that all by themselves. Seeing you doing so well and watching how simple it really is could just be the spur they need.

Good luck!

czechwolf52

First things first. People don't get fat because they've for sore knees or had surgery. They get fat because they eat too much

I should've clarified that. My sister was at a healthy weight and then continued to eat normally even though she just sat around all day. And I can almost guarantee that my dad's recent knee pain is from his weight, and if he loses it then the pain will probably go away.

Jkn922

I feel if anyone tries to push me to lose weight it really messes with my emotions about the whole process, I tend to get into a bit of a spiral and go to comfort-eating, however, when I'm on my own and want to do it for myself (everyone else tries to make it about them) I find it really easy. I don't know how your family may react but that's my personal experience. Bear that in mind.

With the exercise/weight loss - it's probably best to start with cleansing the diet a bit first - get rid of junk food, snacks, drinks etc. Then gradually get your family to do more physical activity with you. You can say 'I really want to do this with you before I go back to college on my own, can't you just spare 5 mins" and take it from there. Once you get in with 5 minutes they'll find it hard to stop and may get into the swing of things.

I've always found it difficult to get anyone to do anything

IanBee93

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

Jkn922

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

It's not really insulting, he has stated that he's trying to help his family who themselves said they need to lose weight. If they acknowledge the problem can't really complain when someone tries to help you make it happen even though it will be difficult. I'd suggest you attempt to help them but don't force them to do it. They may follow your example and get on with it themselves.

czechwolf52

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

It's not really insulting, he has stated that he's trying to help his family who themselves said they need to lose weight. If they acknowledge the problem can't really complain when someone tries to help you make it happen even though it will be difficult. I'd suggest you attempt to help them but don't force them to do it. They may follow your example and get on with it themselves.

Thank you. We've tried many times before as a family to get healthier by a certain time (weddings, vacations, etc) and we would make it about halfway and then we just stopped. They really do try at times, but then things happen and they just get too busy. My parents like walking around our neighborhood (2 miles and lots of hills) and they don't eat terribly, besides my sister we've all maintained our weight for at least 5 years, it's just that they have problems sticking to it. It's taken me nearly 9 months to lose this weight and I just want to help them because they've asked for it before or they've said how they don't like how big they are.

Jkn922

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

It's not really insulting, he has stated that he's trying to help his family who themselves said they need to lose weight. If they acknowledge the problem can't really complain when someone tries to help you make it happen even though it will be difficult. I'd suggest you attempt to help them but don't force them to do it. They may follow your example and get on with it themselves.

Thank you. We've tried many times before as a family to get healthier by a certain time (weddings, vacations, etc) and we would make it about halfway and then we just stopped. They really do try at times, but then things happen and they just get too busy. My parents like walking around our neighborhood (2 miles and lots of hills) and they don't eat terribly, besides my sister we've all maintained our weight for at least 5 years, it's just that they have problems sticking to it. It's taken me nearly 9 months to lose this weight and I just want to help them because they've asked for it before or they've said how they don't like how big they are.

Ah the timing is always the worst part - it's like you work up to a date then just stop, that idea has to go. Healthy weight loss cannot be seen as a temporary thing, it's a change in lifestyle. You obviously know this but hopefully you can get it to be a habit for your family. For problems sticking to it, the best thing to do is take it slowly and change one thing at a time - reduce soda/juice to once a week, eat smaller portions etc. small changes lead to large results over an extended period of time.

Congratulations on your weight loss and well done for sticking to it so long

elkahallick

Lead by example, don't preach your life style because that will have the opposite affect.

IanBee93

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

It's not really insulting, he has stated that he's trying to help his family who themselves said they need to lose weight. If they acknowledge the problem can't really complain when someone tries to help you make it happen even though it will be difficult. I'd suggest you attempt to help them but don't force them to do it. They may follow your example and get on with it themselves.

I don't think you understood what I was saying, or how people's minds work. Someone knows they have to lose weight, but be careful on how you go on about it. If you see them eating chips or fried food, don't say ''I thought you were trying to lose weight, eat this instead''. You also can't make someone have will power. If they ask for your advise tell them about calorie control, if they are too busy to go to the gym? It's up to them if they really want to change.

Gkfrkv

What you can do is offer to cook and then make slightly healthier versions. Make healthier snacks for yourself and if anyone asks about what your eating tell them and ask if they want to taste.

Don't be preachy. Don't talk about how much more healthy they can be. Just let it be what it is. Them eating something you've prepared for them.

Who usually does the cooking? Because if you want to make some small changes to make hings healthier.

But you have to remember that nothing will change unless your family wants to make the change and unfortunately often you have to hit rock bottom before you realize you have to change.

ladymiseryali

You can't force people to lose weight. They have to make the steps themselves. HOWEVER, you can lead by example. Offer to cook some healthy dinners for the family. See if everyone wants to go to the gym together one day, or just go for a nice walk. There are little things you can do, but they have to want to do it.

Mady1911

My mum has been morbidly obese most of her adult life, always claiming she doesn't eat and her weight is hormone related. But I lived with her and know how she cooks and how she eats. No portion control! She's close to 60 and has no idea how to use a computer. I've printed 2 elaborate lists with calories per 100g product and send it to her( she's 1800 miles from me). For the first time she admitted she had no idea she was eating so much! Since she's had two herniated discs operations and at 110kg she cannot run. But she does walk! Daily! She is anxiously waiting the results!
It took years to convince her to do something! But I've made it and proud to say I'm leading by example. Send her some pics with my weightloss and she's impressed what -10kg can do to your appearance.
Bottom line, you know them best...adapt their lifestyle and capacities to achievable changes.
Good luck and don't give up until you succed. It's for their own good! Regards.

kobiemom

You can't force people to lose weight. They have to make the steps themselves. HOWEVER, you can lead by example. Offer to cook some healthy dinners for the family. See if everyone wants to go to the gym together one day, or just go for a nice walk. There are little things you can do, but they have to want to do it.

^^^ This. I went through something similar with my family, but I'm the mom. I finally decided to do my best for me and to be a good example. I cooked healthy meals and kept fruit and healthy snacks in the house, but didn't make anyone eat them. They were supportive of me, but did their own thing at first. I knew I was being watched. I tried to be patient. It took a couple of years but they're all on my diet at this point. I have company on my walks and trips to the gym now. Be patient and positive. Avoid lectures. They just put people to sleep. Good luck!

kw85296

You can't change people if they are not ready for it, but as others have said you can lead by example. Possibly a way to encourage them to join you on your weight loss journey, might be to ask the next time you are home if anyone would be willing to help you by joining you on your fitness journey and become your accountability partner. That way you are not insulting them but asking them for their help for you. The idea of helping you may be more appealing than the idea that they have to do something for themselves.

darkrose20

Lead by example, don't preach your life style because that will have the opposite affect.

THIS. Also, maybe you should try cooking for the family from time to time. They will either eat the healthy fare you have set out or go elsewhere. Either way, sounds like they are adults and--ultimately--make their own decisions.

skinnybythanksgiving

Great advice Miller!

Jkn922

Like someone else said, you don't get fat from sitting around after surgery. It's all about calorie control. Your sister actually could have lost weight, if she were more aware of how much she was eating. Weight loss is 80% of what we eat.

Also you can't get someone to lose weight. You may think you're being helpful, but it sounds insulting.

It's not really insulting, he has stated that he's trying to help his family who themselves said they need to lose weight. If they acknowledge the problem can't really complain when someone tries to help you make it happen even though it will be difficult. I'd suggest you attempt to help them but don't force them to do it. They may follow your example and get on with it themselves.

I don't think you understood what I was saying, or how people's minds work. Someone knows they have to lose weight, but be careful on how you go on about it. If you see them eating chips or fried food, don't say ''I thought you were trying to lose weight, eat this instead''. You also can't make someone have will power. If they ask for your advise tell them about calorie control, if they are too busy to go to the gym? It's up to them if they really want to change.

I agree 100% as that has been the case with myself too.

czechwolf52

You can't change people if they are not ready for it, but as others have said you can lead by example. Possibly a way to encourage them to join you on your weight loss journey, might be to ask the next time you are home if anyone would be willing to help you by joining you on your fitness journey and become your accountability partner. That way you are not insulting them but asking them for their help for you. The idea of helping you may be more appealing than the idea that they have to do something for themselves.

Thanks, I like the idea of an accountability partner. I tried that with my sister for a bit this summer but we can get at each other a bit (oh sisterly love) but I would like to try that again and make it work for most of my 6 weeks back. Maybe that can be the little kick start that we all need.

GingerLolita

Try to set an example. I'm also a college student and when I go home, I eat very healthy and my mom doesn't want to eat all the junk food she has lying around because I'm inspiring her to eat better too.

Also, ask them to help you out in your weight loss journey - and they'll probably lose some weight too. Plan meals and holiday treats together that are healthy and low-calorie enough for you (and the rest of your family). Ask them not to keep junk food in the house because you're trying to lose weight - and they won't have access to it either. You can also ask them to go to the gym with you: tell them you'd like to spend time with them while you work out and/or that you need help getting motivated.

Jagreene62

* Sorry!!! *

Stage14

I agree with everything that has already been said!! However, I have a question: Not knowing how your family works, but would you be getting a graduation gift from your family when you graduating in December? If so, maybe THIS is what you should ask for. For Christmas and Graduation I would love to have our family on in a good BMI range. You could all join MFP and communicate daily on progress, set backs, motivation, and just general support.

Just a suggestion!! Best of luck to you and your family!!

Seriously? Can you even imagine having someone say "I want you to lose weight as a gift to me"? That may be the single most insulting and self centered way I have ever heard of trying inspire a loved one to be healthy, and the truth is it might well be a relationship-ender for me.

p4ulmiller

Great advice Miller!

:flowerforyou:

themedalist

What you can do is offer to cook and then make slightly healthier versions. Make healthier snacks for yourself and if anyone asks about what your eating tell them and ask if they want to taste.

Don't be preachy. Don't talk about how much more healthy they can be. Just let it be what it is. Them eating something you've prepared for them.

Who usually does the cooking? Because if you want to make some small changes to make hings healthier.

But you have to remember that nothing will change unless your family wants to make the change and unfortunately often you have to hit rock bottom before you realize you have to change.

Very good advice,