Anybody else just need a bit of "stranger support" at times?

linzchapates

Some people come into your life as blessings, some people come into your life as lessons.

dreamer12151

Allow yourself this time to allow yourself to feel a little! Even the strongest person has their weak moments sometimes.

That being said, be proud of yourself that you are being strong and standing up for yourself NOW before the "fiancé" got changed to "husband/wife"! I know it may hurt now, but it will hurt more if allowed to stay and fester and become more of a problem later. (The old proverb - give them an inch & they will take a mile?)

You have to decide what is right for YOU. Be true to yourself.

Ange352lm

You are very brave and wise. You know now before you waste anymore time that this is not the right relationship for you. It is not easy to leave but someday when you look back you will know you did the right thing. I have been where you are and I know how hard it is to walk away but I am happier now than I have been in a really long time. One thing to note-when you become unavailable he may try to win you back. Just remember that you left for a reason. Best wishes!!

poedunk65

Get out and fins someone who loves you for you!

No one deserves to be beat down!

Get off your *kitten* and get on with life!

TX_Rhon

Big hug but sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

A man is supposed to make your lipstick smear.......not make your mascara run and you deserve to be happy!!!

So.........put your big girl panties on!! Buck up Buttercup!! Move on!!! :::insert as many cliches here that you need:::

Another hug your way :flowerforyou:

gabbygirl78

You know, somebody who isn't in the 'inner circle'. I kinda need that right now.

(This isn't really about diet or fitness support so I apologise if it doesn't belong here)

So, after months of being a coward about it all I'm finally setting things in motion and bringing my relationship to an end. My fiancé, as much as I love him, has broken me down these past three and a half years. It's taken me a long time to even begin rebuilding myself and in the process I've come to realise that he - and the life we'd planned - just don't seem to have the place they once did. The man has cheated and he has lied, rinsed and repeated. And as hard as he might have worked in recent times to make that all disappear, some things just aren't fixable. I love him dearly - and I believe wholeheartedly that he loves me every bit that he says he does - but it's not enough.

So why am I bawling my eyes out? Why, if I know that this is the right thing to do, does it feel so wrong? Why, after all the hurt he's caused me, am I scared to hurt him?

Somebody tell me to put my big girl pants on or something, please.

Sometimes letting go doesn't mean you stopped caring, it just means you realized he doesn't care enough to hang on to you. You are sad because you love this man. You feel broken and alone. You wanted the life you planned and you are scared to move on with out him but you have too. I have been exactly where you are but i didn't realize before the wedding. I married him and he continued to cheat and lie and tear me down. Get out now! Suck it up and know that while it hurts right now you are saving yourself YEARS of pain and heartache not to mention a costly divorce. Be thankful you didn't have kids with him like I did with my ex husband. My son has never had his father in his life but he has to watch his dad raise his other children from his affairs from a distance. They are the same age and my son goes to school with them. It is so hard. Don't put yourself through this anymore. One day you will see him treating someone the same way he has treated you and you will be so happy that he is someone else's problem and you are free from that! I promise! SOOO Pull up your big girl panties and suck it up and GET OUT!!!!!!!!

the_only_solution

I would say, if your not happy now, your not going to get happier later with the situation.. do what's best for you or you'll regret it later..

go to the good will, buy a set of plates for $5... then take those

write down with a sharpie everything you thought you had, everything you hate about it, everything he broke your trust with...

and then SMASH THE **** outta those plates, release all that betrayal, hurt, negative emotions and the when they are all gone, clean it up and move on with your process until your ready to start new..

Yes, yes, yes!!! I've done this. You'll remember the sound when you think of him, and it WILL help.
And since it's now the next day, I'm curious about how it went and how you feel about it now. I hope you woke up with a huge weight lifted.

KintsugiCurlyQueen

Thank you one and all, from the bottom of my heart, for the messages of support, encouragement and concern. Not to mention the hugs! I really am glad I turned to the MFP forums for this, as my support network at home isn't very tight right now.

Basically, as my (ex?)fiancé lives in another country and our mother tongue isn't the same, the only way I could execute this break up in a way that he would understand and (possibly) accept was via a very, very long text message. I stated that lines of communication were left open as I don't really want us ending on bad terms, but nothing so far. Bear in mind that this is not a man who gives up without a fight - if at all. I have a very long and emotional battle on my hands.

I don't want him to hate me.

I hate myself for doing this.

Wandering round with a knotted stomach and a heavy heart.

sofaking6

I went through something very similar with my ex. Although yes, he did love me and yes, it hurt him very badly when we broke up, the bottom line was that being with him was BAD for me. He told a lot of lies and was extremely narcissistic and the last couple of years were miserable.

It was bad for me I think more than anything because I couldn't really tell anyone how bad it was. I found myself always covering for him, so then his lies became my lies and I ended up feeling really alienated from my friends. Two years later I am still working to rebuild those relationships.

I think sometimes, for some of us, we feel like it's better to get hurt than to hurt someone else. In some situations that is a good way to be, but there's a point where you just have to draw a line and say you're not willing to be hurt any more than this.