Feeling frustrated

theloftlady

I have always been big and over the years dieted, lost weight and then gained agin. Back in August I decided enough was enough as I was at my heaviest ever at 222lbs and felt so uncomfortable. Losing weight is an incredibly hard challenge for me but to add exercise into that equation too...well that just doesn't happen. Until now!
I have M.E. And for the past 6 years have barely moved around, except when necessary. I haven't been able to exercise or be active in any shape or form and have spent hours sleeping in between working and running a home. Anyway on August 6th I decided to change all of that and challenge my body to some regular walks plus calorie counting....MFP is just what I needed.
Since August 6th I have lost 23.5lbs the most I have ever lost and in such a short time frame. I was feeling proud. I have gone from a UK size 22 to an 18 in three months. I was feeling proud. That was until the weekend. I went to a family do. My mother constantly tells me I will always be big, I am never going to be slimmer, so I could wait to see her face when she saw me 23lbs lighter. I don't see my family much as I live away from them all, so none of them had seen me since my heaviest weight back in August.
Do you know what. Not one person mentioned it. I was gutted. My mums only comment was on how well my sister had done losing weight and how wonderful she looked. I wanted to cry. I truly felt deflated.
Being an emotional eater I am now struggling not to stuff my face with crap now. However I want to lose another 7lb by Christmas which will give me a loss of a pound a a week until then, to give me a total loss of 30lb in just under 5 months. But my motivation has gone AWOL and I really just want to eat rubbish.
Please peeps I could do with some help x

AwesomeSquirrel

You should feel proud of your accomplishments so far - you've dropped 2 dress sizes! Sometimes when we're larger to begin with it takes longer for it to become obvious that we're losing weight. And it sounds like you were upstaged by someone else who's doing really well - how great that members of your family are getting healthy!

Remember that your lifestyle change has to be for you. External validation is great, but at the end of the day I believe that you have to be motivated within yourself. So it sucks that your family didn't notice. But it's not about them. You're doing great, and you deserve to keep doing great. You know that, which is why you're reaching out to us.

And if it really matters to you, by keep doing great for the coming 7 weeks I think your mother's face really will drop when she sees you at Christmas.

And just for good measure, my favourite pep talk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o

Good luck!

tdotali

I understand the need for approval, especially from your fam. And I understand how disappointing it is when you don't get the recognition that you deserve.

But this is YOUR life, and YOUR body. Don't listen to someone else's expectations of you. Set your own expectations! And hang out with others who will support you and push you to be your best.

23 lbs is no laughing matter. You obviously worked hard! Keep on going girl!! Don't sabotage yourself because of your mother.

lambchoplewis

I am so proud of you for losing this much weight. I know how you feel. I lost weight and my girlfriends never said anything. I wondered if they were jealous or what. I was sad then I got mad. "I will show them"!!! So I doubled down on my motivation and lost to my goal. Saw these friends again and now they asked if I was sick since I lost so much weight!!

You have to please yourself. I agree that these events can be motivation but for the long haul, you have to want it.

ktsmom430

You are doing something amazing! Be proud and look forward to the day when your mother will be bragging about what a good job you have done! IT WILL HAPPEN!

It is easy to get frustrated. It is natural to want to have your loved ones acknowlege all of your hard work, and trust me, it will happen if you stick with it.

Keep on moving forward, you will reach your goals!

theloftlady

Thank you everyone for your support. I only just found the replies, I thought no one had read my post! I am going to keep going although this week has been rather hit and miss (unexpected meal out last night didn't help!). I will reach my goal because it's what I want for ME!
Thank you x

lauraspberry

Dear, the only person you have to satisfy is yourself. Look at what you've accomplished! Don't put yourself down If you have lost that amount of weight then it means your dedication will take you a long way. Take this experience as a challenge, no one noticed? Then fine, you have lots of work to do so the last thing you need is to each a bunch of crap. since if you do binge, the only thing that they would notice is you gaining weight. Don't waste your previous efforts. This is tough love, and I know you can pull through. Put mind over matter, drink a glass of water before you eat anything. Don't reason out that you're an emotional eater, you can make a solution for that. If you say that to yourself then that's what you would be. Take all your feelings to the gym or take all your feelings out for a walk, put all the frustrations in your workouts and the only thing that you would be gaining is self confidence :flowerforyou: good luck!

lambchoplewis

Love this!!! It motivates me just thinking about why I am doing this. It should be for ME!!! I know I like when others notice but... I want to look in the mirror and feel good. You are doing great on weight loss. Thx

ElizabethFuller

It's odd isn't it? I have exactly the same thing, I've lost about 27lb and no one has commented, not at work, not my family (husband doesn't count, he has no choice!) the only person who has said anything was my sister's friend and she was immediately corrected her with a "No, she hasn't" You don't know if they really haven't noticed, they're jealous or they just don't want to feed your ego with compliments!

Either way, it doesn't matter. This is your journey, and the only person you have to impress is you. If you get upset and stuff yourself with sticky buns and chocolate it won't affect anyone else but you, don't do it!!!

I bet that you'll find you lose a few more pounds and suddenly everyone will be commenting - keep going, you're doing all the right things and in a few months time they'll all be picking their chins up from the floor when they see you.

lambchoplewis

I forgot about the female jealousy thing - you are correct. Some will NEVER say anything as it makes them look weak that they are not losing!!!

lauraspberry

Most of my girl friends never say anything but everyone else do HAHA it's either they see me too often or they feel bitter about it but I guess they just see me too often HAHA