Letting go of goals and being happy and healthy

julianadelbosque

Anyone else feel this way? I gained about 10 in the first two years of college by eating in the dining hall and restaurants and fast food and not exercising. I have managed to lose about 10 lbs since I started on MFP in June. I'm 113-115 at 5'4" so I'm happy with the number. I tend to get obsessive when I have specific goals, and my weight loss/fitness has been the main focus of my anxiety lately. It's not super healthy for my mental well being.

So I decided to chill and enjoy being healthy. I just upped my net calories to 1600, so I'm still at a slight deficit really just to allow for random snacking and any incorrect measurements (although I do weigh most things). I walk 1-4 miles a day to and from classes and work. I run 2-5 miles 2-4 times a week. I prepare the vast majority of my food and very rarely eat fast food or chips, etc. Sure, I would love to look more toned. But I've created healthy habits that I actually enjoy and feel are sustainable. I've realized it would take a lot for me to legitimately gain 5 lbs, and I have the tools in my arsenal to lose again if I need to.

I'm still going to log daily - I love cooking, and I like having my meals planned for the next day by the time I go to bed. It allows me to factor in snacks and desserts and stops me from choosing the easy, unhealthy options when I'm really hungry. The extra 100 calories from 1500 to 1600 makes such a huge difference somehow. But if I continue with my obsessive ways going about calorie counting and increasing exercise, I will drive myself crazy. I'm finally healthy, so now it's time to be happy!

Brandolin11

Sounds like you've figured out some great ways to ease your anxiety regarding your eating and that's great! You should continue to do what you're doing if you feel like you're in "the zone" of health. Based on the weight/height numbers and hours of exercise you cited, however, you are WAY way way under your calories. I apologize that I'm not sure whether you're male or female (Julia? JuliaN?) but even if you were female, which means you'd get less calories, you should be eating somewhere around 2,000 calories to maintain what you lost. Seems ironic, eh? Wouldn't that be fun to eat more snacks and not have to feel guilty though? Perhaps you could "up" your calories by 50 each week until you achieve those extra 400 though, so you don't trigger something by eating too much over what you're used to all at once.

I'd also make the gentle suggestion that it sounds like you also have generalized unresolved anxiety and obsessive issues, which I promise you, will come back to haunt you in the form of eating too much again if you don't deal with it. Controlling your eating and exercise habits through sheer force of will can work for a time, but eventually the deeper issues will rear their ugly heads and tempt you to eat, or starve yourself/exercise too hard, or whatever your drug (behavior) of choice is. Might I suggest exploring that as you continue to work on your wonderful eating and exercise habits you're building for yourself? I think it'll do you lots of good. Blessings.

julianadelbosque

Sounds like you've figured out some great ways to ease your anxiety regarding your eating and that's great! You should continue to do what you're doing if you feel like you're in "the zone" of health. Based on the weight/height numbers and hours of exercise you cited, however, you are WAY way way under your calories. I apologize that I'm not sure whether you're male or female (Julia? JuliaN?) but even if you were female, which means you'd get less calories, you should be eating somewhere around 2,000 calories to maintain what you lost. Seems ironic, eh? Wouldn't that be fun to eat more snacks and not have to feel guilty though? Perhaps you could "up" your calories by 50 each week until you achieve those extra 400 though, so you don't trigger something by eating too much over what you're used to all at once.

I'd also make the gentle suggestion that it sounds like you also have generalized unresolved anxiety and obsessive issues, which I promise you, will come back to haunt you in the form of eating too much again if you don't deal with it. Controlling your eating and exercise habits through sheer force of will can work for a time, but eventually the deeper issues will rear their ugly heads and tempt you to eat, or starve yourself/exercise too hard, or whatever your drug (behavior) of choice is. Might I suggest exploring that as you continue to work on your wonderful eating and exercise habits you're building for yourself? I think it'll do you lots of good. Blessings.

All the TDEE calculators put me around 1750 (as a female) for maintenance with light exercise, so the 1600 plus eating back exercise calories gives me a comfortable amount of wiggle room. I'm planning on upping it eventually (2000 is a crazy amount to think about haha) depending on where my weight goes, but I'm happy here for now.

I am also seeing a therapist and just started some medication for anxiety which is a reason I'm really focused on being happy and satisfied with my health. Binging has never really been an issue for me - I binge maybe once every few months in response to extreme stress, and my last one only brought me to about 2500-2700 for the day which is not a big deal at all. My weight gain was in response to eating unhealthily on a college campus and not exercising over a long period of time rather than emotional issues with food. I don't have the best relationship I could with food, but I am fortunate that it's relatively healthy.

Brandolin11

As long as you've either talked to a professional or consulted a professional website about your caloric needs (based on your thorough information which I realize I don't have access to and thus I could've been off) and you and the doc came up w/ 1,750 then that's great! I'd again gently argue that you should definitely raise yourself up to 1,750, not keep yourself indefinitely at 1,600 as you may either continue to lose (and at your height you shouldn't be losing much more (I'm also 5'4" but am 127 and right in the middle of the healthy zone)) or feel like your starving and trigger some unhealthy anxiety/habits again... But I totally get it - when I reached my goal and started maintenance, I kicked my calories way up all at once and it wasn't good - I actually felt ill! I had to do it slowly, by 50-calorie increments per week until I was up to my 1,800.

So glad to hear about the meds for your anxiety, that's brilliant! That'll help all the way around. And as you get into long-term exercise you just might find you need those meds less and less. Congratulations - keep up the great work and best of luck to you!

rosemary98

I have been considering becoming less rigid about my weight as well. For me, the daily scale fluctuations deterrmine if I will have a good day or bad day. that just isn't right. I plan to still weigh (maybe twice weekly to start with?) I have also started an exercise program that I hope will provide me with a stress outlet as well as making me stronger and healthier. I am at maintenance, but I guess I feel so scared of falling off the balance beam (so to speak).