Asked thin hubby for help

Boxerlove72

I work 11hrs a day and do all errands and most of house work due to hubby's bad back. At end of day, I'm exhausted! No real time for myself or to plan meals. Asked hubby for help planning and making meals as he does most of cooking and he loves it so much. He used to be bigger guy, but lost a lot and inadvertently insulted me by telling me he'd help prepare meals for me. Told me how it's human nature to eat what I have allotted for breakfast, then find yourself still hungry and also eating what you have allotted for lunch right after. I know he meant well, but wow!!!! How do you deal with supportive spouse who previously lost a lot who thinks they know best????

stealthq

Let me get this straight - you asked your husband to help plan and make meals and somehow him telling you he'd do what you asked is insulting? Or was it the comment about still being hungry after breakfast? I honestly can't find the buried insult in that comment at all unless you're stuffing your face at breakfast, and I'm guessing it's the opposite.

I'm confused.

BTW - if he's lost a good amount of weight in the past and kept it off, you can probably assume he knows something about weight loss. Maybe his methods aren't going to work as well for you - we all have a different psychology around why we overeat, but I wouldn't dismiss him out of hand. Be glad your husband is supportive. If his methods don't work for you, poke around the forums and find something that does work. Odds are your husband will be supportive about those methods, too.

Ainar

You don't deal with them, you deal with yourself. Cos like you said he meant good. And it's your fault that you get insulted not his. Yes, he said it, without the intent. But you took it differently, as an insult, so it's you.

He tried to support you by saying it's normal. Because it is normal, if you are on a diet your body will want to ate so as your mind because it's not used to not to. What hurt you is the truth, isn't it? Yes, it's painful to hear the truth but that is a good thing because it can serve as motivation. If all you would hear is you are doing great and you are beautiful as you are, blah, blah, then °you would have less motivation to change.

So if you ever feel insulted about truth, well, don't be. There's no point of being insulted about truth. Just accept it, grab your guts and deal with. Don't pretend you are perfect cos nobody of us are. I also was a fat and pathetic pig pretty much. You just have to see it and then work hard to change it.

Don't be mad at your husband. He just wanted to help cos he loves you and cares about you. Some of use here don't have support at all. So be thankful, really.

If you wanna deal with it well then best thing to do and tell him "I know you meant good but you saying this and that makes me feel like **** please don't do it". See what results you will get. Might need to do that more times tho till he finally gets it but I'm sure he will.

drop_it_like_a_squat

Let me get this straight - you asked your husband to help plan and make meals and somehow him telling you he'd do what you asked is insulting? Or was it the comment about still being hungry after breakfast? I honestly can't find the buried insult in that comment at all unless you're stuffing your face at breakfast, and I'm guessing it's the opposite.

^ I don't get it either.

TavistockToad

Let me get this straight - you asked your husband to help plan and make meals and somehow him telling you he'd do what you asked is insulting? Or was it the comment about still being hungry after breakfast? I honestly can't find the buried insult in that comment at all unless you're stuffing your face at breakfast, and I'm guessing it's the opposite.

^ I don't get it either.

nor me....

Ainar

As far as I understand it she's offended cos her husband made a comment about her binging at breakfast... might be wrong tho.