Does anyone else suffer/ has suffered with social anxiety?

benefiting

How do you deal with it?

I've been hiding myself from the world for so long. I know the only way to overcome it is, you know, get out there and once I get past my awkwardness and the anxiety I probably would meet a lot of good people but honestly I don't even know where I'd meet people anyway. I usually talk to people online and my family in person (I sometimes see a friend) and that is my social life. I know I don't want to hide anymore and I want a life. I want to meet people, get a job, live a 'normal' life but yeah.

annekka

Meds. Becoming a teacher helped me a lot with having to be in front of people, still have other things that bug me though. It's a cold day in *&(_ that I go out to a party or something where I don't know people.

MyJourney1960

hugs sweetie. not me, but my son.

there is no magic wand to wave and make it go away.

lots of therapy, and taking baby steps, going out of your comfort zone *once* and realizing that you didn't get hurt, and trying again. do something impulsively - with my son he would ask a stranger something (i don't mean in a creepy way i mean if we had to buy something, HE would be the one to ask the questions instead of deferring to me), he would intiate a call to someone, etc.

My son has a good therapist (not great) and in the past few months started working with a "coach" who has been amazing -she got him to sign up for a class which he has been going to religiously for a few months, she helsp him make phone calls to people (kind of holds his hand while he does it), etc. i notice that with each success he gains a little more confidence. it's a long journey, and it's not easy, and i wish you the best of luck.

angelhope69

Hi

I found the best thing is to joining a class....This will give you something else to focus on and you wont even realise your socialising....

Have you thought about riding? You could have riding lessons with an instructor and join a group class when your more confident.....The horses also help you to understand yourself and socialising....as they are very social animals....

equine therepy has scientifically been proven to assist in anxiety cases also...

Hope this helps and Good Luck X

benefiting

hugs sweetie. not me, but my son.

there is no magic wand to wave and make it go away.

lots of therapy, and taking baby steps, going out of your comfort zone *once* and realizing that you didn't get hurt, and trying again. do something impulsively - with my son he would ask a stranger something (i don't mean in a creepy way i mean if we had to buy something, HE would be the one to ask the questions instead of deferring to me), he would intiate a call to someone, etc.

My son has a good therapist (not great) and in the past few months started working with a "coach" who has been amazing -she got him to sign up for a class which he has been going to religiously for a few months, she helsp him make phone calls to people (kind of holds his hand while he does it), etc. i notice that with each success he gains a little more confidence. it's a long journey, and it's not easy, and i wish you the best of luck.

Aw, that's so great! Well done to your son.

Yeah, I don't like talking on the phone either but if I have to I will. In the past I've joined a class but I'd just sit in the corner and then eventually quit partly (maybe even all) I would have to work with other people eventually. It's so pathetic but I can't handle it. I wasn't treated that good at school. >_<

amcsouth

I was extremely overweight my whole life so this was always a huge issue for me. Still is in some ways. What I did was started with some anxiety meds and signed up to volunteer (I help teach physically and mentally disabled kids how to horse ride, so there was pretty much no judgement or pressure there). Horses are amazing healers in my opinion

After awhile I joined the gym again and I eventually got introduced to weight lifting. Best thing that every happened to me. I started with a training partner who fell away and I HAD to learn to get over my anxiety if I wanted to continue lifting. I'm the only female that lifts at my gym so its a freaking scary thing to walk in there and get it done (especially since I'm surrounded by these massive guys).

You need to find something like a hobby or an activity that you enjoy which can be done socially. It takes alot of small steps but it will happen. As someone said you need to desensitize yourself to it. Make a point of talking to someone new every day even if you just say hello

MyJourney1960

hugs sweetie. not me, but my son.

there is no magic wand to wave and make it go away.

lots of therapy, and taking baby steps, going out of your comfort zone *once* and realizing that you didn't get hurt, and trying again. do something impulsively - with my son he would ask a stranger something (i don't mean in a creepy way i mean if we had to buy something, HE would be the one to ask the questions instead of deferring to me), he would intiate a call to someone, etc.

My son has a good therapist (not great) and in the past few months started working with a "coach" who has been amazing -she got him to sign up for a class which he has been going to religiously for a few months, she helsp him make phone calls to people (kind of holds his hand while he does it), etc. i notice that with each success he gains a little more confidence. it's a long journey, and it's not easy, and i wish you the best of luck.

Aw, that's so great! Well done to your son.

Yeah, I don't like talking on the phone either but if I have to I will. In the past I've joined a class but I'd just sit in the corner and then eventually quit partly (maybe even all) I would have to work with other people eventually. It's so pathetic but I can't handle it. I wasn't treated that good at school. >_<

well again, and this is what worked with him - he signed up for ONE course that was 15 weeks. it seemed insurmountable to him at first - but i told him, go once. and i even went with him the first time (i didn't go into the class - i went with him to the college [it's in a different city] and then met him after class. the following few times i met him after class to go home together until he felt "safe" and does it on his own now). the fact that it had a start and finish point helped him. and now he is looking into a nother class. and maybe college some day. so maybe go to a one time class in something you love - i don't know, like cooking? art? a guided tour of a museum? something that is interesting to you and will have peope that you don't know and that don't know you

Ke22yB

At my heaviest I was always avoiding alot of social situations, before a group dinner would check to see the restaurant seating no chairs with arms no booths etc. I could stand in a room of people at a party with a drink in hand and listen to everone else talk to each other being afraid to eat because eveeryone would be looking at the " fat guy" eat.
So lets not overthink this first you are making great progress here you have taken control and losing weight and getting fit so you have removed the image problems now as alot of people here have said take some baby steps.
I have joined a yoga class and a men's fitness class at the center in my town so slowly we have gone from nods and hellos to comments about the class and what we are doing to conversations about real life our kids our grandkids the town politics and so forth. I am now at class 15 minutes early to chat with people about everything.
I walk alot around town people have called me the "walking man" and started to nod and say hello we now chat for instance if I get to the post office door and hold the door we walk in together and chat "nice day" how are you whatever its interaction with people.
Lastly I joined a runners group and we meet 3 or 4 times a week and I try to get to all the runs since we talk and run together and now go to local races so I belong, I am by far the oldest and the slowest runner things I would have shunned in the past and nows its OK we ran our first club race last week and I finished last and the rest of the club was at the finish to shake my hand. I was not mortified but proud I have turned the corner from social anxiety and run a ways down the block as well
You can do this "take baby steps" and before you know it comfort replaces fear
Good Luck

benefiting

hugs sweetie. not me, but my son.

there is no magic wand to wave and make it go away.

lots of therapy, and taking baby steps, going out of your comfort zone *once* and realizing that you didn't get hurt, and trying again. do something impulsively - with my son he would ask a stranger something (i don't mean in a creepy way i mean if we had to buy something, HE would be the one to ask the questions instead of deferring to me), he would intiate a call to someone, etc.

My son has a good therapist (not great) and in the past few months started working with a "coach" who has been amazing -she got him to sign up for a class which he has been going to religiously for a few months, she helsp him make phone calls to people (kind of holds his hand while he does it), etc. i notice that with each success he gains a little more confidence. it's a long journey, and it's not easy, and i wish you the best of luck.

Aw, that's so great! Well done to your son.

Yeah, I don't like talking on the phone either but if I have to I will. In the past I've joined a class but I'd just sit in the corner and then eventually quit partly (maybe even all) I would have to work with other people eventually. It's so pathetic but I can't handle it. I wasn't treated that good at school. >_<

well again, and this is what worked with him - he signed up for ONE course that was 15 weeks. it seemed insurmountable to him at first - but i told him, go once. and i even went with him the first time (i didn't go into the class - i went with him to the college [it's in a different city] and then met him after class. the following few times i met him after class to go home together until he felt "safe" and does it on his own now). the fact that it had a start and finish point helped him. and now he is looking into a nother class. and maybe college some day. so maybe go to a one time class in something you love - i don't know, like cooking? art? a guided tour of a museum? something that is interesting to you and will have peope that you don't know and that don't know you

I'm going to try and get into doing my Childcare course next year. It isn't a short course but I know Childcare is one of my callings, so I might as well spend my time on something that will benefit me.

Good luck to your son. May I ask how old he is?

nomeejerome

Take slow steps and try to make a list of goals you would like to accomplish each day. Try having one of those goals being out of your comfort zone. It is ok if you are not able to accomplish that one uncomfortable goal right away, but trying is a huge step. Do you see anybody professionally?

benefiting

At my heaviest I was always avoiding alot of social situations, before a group dinner would check to see the restaurant seating no chairs with arms no booths etc. I could stand in a room of people at a party with a drink in hand and listen to everone else talk to each other being afraid to eat because eveeryone would be looking at the " fat guy" eat.
So lets not overthink this first you are making great progress here you have taken control and losing weight and getting fit so you have removed the image problems now as alot of people here have said take some baby steps.
I have joined a yoga class and a men's fitness class at the center in my town so slowly we have gone from nods and hellos to comments about the class and what we are doing to conversations about real life our kids our grandkids the town politics and so forth. I am now at class 15 minutes early to chat with people about everything.
I walk alot around town people have called me the "walking man" and started to nod and say hello we now chat for instance if I get to the post office door and hold the door we walk in together and chat "nice day" how are you whatever its interaction with people.
Lastly I joined a runners group and we meet 3 or 4 times a week and I try to get to all the runs since we talk and run together and now go to local races so I belong, I am by far the oldest and the slowest runner things I would have shunned in the past and nows its OK we ran our first club race last week and I finished last and the rest of the club was at the finish to shake my hand. I was not mortified but proud I have turned the corner from social anxiety and run a ways down the block as well
You can do this "take baby steps" and before you know it comfort replaces fear
Good Luck

Well done on your journey.

Just wanted to make this clear because I don't know if people are thinking I feel anxious about social situations because of my body image because that isn't it. All good if you weren't implying that. :P

AA1ex

I have to say the "taking classes" idea is what has helped me. I have become a great student so I'm confident in helping others in the class so it is socializing but not too awkwardly. Maybe volunteering some where that includes an interest of yours. For the parties that I get dragged to and don't know anyone I keep the interaction short and pleasant, clichés work well when giving a simple responses. Hope this helps but you will find what works for you. :flowerforyou:

benefiting

Take slow steps and try to make a list of goals you would like to accomplish each day. Try having one of those goals being out of your comfort zone. It is ok if you are not able to accomplish that one uncomfortable goal right away, but trying is a huge step. Do you see anybody professionally?

I currently am not but I will find someone soon.

benefiting

Thanks for the replies guys.

nomeejerome

Take slow steps and try to make a list of goals you would like to accomplish each day. Try having one of those goals being out of your comfort zone. It is ok if you are not able to accomplish that one uncomfortable goal right away, but trying is a huge step. Do you see anybody professionally?

I currently am not but I will find someone soon.

Good to hear. Wish you well.

stt43

It's hard. I have had social anxiety with other types of anxiety, and depression, for about 10 years. I am doing a Masters degree at university, but have been feeling worse and worse over the last few weeks to the point where I can't take the transport to uni, and I don't go out anywhere or do anything. Shopping is a struggle, so I get my groceries delivered, but now I'm sat here waiting for the delivery getting anxious about that!
Medication, therapy, exercise, nutrition, and meditation have all helped me a little in the past though.

benefiting

Good to hear. Wish you well.

Thank you!

benefiting

It's hard. I have had social anxiety with other types of anxiety, and depression, for about 10 years. I am doing a Masters degree at university, but have been feeling worse and worse over the last few weeks to the point where I can't take the transport to uni, and I don't go out anywhere or do anything. Shopping is a struggle, so I get my groceries delivered, but now I'm sat here waiting for the delivery getting anxious about that!
Medication, therapy, exercise, nutrition, and meditation have all helped me a little in the past though.

That really sucks. Keep at it though! Thanks for the advice.

Ke22yB

No I was saying I was socially anxious because of my body image and what I was afraid people was saying at and about me. I can not speak to what causes your feelings since we don't know you at all. So I meant you are controlling that and if it was a problem you should discount that

Anita_hoar12345

exercise helps me I am hoping it will be gone when I lose all my extra fat. I hate it because I always quit jobs and **** and my brain can't work like normal people in public places even around friends sometimes I just want to disapear.

_Tink_

I've struggled with it my entire life, and it's actually gotten worse in adulthood (probably because I've moved so much for work - starting over gets harder every time). I've learned to fake social comfort pretty well when it comes to work and casual situations, but I still struggle with fear and anxiety in nearly all social situations. If there was just one thing about myself that I could change, that would be it. The worse it gets, the more I hate it - and it just contributes to an already poor self image.