Feeling Guilty

lucky1girl

I has been a hard week and a half for me. My job has been extremely stressful and there has been a lot of pressure. Couple this with Halloween candy and I am dreading getting on the scale this week. I haven't been eating right and I stopped working out. I realize it is only 11 days but when I find myself in this situation I feel like I want to give up. I have always had a hard time letting go of the mistakes or allowing for cheat meals/days. It is so frustrating and I feel like its just all too hard. My weight loss has been minimal while for others it just seems to come off a lot faster.

I know I need to let go and simply move forward- its hard- but I need to do it for myself. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated!

Thanks!

nutmegoreo

Yes, you need to shake it off and not be so hard on yourself. We are always our own biggest critic. What would you say to a friend in the same situation? You wouldn't be hard on her, you would give her support and tell her she deserves happiness and kindness in her life. Whatever you would tell your friend, tell yourself right now. You can get through it and you can turn it around.

jljewell

We all have those times when life gets in the way of the plan. I had one of those same periods a little while ago. I regained over 2 pounds and I was very down on myself. But then I reminded myself that I could lose those pounds again if I just tried. And I've lost those and more. It helped me to realize that my weight loss isn't a linear progression, but a process of changing the way that I live. And the process will fail sometimes, or I'll have to make adjustments as outside factors (stress, work, holidays) impact the process. Don't beat yourself up over it. Consider waiting another week to get on the scale, and get back with your plan. You can do it.

nashai01

Just keep going. It is ok to mess up but don't give up.

1longroad

You are worth the journey to health!! The reasons you started this journey, still exist and you can use them to help remotivate yourself!! You deserve to be happy and healthy!! Food may make you happy for a moment, but feeling good will last much longer!!

fivethreeone

Shake it off and just make a change.

Guilt is the least productive emotion.

Francl27

Problem is giving up is not really an option. If you feel guilty now, you'll feel even more guilty later when you're 20 lbs heavier. Trust me on that.

Think of it as a break, I'm sure your metabolism was glad to have more food for a while... then go right back to it.

spoiledpuppies

You can always recommit. I also find that this is a benefit to weighing every day. There's no dreading any one particular day. That seems like it could set me off track if I then skip that one day.

Kyog

I just came back from a two week holiday (lots of food and booze), and when I came back I had naughty days, seeing my friends, eating and drinking alcohol. I started back on here a week ago, and I'm happy, because I know that by the end of next week, I'll be the weight I was before I left and the weight will just keep coming off. And you've only been off the wagon 11 days or so, compare that with my 3 weeks (before and after holiday included) - you're much better behaved than me! you can do it!

Time WILL pass, and you should ask yourself, where do you want to be in a month's time? 'cos it's coming and none of us can stop it. You'll feel great if you know you've been back on the wagon, and have made progress. Chin up x

myurav

It's really easy to feel guilty about food, and I think an important aspect of this journey is to learn how to moderate those feelings or understand that eating is, in general, a good thing!

Something that really helps me is to repeat to myself that any food I put in my mouth is a choice that I am making consciously - so, for example, I had a Fun Size bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms after lunch, and it was delicious! And I savored every bite, and logged it and I'm moving on.

Instead of saying 'I couldn't help myself' or 'I can't control myself', you can take control of your eating. You had a day where that didn't happen, so just do better next time! That's all any of us can do. Feel free to add me as a friend for support

gailmelanie

I just came back from a two week holiday (lots of food and booze), and when I came back I had naughty days, seeing my friends, eating and drinking alcohol. I started back on here a week ago, and I'm happy, because I know that by the end of next week, I'll be the weight I was before I left and the weight will just keep coming off. And you've only been off the wagon 11 days or so, compare that with my 3 weeks (before and after holiday included) - you're much better behaved than me! you can do it!

Time WILL pass, and you should ask yourself, where do you want to be in a month's time? 'cos it's coming and none of us can stop it. You'll feel great if you know you've been back on the wagon, and have made progress. Chin up x

That last sentence is the one that's important here. I complained to a coworker who had had surgery to lose weight that it always seemed to take so long to lose weight and I just couldn't seem to get started because that length of time was daunting. She said, "That time will pass, anyway, no matter how you spend it. You might as well just get busy or you'll never reach your goals, even when the time has passed in which you could have accomplished something." It isn't helpful or productive to kick yourself for failing to measure up to your own high standards. Doing so just makes you feel bad. Look ahead and keep going. Come here for more encouragement whenever you need it.

Fuzzipeg

Tomorrow is another day. It may take many tomorrows to get to where you want to be eventually. Take it a day or a week at a time give yourself credit for what you have achieved so far. If you haven't been logging properly over the last 10 days or so. Put it all behind you. When you first open your page in the morning you will see a clean sheet, every new day is a clean sheet. Some days will go better than others.

You will get there

lucky1girl

Very true!

lucky1girl

You are all so amazing! Thank you SOOO much for the support. I'm not one who typically puts it out there (let alone in a forum) but I really needed some encouragement and figured it couldn't hurt. You all were wonderful and give good advice! Thank you for helping me truly KNOW that it is ok and that I need to move forward! I really can't thank you enough!

rosemary98

1.) the scale may not be as scary as you think at your weigh-in;
2.) if it is higher--turn that into motivation to do better and stay on track;
3.) guilt and regret are pretty useless when it comes to eating right and staying fit;
4.) you are by far NOT alone...we have all fallen off track;
5.) eradicate the idea the going back to old ways is even an option.
6.) there are no promises in life, but this is something you can do right now, today...stay committed.

KANGOOJUMPS

toughen up
conquer everything HEAD ON/
WILLPOWER!

sch1994

I am in the exact same boat, Been off the diet for a few weeks and stepped on the scales to see 3lbs up! it is horrible, but if i didn't get on the scales today, I would still be eating badly and not exercising like i should have been! dont worry, just weigh yourself and move forward!

You can always add me as a friend as i need motivation too and i wouldnt judge at all! if you ever need anything! but you are doing fantastic just need to get back at it!

it will be worth it in the end!

Good Luck! Keep us posted!

Brandolin11

Totally agree with everyone here that tomorrow is another day to start again (though I'd take it one step further and say the next MOMENT is another moment - i.e., don't wait until tomorrow...start over NOW).

In addition, it is important to realize (or admit, if you've already realized it but not absorbed it) that life-change of this magnitude is going to require a lot more out of you than just "eating right". It's going to require you go WAY deeper with yourself than just picking yourself up and starting again tomorrow.

See folks like us (i.e., people with eating problems) quit, give up easily, and get easily discouraged for a reason. We are very "young" and immature in our character, in this part of our lives. The reasons are part nature and part nurture - some of us have addictive personalities, some of us are more laid-back (lazy) than others, some of us have esteem issues due to family life, some of us were indulged and spoiled and got whatever we wanted whenever we wanted....the reasons are innumberable.

We require a "growing up" of sorts, to succeed in being healthy.

One thing we all have in common: we do not like pain and we soothe our pain by eating. Right away, this causes is a HUGE problem for us during our weight-loss efforts because...hello...giving up things we love *hurts*. Even if we choose to just eat less of the things we love...it hurts. We want what we want...and we want it NOW. This is how we've been grooming ourselves to live for a looooooong time.

Thus, when things get too "painful" (i.e., I miss my trigger foods, I miss my daily morning Coca-Cola, I'm feeling hungry this afternoon because I didn't eat enough at lunch, I'm angry that I'm fat and I have to do this in the first place, I'm hopeless that this will even work, Why do I even bother?, and blah blah blah blah blah)....we go back to the eating. Because eating is what comforts us during times of pain.

More than that, the behavior/action of giving in to the desire to eat feels REEEAAALLY good in the moment - it relieves the horrible tension between holding ourselves back from eating too much, and wanting to eat too much. The tension messes us up. The action of physically putting the food into our mouths and savoring the taste, the texture, the sweetness, the saltiness, whatever...relieves it (temporarily).

I believe weight loss is 10% biological and 90% psychological (which includes the emotions). We try to fix the biological stuff by dieting or whatever, but we never *really* deal with what's going on inside. Until we stop turning to food to take care of us, we will never lose the weight nor become healthy.

True health starts in the mind and filters out to the body. Start trying to figure out what's going on inside your head, start trying to resolve those negative emotions, start deciding that this is your time to grow up, to develop good character traits of patience and loyalty and self-love and self-control, and watch yourself start to change.

Almost two years ago now, I switched my thinking from, "I'm so fat! I've just GOT to lose these 70 lbs!" to "I need to become a better and more healthy person. If I don't lose a pound, I don't care right now. It's more important for me to learn how to stop stuffing cookies into my face every time I feel like it. It's more important for me to learn how to live without food as an emotional crutch. It's more important for me to learn to love myself and treat myself with extreme care, as a mother would a child. I need to rid myself of the constant cycle of guilt and indulgence and self-loathing. I need to be FREE."

FREEDOM is the REAL goal. Not being thin. That is a lovely side-effect of having freedom of mind. Seek the freedom, and watch the weight begin to fall off. It works.

lambchoplewis

Brandolin11 - WOW - that was great. I agree that it would be so freeing not to think about food all the time. What did I eat, what am I going to eat, how much do I weigh from eating too much etc. I use food to pass the time if I am bored. I could read, clean the house or whatever but food is better. Until I have shoved it all down my throat and I feel like crap and get depressed. I take it one day at a time and sometimes, one hour at a time.

tfleischer

Don't give up. Kickstart yourself again with the actions you know work for you and it will come back to you.

Brandolin11

Brandolin11 - WOW - that was great. I agree that it would be so freeing not to think about food all the time. What did I eat, what am I going to eat, how much do I weigh from eating too much etc. I use food to pass the time if I am bored. I could read, clean the house or whatever but food is better. Until I have shoved it all down my throat and I feel like crap and get depressed. I take it one day at a time and sometimes, one hour at a time.

I totally hear ya! Before I started my journey, the obsession with food was unbearable. I'd think-think-think about food, about where I would obtain it, when I would eat it, how much I would/could eat, how I probably shouldn't have just eaten *that*, how even though I felt guilty for eating *that* I now want another one of *that*, and it went on and on and on.

When I finally got out from under this obsession, I almost didn' t know what to do with my brain. And yet...the relief from the constant whirling circle of guilt and self-loathing was so delicious that I didn't care... I enjoyed the silence for awhile.

Now, there is room in my head for good things. I think of people I love, how I can love them better, I think of fun things I might want to do on the weekends now that I'm not ashamed to go into public, I think of funny things I can put on Facebook to make my friends crack up, I think of creative things I might like to make after work, but best of all, I think about how happy I am with myself and my life.

I enjoy the peace and I will do ANYTHING to protect that peace. I gave up sugary treats and items with white flour to do this. I exercise and I drink tons of water. I get good sleep. I track every calorie that goes in my mouth (~645 days and counting!), even on maintenance to keep myself accountable. I reach out when I need help. I protect myself. I stopped hurting and abusing myself. That's a major key.

marciematthews

I have also had a bad couple days with my eating and I am feeling pretty bad about it this evening. You have to remember that tomorrow is a new and you can start over. Keep your head up...your human. Just get right back into it.

mamadon

Do you know what will cause you to fail? It's not the halloween candy. It's you. As long as you don't EVER give up you cannot fail at this. It's the guilt that will get you. Stop feeling guilty for being human, take it day by day.